[FR] women don't make sense

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October 21, 2017
6 upvotes

I'm posting in askmrp instead of marriedredpill becaise I see the askmrp community as a place for open ended dicussions. I do not have any wisdom to share but if someone wants to point out something I am doing wrong feel free. If field reports should be on marriedredpill let me know.

I've decided Friday nights I'm going to reward myself with something. Work all week and I just want to veg and play a video game or watch a movie or something.

Wife sent a text earlier in the day that she wanted to have a meeting after the kids went to bed and a hint that sounded like sex. I didn't respond because I was working.

Before the kids went to bed I told her I was going to play a video game after the kids went to bed. She reminded me of the meeting. So we got the kids to bed and I said lets make this quick. That upset her.

We talked about finances. Overspending had to be addressed. That upset her.

I mentioned us getting into cardio shape for an upcoming trip (i already lift). That upset her. Had to own that and I changed it to, I am going to get into cardio shape.

In short every topic upset her.

She watched her show. I played my game. She goes to bed. I initiate sex. She says she isn't having sex. Doesn't bother me, I simply get up and start playing my game again.

5 minutes later she gets out of bed and rants. Says she doesn't feel loved and she isn't having sex unless she feels loved. I ask "how can I make you feel loved?" She says "I don't know". I'm thinking ok, she is just wanting to rant so STFU. I let her rant. She goes to bed. I continue my game.

I'm not interested in catering to her emotional whims. I used to. In the past I would be apologizing for literally nothing that I had done wrong. I'm not doing that anymore. I wanted to play a game. I wanted sex. She didn't. This should not have been a big deal. But it was a big deal to her apparently.

Tldr; women don't make sense. Practicing STFU.


Post Information
Title [FR] women don't make sense
Author MikesHardLemonade226
Upvotes 6
Comments 32
Date 21 October 2017 12:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205253
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/77t2k7/fr_women_dont_make_sense/
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liftgamefield report
Comments

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

This dumpster fire is extinguished.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

Failed comfort test, probably to much push not enough pull. No game. She was willing to fuck you, thats why she came back.

I rewarded myself this week, got a sweet set of kettlebells. Put away the kiddie bullshit and reward yourself with more than some mindless entertainment and a dad bod. You might think its just video games, bet she sees a giant manchild playing with his tonka truck.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is 100% about the video games. When I saw that is how OP rewards himself I was saddened but not surprised.

Shave the neckbeard off OP. Men do not reward themselves by playing with kids toys.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If not the Xbox, than something else.

Its not the reason, it's how the reason manifests. If it was hiding in a man cave, or fantasy football, would it be different?

Even gym aholics, because, would it matter if his hobby made him hawter?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ok. Good points on the comfort test. I'll have to read more into that. But the meeting was going to step on some toes so there was no way around that. I'll have to own this and plan future meetings myself at a more convenient time.

As far as my hobby, I guess I could take up something more manly to impress her but I did not do this for her. I did it for me. Its what I wanted to do. Why should i do something she wants me to do as my hobby? That seems ass backwards. I need something to look forward to or else why work so damn hard all week.

I lift on a regular basis but its not for fun. Its just body maintenance and taking care of myself.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My point is to invest time in things that give back to you. Everyone needs down time but don’t make a habit of unrewarding activity.

It’s not about what you want to do or what she wants you to do, it’s about valuing your time and putting away childish distractions. You could have fucked your wife but instead you fingered that controller. Its all a choice, be attractive, dont be unattractive.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not for fun

Then you are not lifting hard enough.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No one said anything about doing a hobby because of her. Sure, you can sit there and do as you like and play video games. Just as you have every human right to do that, she has every human right to judge you for doing that. She may very well feel that you brushing through a meeting in which she needed to feel some captaining from you and a hope that sex would 'just happen' so you could go play some video games is extremely low value. And then she may also feel repulsed sexually from you and lash out at you.

The bottom line is own your shit. If you are cool spending your life playing video games and not giving her tingles, do that. But don't get all butthurt and complain that women don't make sense because they don't get turned on by your spawn camping in Call of Duty: Again. U want to fuck, be the man she wants to fuck. You want to play video games? Play video games. You sad that the two may not mix? Tough, that's life.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Raised her voice and didn't have to do cardio...

Seems easy

You get mad and she doesn't feel desired, so she uses her one trump card.

Sounds easy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm saying she's lazy and manipulative.

