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Wife has low sex drive due to hormone therapy

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October 17, 2017
7 upvotes

I’m very intrigued by this sub. I started going down the sidebar and read “No More Mr. Nice Guy” and it makes so much sense to me.

But is going through this even worth it if my wife has a low sex drive brought on by hormone therapy to treat a condition? One of the well known side effects of this therapy is a low or nonexistent sex drive. Also, discomfort for her when we have sex.

I’m not about to suggest she go off the hormone therapy. She tried that on her own last year but that was disastrous. However we had more sex when she was not on the therapy.

Is there any hope?

Wife has endo. She’s on the NuvaRing which helps her symptoms dramatically. She started therapy about 6 years ago. Last year she wanted to get off of it and after going through a 3 month period of withdrawal she was fine for about another 3 months. Then her symptoms came back. So she went back on the therapy. Sex was great and frequent while off the therapy but is bland and I frequent while on the therapy.

We’re married ten years. We have two kids under the age of 10. I have a corporate job. She is a teacher.

The past year I made improvements on my health. I’ve lost 25 lbs and am as leaned and toned as I was in college. She even makes compliments on how I look.


Post Information
Title Wife has low sex drive due to hormone therapy
Author IAmNotMe79
Upvotes 7
Comments 21
Date 17 October 2017 01:55 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205272
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/76veo9/wife_has_low_sex_drive_due_to_hormone_therapy/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

But is going through this even worth it if my wife has a low sex drive

Going through? With what? You describe the process of fixing yourself like getting cancer treatment. Fix you not her.

[–]IAmNotMe79[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s a great way to think about it. Honestly, never thought about it that way. Thanks.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women have sex for all kinds of reasons. Easy answer? If she is bringing you the value that makes this hardship worth it, then stay.

If not, go.

Don't be bullied into doing something you don't want. Make sure it's a good decision, and not emotional knee jerk ones

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only reasons men stay in this situation is lack of options and kids. Old pussy is never worth the squeeze.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your wife has a low sex drive because you allow her to use an excuse not to fuck you.

This is a leadership failure.

I'm not just being an asshole here. I had a gf with endometriosis in college that got pain so bad she'd give herself 2nd degree burns from trying to get some relief in a scalding hot tub.

Is her asshole and mouth broken too? You think every time I fuck my wife or a plate they really really want to fuck? Maybe they're making the call because they know I Need Sex, and I have no issue finding what I need. Maybe they know they'll drop in the rotation if they don't perform up to standard? I don't give a shit about a hormonal low sex drive, it's her job to fuck you.

Flip it. Would you turn down crazy monkey sex with a new hot 21 yo gymnast just because you tweaked your back doing deadlifts?

Guess you're not her idea of a hot gymnast.

Dread. Look it up. You need it.

[–]Learningtomrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Follow this man's advice! I fell for the old "I'm too tired, I'm on my period, I don't want to because of ____" myriad of bs excuses.

From the other day, I went for sex and got "but babe I'm on my period". To which I replied "you have other holes She called me rude and an asshole, then proceeded to ride me through the night

[–]markpf733 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Married 10 years, two kids under 10, dual income family. You've come to the right place to learn the choice is yours. Go do the work.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

My wife used to complain about low sex drive and discomfort during sex, even tried telling me I was "too big" (nice ego stroking but I'm definitely not "too big"). Funny, when we first started dating it was neither painful nor "too big".

What changed? Did her condition change? Did my cock shrink over the last 12 months? If anything, it gained a visible inch or so from fat loss. Yet no more complaining?

Could it be that those were all manufactured excuses to keep from hurting me with the truth, that she just didn't want to fuck me?

I can't speak for a legitimateness of your wife's medical condition, but I can say this, once she wants to fuck you, the excuses go away. Maybe you can't do PIV, there's still plenty of other options.

You just need to be someone she values enough to make those options available. The only way you're going to find the truth out is to keep putting in the work to become someone who's sexual desires she wants to meet.

If you can get to the point where the truth becomes clear, then you can make your decision on wether or not your needs are being met and where you plan on going from there.

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Did my cock shrink over the last 12 months? If anything, it gained a visible inch or so from fat loss

Come on bro, you lost the belly and you could now see another inch!

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Reading comprehension, do you even?

"gained a visible inch or so from fat loss"

Key words, visible and fat loss.

Tough to see that inch when it's buried in fat.

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The important thing is where you bury it.

I thought your points were on song.

keep putting in the work to become someone who's sexual desires she wants to meet.

