I will not pretend to be a RedPill yet, and not even a PurplePill; maybe just a redder shade of Blue..
However, since reading NMMNG and since I started taking responsibility for my own actions and shit, I get really frustrated with my former BluePill colleagues and friends. Everywhere I look, men are hiding behind shitty excuses to explain away why they haven't done this, or why they haven't yet started on that.
My brother-in-law, for example, I just want to break his legs. A year ago we were best friends but since I discovered MRP, he really grinds on my nerves. He can't stop talking about his children (like I care his one-year-old son pooped himself while rolling over for the first time), can't stop seek validation (look how good I cooked this recipe for you) and won't stand up to his wife (except when the pressure gets to much, he then explodes, yells some excuses and then won't talk to her for several hours).. [yes, he clearly is the woman in the relationship].
My colleague, for example, I just want to beat him with heavy clubs and leave him bleeding in the moonlight. This is his third year in IT and he still doesn't know how to change a toner in a printer (really!). He hides behind the fact this is all new material for him, and how he needs time to get worked in... He is also a classic beta bluepill who can not express his anger, swallows his feelings and likes being pushed around. He is a punchball that takes all hits (screaming wife on the phone, screaming employees in the office) without even pushing back. But the passive anger he radiates is really scary. If only he would react once..
My boss, for example, I just want to smash him across the face repeatedly with a piece of heavy mining equipment. He is afraid to tell his employees what they should do better but instead hides in office and sends mails out with action points, focus groups, extra meetings and inspirational quotes. The employee who yells the loudest gets his way, unless someone else goes in after him and also starts yelling. There is no vision, no roadmap, no long time strategy; just putting out fires by trying to please everyone and by such: no-one
And I am sitting here, looking around baffled, asking myself why and getting really really angry. Not that I want to redknight them because they all seem to be lost cases anyway. But I get so angry that they won't take responsibility for their marriage / work / employees / life. I get angry they won't stand up for themselves and by doing so, making life better for everyone around them.
And because of that anger, I am even less fun to be around than I used to. Because they grind my nerves, because I resent them for being weak, because I can't fake that nothing has changed for me.
Will I ever get over this anger-phase? Or is this the toll one pays for unplugging? Will I ever be able to talk normally to them again?
And if you want to know why I care -> because I feel right now, I could do better (for me). I don't care what they think of me but these are people I can't really get around. They are forced into my life and there are moments when I can't hide from them. Those moments at least, I should be able to be at least pleasant and fun, and not ready to lash out verbally at any moment...