Im saying you're stupid and afraid

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

K. I'll do more reading. If you have a book you think would fit my being stupid and afraid let me know.

[–]rocknrollchuck3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

WISNIFG.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (7 children) | Copy

You're in the right place.

But you're wrong. Women make perfect sense. They're annoyingly predictable once you figure out the shape of their container. That's you. Women are who they are because you let them.

Wife wanted a meeting about finances and overspending? This mean you do not control the money in your own house? One of the first things to own your shit is take over complete control of the financial aspect of your lives. She resents this.

She also resents you insinuating that the meeting was unimportant to you by being dismissive and saying "make it quick".

You prioritized a video game over fucking your wife?

Then you basically said she was fat?

You did the textbook "butthurt" move of punishing her for not fucking you by leaving the bed in direct response to a hard no. Makes you look like a child throwing a tantrum in her eyes.

You're doing STFU wrong.

You're at the beginning of your journey, and you have a long way to go.

So first, drop your ego. All this is your fault, it rests squarely on your shoulders. You're not much of a captain, and she resents the fuck out of having to care for another child.

You're a type 1 drunk captain. You're already going Rambo.

Welcome. You have a lot of work to do. You must drop the ego, own your shit, and realize that everything happening to you is because of you.

Every week there's a post labelled Own your shit over in r/marriedredpill/. Start reading and try to participate. You haven't yet internalized the fact that it's on you to unfuck yourself.

[–]AstuteBlackMan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love this. Saving this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're in the right place.

Thanks

Wife wanted a meeting about finances and overspending?

I split up the accounts several months ago because of her overspending. She keeps bringing up that she wants to rejoin them. I told her I want her to be accountable for her spending. She said she wants a partnership. I was not convinced. She got pissed. I was willing to let her use reason to convince me but i'm not going to rejoin them just to satisfy her feels.

She also resents you insinuating that the meeting was unimportant to you by being dismissive and saying "make it quick".

I can see this. It was unimportant to me.

You prioritized a video game over fucking your wife?

No, I tried to fuck her and she gave a hard no so I went back to my gane.

Then you basically said she was fat?

Yes, I'll own this. I was wrong.

You did the textbook "butthurt" move of punishing her for not fucking you by leaving the bed in direct response to a hard no. Makes you look like a child throwing a tantrum in her eyes.

Perhaps. It didn't bother me that she said no. I proceeded to do what I wanted. Veg. What should I have done, stayed and cuddle?

So first, drop your ego. All this is your fault, it rests squarely on your shoulders. You're not much of a captain, and she resents the fuck out of having to care for another child.

K, i have been a drunk captian in the past but i own my shit now. I do my work so i can have down time. I had a good night. She didn't. I've stopped caring about her feeling. I have my own feelings to manage and my own shit to own. She does not have to take care of me or my feels. By STFU i do not put my feels on her.

Every week there's a post labelled Own your shit over in r/marriedredpill/. Start reading and try to participate. You haven't yet internalized the fact that it's on you to unfuck yourself.

K. I'll start owning my shit more and own what i've learned from your reply, and I'll post it there.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You split them because you dont want her to bankrupt you.

Be honest. She is shit with money, and you don't want to deal with it

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's right

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

So stop being afraid of her and say that

[–]trp_dude2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't split the finances. You're responsible for making sure she doesn't bankrupt you. She's asking for help here, buddy, and you're failing.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

the BP version of what you are doing is "pushing her away"

the rp version is that you are failing basic comfort and shit tests, while at the same time not providing any actual alpha sexual qualities. Of course she doesnt feel loved. She doesnt feel desired. Why would she. You would rather play a game with your thumbs than play a game on her body.

So - yea- you don't act like you desire her. You only want her for sex. Except you are making her feel like a cumdump rather than a woman who is desired.

You work? Good for you. Look at you adulting over here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good way of putting it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also, and this is important

do not have meetings and conversations with anyone that you do not completely control .

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok ill cancel all meetings with my boss and tell him an internet stranger told me to do this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol.

you can control those too.

[–]bourbonhipster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's DTF and you pick that moment to bring up finances and fitness. After you prioritized video games before sex. And insulted her ego.

You sound more angry than anything. It seems you think you played this one right but I don't see it that way.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you continue to treat your wife like a college roommate that isn’t doing what he’s supposed to, then that’s what she will continue to act like.

You got the Rambo part down. You are a badass, you rule, you can kick her ass and insult her to boot.