That's the key.

Edit: words because sometimes I type faster than my brain can keep up with.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women will use any excuse they can to not fuck someone they don't want to fuck.

You sound fat. Height and weight? DYEL bro?

[–]IAmNotMe79[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

5’8” 175 Yes I do lift. I was fat but lost weight over the past year.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep going then. You will get there.

[–]Aechzen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she has severe endometriosis, why isn't she getting a hysterectomy? There are lots of forms of contraception / hormone alteration. Why did her doctor suggest nuvaring?

Congratulations on getting to where you were in college. Keep going. Lifting gains take time. If you're not getting IOIs and flirting from women who owe you nothing, you have room to improve. Your woman may or may not follow you if you lead more. But the farther out into male awesomeness you go, the easier you'll find other interested women.

There are women who will walk across glass to get sex with a guy they want to have sex with. At the end of the day, the question is whether she thinks you are worth having sex with. I think blow jobs and anal count as sex. If she's not willing to get you off in any way, you know how much she values you.

I handle my low sex marriage by flirting and having sex outside my marriage. It's a pretty easy deductive answer to how you solve not having as much sex as you prefer. You do you, and you decide whether that's an option you are ready to consider.

If you haven't already been at this self-improvement thing for a while, don't put your dick in somebody else quite yet, but you need to get to a place where you generate a legitimate threat that you have other options. I have no idea where you are on your dread levels. Simply learning to flirt and open other women, and then using that strategy on your wife may get you a long way.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

read my response in MRP

All nubees and you

she will fix what is wrong, if you will keep improving yourself

it is not your job to fix this it is your job to support her on making sure to watch your fucking kids when she goes to the doc to get shit straightened out to keep you

so don't be a dumb fuck and come to us and say shit like I just said no to watching the kids so she go to the doc and then I STFU like a deaf mute fuck

read up on dread

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is where /u/irateMRPdoc would jump in. But he's gone.

I am a paramedic so if you're breathing and have a pulse not much I can do. Still the rules are the same. Work on yourself. You can't rule out real medical issues, and they need to be addressed, BUT....you need to also understand that women will make up a vast amount of reasons not to have sex with you. The process is to make her realize why she needs to have sex. I mean...sex is fun right? It's not just for you.

The advice is still clear. Follow the path, but until you can confirm or deny with medical advice hold off on dread that includes fucking other women. If she is well and truly having legit medical issues you will do nothing more then destroy your marriage and you have done nothing to improve.

While MRP is not concerned about the marriage we are about fixing the man...blowing this up while you have not explored the legit medical issue at hand means you've done nothing more then give in to your emotions and base nature.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

His comment about frequency of sex while she was off plus her compliments of how he looks makes me weight the medical as the stronger factor, but no matter if it is, if OP wants sex he'll have to keep improving or decide some day to move on or plate.

Seconding confirming and learning more about the medical side before upping dread. Would focus more on kino, opening up her fantasies to generate some tingles and if he has to, overtly tell her what he expects from her to keep him.

Presuming he is fully OYS with his responsibilities. If it's gonna be a lifelong course like this, nobody gets a pass and it is as much her responsibility to get over her own hurdles as he is for proper leadership.

OP, you have read sex god method for some ideas? You have your turn offs locked down? Pay attention to where you may have inputs here too.

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is she at least giving value in other areas?

[–]BiggestBoop0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you guys want more kids? If not, has she looked into a hysterectomy?

Has she had all her hormone levels checked? Your initial reaction to my next suggestion might be fear but I would suggest doing some reading. Women need testosterone too & the NuvaRing might be causing her ratio of estrogen & progesterone to be out of whack with her testosterone. In Australia, we have a TINY dose approved for women with low T. It will definitely help with her sex drive. You can look up the brand name: AndroFeme. It’s such a low dose that it’s not associated with virilization (masculinizing effects).

But both those are dependent on whether or not you want more kids.

I’d also recommend you take other posters’ advice on this thread with a grain of salt. She has a medical issue and so her sex drive is not entirely a reflection on your SMV. Of course, you need to be on top of your game, but this isn’t your typical situation where a woman can’t get wet for her loser husband.

There’s a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to women’s reproductive health issues but they can be real and truly painful. I don’t completely fault her for not wanting to experience them and letting her sex drive take the hit. You should do some more research and discuss the options with her. You should also be clear that the impact on her sex drive is causing a problem in your marriage. She may not fully realize the extent.

[–]BobbyPeru-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is your question?



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