Where do you guys find the motivation, or better yet the discipline to keep going when you're fucking exhausted?

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TrenGod37
September 8, 2017
9 upvotes
askMRP

I know there's probably no easy answer to this other than just fucking do it. But maybe some of you have some tips. I went from being the laziest piece of shit. To now owning my shit and literally I need at least 2 more hours in a day to get everything I need done and sleep enough to function the next day.

I work a m-f full time job. Run a side business that's takes up a lot of my time. Have an LTR. Lift 5 days a week for 1.5 hours a day. Meal prep. Clean my place. Fix my place. Do my laundry all the other shit that consist of being a man. My Ltr def helps a lot with chores and cooking but she has a lot of free time at the moment which will change soon.

The way my hours are right now they blow I'm trying to find something with better hours. I'm 11a-730p. Then side business after till about 930-10. Then gym 10-1130. Then eat. Cook. Clean. Shower. Gf time. Then sleep at like 3am then up again at 8-9. This past week I've had to work 6a-730p. And nothing else has changed so I'm getting like 3 hours of sleep a night. And my days all feel rushed.

My gf doesn't see me much so I try to make weekends for us and a lot to catch up on the side business. Bc of this man time with the boys has been rare. I'm swamped. And it's been fine for the first couple months but man is it all starting to catch up to me. I'm practically falling asleep at work. When I get home I just want to sleep. But I don't have time. I feel like it's become all work and no play. No rest. No relaxation. Just grinding. I was fueled by it all at first but now the fire is starting to die down. And shit keeps on adding up on the to do list. I want to continue the grind but my body literally is fucking exhausted. Then little shit like (we just moved) and I have some things to unpack has been getting put off still need to clean out and sell the old place. I know my LTR is looking at the boxes like "are you going to do this shit already" but my body is like bro. Lay the fuck down. But if I get a second to lay the gf is like. Let's do something. I'm bored. (Fuck I need to lead. Here we go) I'm falling asleep during movies we watch. My body doesn't even think about sex as much as it used to bc it just wants sleep. I've been sucking it the fuck up. This is actually the first I even talked about it. But man is it getting to me. And I don't even have kids yet! Christ. How the fuck do you guys do it? Any advice?


Post Information
Title Where do you guys find the motivation, or better yet the discipline to keep going when you're fucking exhausted?
Author TrenGod37
Upvotes 9
Comments 30
Date 08 September 2017 03:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205509
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6yvm8o/where_do_you_guys_find_the_motivation_or_better/
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long term relationshiplift
Comments

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

If this is a short term thing, you should grind it out. If there's no forseeable end in sight and you can't maintain the pace, you need to take a hard look at what you do and triage. Something has to go.

[–]TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea you're right. I'd honestly say the LTR has to go if anything. Not that I want it to it's just everything is important to me right now. Problem is we just signed a year lease together. And things are really good between us. Guess I'll have to pick something else to go.

[–]SgtSilverBack4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What is an hour or two worth to you?

If that is time you could invest in your side business and the cost of cleaning or paying someone else to fix shit is less than that. Pay THEM because your time is more valuable.

Look for ways to be more efficient in your planning. If you are waiting on something use that time to do something else that you need to get done. I always put my laundry in the washer and delay start so it's done when I get home. Throw it in the dryer while I get dinner ready. Have everyone fold so my kids can learn to own their shit.

Look for what you can do away with, while similar to above, it may involve getting rid of activities. If you decide your side business isn't meeting the value of your time, drop it and start a different one that is.

Last but most important, deal with it. If you ever have kids it will get worse. Most of us have learned to be the most efficient we can and deal with things that just can't get addressed yet.

I travel over 65% of the year, just went back to school for my bachelor's degree, am in the military guard which I travel for frequently, I'm a father of three a husband/bf to my wife, take care of the cars, the house, groceries, cleaning. Those are all things I CHOSE, and will not fail at even if it means I'm up till 2 writing a paper and up at 6 to get kids ready. Meanwhile I'm 50lbs from my 500lb squat.