How’s that working out for you?

Sprinkle a little beta on it.

Read MMSLP and TWOTSM.

Along the way, immerse yourself in the sidebar and become THE man.

Chances are, she’ll WANT to fuck you.

If not, it will be easy enough to find someone who will.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t mix a bunch of subjects into one meeting that you want to “fix” with her.

All she feels is “he’s constantly criticizing me.”

Lead by example mostly.

As far as the finances, that is an area you can have a separate meeting, but don’t be autistic and do it before bed when she’s hinting at sex.

You’re not leading, you’re dictating. Absorb that thought.

And tell him what he can have as a parting gift Johnny...

You can have all of this and more ...in the sidebar———>

[–]SgtSilverBack1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The only thing I see is you building a life separate from your wife. If that is what you actually want then why are you writing a post that reads like you are complaining about getting what you wanted?

You separated finances. No biggie, you may be"owning" all the joint bills and your bills but how are you showing her you are a capable husband by watching her drown in her own financial inmaturity?

She wants a meeting and your choice of words presented a separate life. How are you showing her that you want her in your life, that you want both of you to be able hike or climb or look good on the beach during your trip without being a mouth breather?

You switched from we are individuals with our seperate lives to trying to duck back into hers for sex, got a no then pulled back out to your separate life. Where is the kino and game and reflecting the sexual being you are?

I get the games and rewarding yourself. However you are rewarding yourself for half the job. You were an adult for the week and thought that was enough to earn a submissive wife. Sounds like getting mad that you didn't get a paycheck because you didn't go to work. You:. "they didn't pay me this week so I'm not going in, that will show them" her: "he didn't show up to work this week so I'm not going to pay him,. WTF , doesn't he know you EARN a pussy check, I mean pay check"

Get back to work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The only thing I see is you building a life separate from your wife. If that is what you actually want then why are you writing a post that reads like you are complaining about getting what you wanted?

You're right I did get what I wanted and so i'm not complaining. Giving a FR so you guys can show me my failings. So it does appear this is building a life without my wife. Is that an issue?

You separated finances. No biggie, you may be"owning" all the joint bills and your bills but how are you showing her you are a capable husband by watching her drown in her own financial inmaturity?

I am pying ALL the bills and owning my shit. I don't know how to manage her financial immaturity except withdrawl my income. It sounds like I need to be the captian here but I don't know how except to micromanage and that sounds like a bad idea. So i withdrawl. We simply can't afford anything "extra" at this point. By seperating the finances I am making sure i have enough money to pay the electric bill. If she keeps going into debt on her own i'm not sure what i can do.

She wants a meeting and your choice of words presented a separate life. How are you showing her that you want her in your life, that you want both of you to be able hike or climb or look good on the beach during your trip without being a mouth breather?

Good question. I don't know. I thought part of RP was building a separate life. Owning my own shit.

You switched from we are individuals with our seperate lives to trying to duck back into hers for sex, got a no then pulled back out to your separate life. Where is the kino and game and reflecting the sexual being you are?

Not present. You're right.

I get the games and rewarding yourself. However you are rewarding yourself for half the job. You were an adult for the week and thought that was enough to earn a submissive wife. Sounds like getting mad that you didn't get a paycheck because you didn't go to work. You:. "they didn't pay me this week so I'm not going in, that will show them" her: "he didn't show up to work this week so I'm not going to pay him,. WTF , doesn't he know you EARN a pussy check, I mean pay check"

I didn't expect sex. I don't see myself as earning sex. Thr fact that she turned me down didn't bother me. She probably percieved that it did and perception is reality. I should have indicated that it didn't bother me.

Get back to work.

Will do.

[–]SgtSilverBack1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't be intertwined at the hip, you should have things you do that are your own. That's building a part of you that is separate from her. Not completely separating your life's. About the only thing you share is house and kids. She feels like a mom, she acts like a mom. You want her to act like a girlfriend, treat her like one. There is a post from a few days ago regarding this topic.

If kids were having trouble would you ignore them and hope the problem goes away. Or would you learn about the issue then lead them to a better way. If you don't know how to "lead" the learn. Ducking your head in the sand doesn't make it go away.

[–]bala-key1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's impossible to tell reading your side of the story how autistic you got during that conversation.

She obviously had a subtext that you failed to read and she got frustrated. That's completely normal.

I do recommend that you read up on what presence is. Improving it can help you be successful with other people too, not just your wife.



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