Ok, guys, I think it's over. Maybe I'm trying to negotiate with the impossible, but here's the situation:

Clearing out the medicine cupboard, I find the morning after pill with the wife's name on it.

We have never had a contraceptive oops, worry or anything like that. Even if we did, it doesn't require a doctor to prescribe in this country, you can buy it from a pharmacy.

When asked what it was doing in the house, my wife claimed to have "no idea" and attacked me for clearing up the medicine cupboard.

Seems to me that's quite an important thing to buy and then forget about entirely. It's also quite interesting that her immediate reaction was to try and put me on the defensive.

Other notes:

  • The label on it came from an online pharmacy we'd never normally use. I just tried their website; you physically cannot order it without answering a number of questions first. She cannot possibly have added it to the shopping cart by accidentally clicking on the wrong thing.

  • This pharmacy (at least now; the label is from 2015 so who knows what they sold then) doesn't really sell anything else she might need to buy. Seems they specialise in things you can legally buy over the counter but might be embarrassed to - think erectile dysfunction, female facial hair, that sort of stuff.

  • She hadn't taken the pill - and besides, they're very clear that buying it by post is a bad idea if you need it right away because you have to take it ASAP after sex.

I'm racking my brains for an explanation that isn't "she is or was having rough monkey sex with someone else and wanted to be extra doubly sure she didn't become pregnant".