Be a the MAN that can do it all, even if it means delegating with your money.

[–]TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's actually a great idea that for some reason I haven't thought of. I could actually pay someone to do some of the bitch work on my side business that would clear up a lot of time. I think I have got so absorbed in making money. That I'm afraid to spend anywhere I don't have to. I liked this response thank you

[–]SgtSilverBack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit, man. We all do it. It is extremely hard for me to pay someone else to do something I am capable of, especially if it means I get to teach my kids how to be responsible. And some of them I truly enjoy. I love fixing and DIY shit at the house. Sweating my ass off covered in saw dust, smell of poly. And a finished "whatthefuckever" the family can use.

But, we are MEN. That means knowing your limits or strategically pushing them. If 2 out of 3 things are important, find a way to get number three off your plate in a manner most time efficient for you.

Honestly, this is where my FO rocks. She is ADD but if I put her on some task it will get handled.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have to take a 10-15 minute nap at lunch in the car most weekdays.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So much this. Lifting at 6am you get a little tired in the pm. I pack a lunch so after I eat I power nap in the car.

My car has two presets for the drivers seat. One is set for my driving position, the other for my napping. Set an alarm. Even if you dont sleep the zen time calms and reenergizes me.

[–]TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been sneaking away to do that also. Not sure if it helps or makes things worst

[–]BiggestBoop2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

First of all, take a breath. Stressing about how stressed and over-worked you are is gonna make things worse.

A couple things:

  1. What workout program are you doing that's 5x/week and 1.5hr sessions? Would you be able to attain your fitness/aesthetic goals on a 3-day full body plan? Or a 4-day program like PHUL or PHAT?

  2. If my girlfriend told me she was bored, I'd just laugh and say "me too, entertain me" in a flirty way. She can entertain the both of us by giving me head.

  3. You said your girlfriend lives with you and has free time. Why is she eyeing boxes resentfully instead of putting stuff away?

[–]TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

  1. Possibly. I'll have to look into a different routine. I run gear so that why I lift so much so often

  2. Aren't I supposed to be leading here. Not her?

  3. Honestly she did almost all of the packing and a lot of the moving into our new place since she knew I was busy. I barely did much when it came to that. So she prob feels she has done enough and I can unpack my own stuff. Which she's right but of course I will never get credit I deserve for all the other effects I do that I'm just expected to do

[–]BiggestBoop0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Ah, okay. I've never been on gear, so I wouldn't know. Could your cycle be interfering with your sleep quality? That might also be a factor. But 5 hours is not enough, in general. Can you move your workout session to in between your regular work hours and side business hours?
  2. Telling her to entertain you is leading. You should be planning things once in a while, but you don't need to all the time. You choose when you do or don't.
  3. You don't deserve any "credit" for doing the things you do. It's your house, organize it. They're your meals, cook them. They're your responsibilities, own them. Have you read NMMNG? It sounds like you're making a covert contract here.

[–]TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep I've read it twice. For number 3 I was just saying that's why she's not putting it away herself. She expects me to bc she did most of the other stuff. I'll just get to it when I can i guess

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Leading and doing are not the same thing

[–]RingoLaBrea1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're not getting proper sleep, and that's going to fuck with your gains, with everything in fact. Get sleep.

Try a day of rest in between workouts, for a while.

If your weekends are less hectic, cook yourself some food you can just heat-up during the week, or cook on your rest days. You've got to optimize the time you spend on each activity.

But, get sleep.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

If you're going to fall asleep in my class, stand at the back. If you fall asleep standing, then I'll let you rack out. For a good chunk of my 20s, half my year was spent like this:

When we sail, it's 7 on 7 off, 5 on 5 off. Cleaning stations on the long off-watch. We got a fireEX after, and you fit your workouts on your shot off-watch. 3 hours sleep here, 3 hours there. Oh wait, someone complained about being bored, ]so we have a ship wide action-station](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZhGx3AREcw), because the coxn is a sadist. Stokers still getting drunk on their super mids watches? Of course they are, I just want to enjoy this coffee before watch, not sit in a pub.

