I'm seeing some success with Wife on the sex front, but it seems all in her frame.
I'm still fucking things up.
This past Tuesday I brought Wife home from dinner and overcame her light objection by walking her backwards down to the bed. Had the best time together in months, really good. The G-spot is real y'all.
Afterward she mentioned waiting 24 hours before the next round, she was kind of sore. Otherwise she was good to go and I was looking forward of course to the next time. I feel like a wolf nowadays.
Every day this week she's had some emotional turmoil towards me, and my frame held pretty well. Isn't that supposed to increase attraction?
- Wednesday out of left field she wanted to drive me, or me drive her car, instead of our 100% normal I drive us in my car. I nicely told her I wasn't changing the norm and she went by herself. IDGAF.
- Thursday I fucked up, got carried away and texted her pics of nurses outfits I wanted her to wear. I know - logistics only. She reacted indignantly by saying "You completely ignore what I said the other night (other night=Tuesday=great sex): "Every time I ask to take it slow to build back my confidence within 24 hours you are taking things super fast" and "I'm not a circus act". I initiated later with strong kino and was shut down.
- Friday night I go to first dance lesson (Salsa, Rumba, Swing), without her. I came back feeling great and she was expressing some dread. I initiated in a strong manner, in my mind conveying "I'm your man and I really want to fuck you now" but she shut that shit down hard.
- Today laying on the bed after work, giving her :15 minutes to talk, I put my hand on her hip up her shorts. She squirmed away. When time was up I pushed her against the door and slid my hand up her thigh to her pussy and she said "Oh geez, here we go again. I DON'T want you to grope me. I don't like it and NEVER have".
We're going down in flames now.
- Important info: my low sex drive over the last 3 years slowly dragged hers down to near zero. In addition to harboring resentment toward my porn and fapping during that time, she also says she feels she cannot compete with those images. She's showing signs of low self esteem. She wants to please me, but can't bring herself to please me. She's also expressed that she'll never be the woman for me, regardless of my reassurances at this point.
She seems genuinely unhappy with my manly, strong initiation methods - as in loud and clear + body language.
Maybe I'm initiating like a retard? Tips and tricks please.
What exactly looks like a hard-no to you? How do you decide when to push on and when to eject?
I should test it - ignore her words, pick her up, carry her to the bed and check her reaction.
Should I test different initiation methods and see what gets the panties off? If so I need ideas and variety suggestions.
On the one hand I don't like the idea of calibrating; that puts me in her frame and her control. On the other hand, she's not responding well to my high test advances unless she's bluffing the shit out of me and really wishing I'd ignore her and carry her to the bed.