Fuck, Nancy didn't do any of the message traffic, and passed it offf on the mids watches. I haven't seen daylight in 4 weeks. We get into San Diego tomorrow, so I get started off no sleep for the past month, but I'll probably burn the candle at both ends anyways, because I'm stressed as fuck. My shins hurt like a bitch, that non skid is hard on them when I sprint on the flight deck, I've almost fallen off the side twice today. My MS is a lazy fuck, spends his time 'acclimatizing' for his boarding party cert, so I gotta step up and handle his job. The femenist on my watch constantly fights with the clearance diver-to-be who loves anal sex with 18 year olds, so they tend to slack as well, when they aren't getting chewed out by the P2, pissed he isn't allowed to drink and watch TV while on watch.

How did I do it? I didn't have a choice. I buckled down and did what I had to do. Some of the co workers on the other watch were equally over worked. This one guy, Webber was a fucking cuck.... literally. His wife tried to fuck me on her stagette, and he came over the next day to pick up her clothes. She would drag him out for couples nights, and he had to sit back and take photos of buddy railing his wife. Know what he did on his scant free time? He bought all our satellite phone minutes, constantly talking to her on the phone, and stayed in the shack, while we went out and enjoyed the world.

He gave up the experience of circumnavigating the globe, to a shitty moneysink that couldn't keep a dime between her knees if you begged her to.

My question is, do you want to be a Webber, or do you want to have a mission?

Also, fun fact, 0:06 to 0:10, I'm the guy about to fire the 50 cal

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

seems like the common theme is

do it coz you got to.

too bad kids dont got to

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

The two lessons I've taken

  1. We are capable of stuff we don't think we are capable of
  2. choice overload is a bitch

And kids do what they are told to do. Even when I was 13, I was in the fields raking hay 12 hours a day during the fall. I'll tell the story how I ran myself over with a tractor one day

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Sounds like the one about me working while wearing a banana bag

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

you mean you normally dont?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

What do you think a banana bag is ??

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

a bag you fill with bananas

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

well... no.

so for everyone's reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_bag

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Oh, hangover cure. Our baby doctor used to hide in the ball room and nurse hangovers with these

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are great for when you still have to think

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's good that you've got many aspects of your life dialed in. I'd recommend just living your life like you're going to die next year. What would you do then? How many hours a day would you put toward the people in your life? What bullshit would you stop putting up with? Where would you go? What new things would you learn?

[–]straius1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Avoid burnout, re-prioritize as necessary to prevent burnout. If you hit that point, you're going to backslide way farther than if you let a couple things slide in favor of long term mental and physical fitness.

Only you can determine what the right mix of priorities are, but if that means that you workout 3 days a week instead and cycle resting days in so that you can keep your long term pace up, you will be at a net gain.

Other than that, the amount of work you can handle and motivation to push through is partly informed by your personality and partly informed by habit. I would weight the habit as the more important and powerful of the two.

If everything is a priority. Nothing is a priority.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Work on your priorities. We all have the same amount of time per day, and you're doing a good job of filling it with stuff. Maybe too much stuff? There's nothing wrong with rest and relaxation. In fact, I'd say it's necessary and critical to keeping productive and avoiding burnout. Think longer term. This isn't sustainable and you know it, so scale back and make it sustainable. Otherwise you burn out and set yourself back in unhealthy ways.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I work a 12 hr shift Mon-Fri every week. So I understand. You've got too much on your plate. Something has to go. Can you afford to hire someone to cook and clean? That would help.

Think of it like a fruit tree. Fruit trees have to be pruned in order to produce big, healthy fruit. Your life needs to be pruned as well. The "branches" in your life that are not producing fruit need to be pruned/eliminated, so the rest of your life can bear fruit. What is the thing that no longer produces fruit (satisfaction, joy or a benefit of some kind) in your life? Eliminate or outsource it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you can take a look at the efficiencies of what you are doing. I do my lifting during lunch, and usually just have a bag of jerky or a shake before or after. As an example of where to get an hour back.



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