Once you swallowed TRP, what were you most angry about?

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September 4, 2017

Once you swallowed TRP, what were you most angry about?

My anger and anguish has been directed toward myself in two main areas; I'm still processing waves of disgust.

  • White Knight betabux faggot behavior in my first marriage to a high conflict woman

  • continuing blue pill faggot ways into my current marriage to an awesome woman

Pro-tip: Blue pill behavior doesn't work with any kind of woman.

First marriage I could not figure out for the life of me why providing, protecting, and being faithful didn't yield the expected Disney results. I raised her two kids from another man, lifted her out of poverty, and was faithful even when propositioned by a good looking high school fuck buddy. I don't think any man on this sub could've tamed this wild ass of a woman, but with TRP knowledge I could've done so much better.

Current marriage The one thing I did right coming out of the bad marriage was to be in good shape. That helped me land a woman 8 years younger and +1 SMV. She is easy on the eyes, sweet natured, and was down to fuck at the drop of a hat. My beta ways were complacent, tons of covert contracts, and low sex drive. Goddamn I'm angry what at this point with "TRP Man"® would be a D/s relationship is now a minor shit show that I'm racing to salvage. I know that it's just my turn with her (boy do I know that), and she's not the only one for me, but damn she's worth keeping if I can get my shit together and bring her along for the ride.

Post Information
Title Once you swallowed TRP, what were you most angry about?
Author Nec_sorte_Nec_fato
Upvotes 9
Comments 51
Date 04 September 2017 11:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205530
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6xzpjo/once_you_swallowed_trp_what_were_you_most_angry/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betadown to fucksexual market valuewhite knightthe red pillthe blue pill

[–]BobbyPeru8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was more angry at myself for becoming a pussy. Then, for a long time I wondered if she cheated on me because I was so BP, and that thought made me angry. Then, I started to not care and just focus on the present and future MAP.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm 55yo.

Lost time.

Still pissed about it, and it tends to come out in my responses to posts who just complain and whine, like I used to.

Sort of hits a nerve...

[–]sh0ckley1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lost time.


[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

When I figured out logically the reason for all the sexual denials. That my wife derived more pleasure from seeing the hurt and pain and knowing she was the cause than she would ever get from the pleasure of a sex. It took a long time to throw off the blue pill conditioning and realize that women are motivated not by pleasure but by power. Therefore the way to get them to fuck is to take away their pussy power- first by not caring, second by building yourself in your own mind as a man with options, third by showing her that you actually do have options and ultimately by exercising those options.

Even now it pisses me off. That was not the deal when we married but it is more than just the bait and switch. It cuts to the heart of awalt and literally destroys that fucking blue pill dream.

[–]dieseltech19822 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. 100%. I even knew it before I found MRP, but internalizing it.

[–]natedog28280 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think loosing the blue pill dream has been one of the hardest for me. Knowing the hard work that will always have to be done to have a happy, long, sex filled marriage with passion is frustrating. But It's the hard, that makes it great!

[–]BirdManBrrrr6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Once past realizing what of myself I need to fix I'm still irritated NOBODY through my entire life taught me 1. How to function as a man and 2. How to effectively deal with women both in and outside a relationship. Better late than never finding MRP, but this would have saved me a lot of time, money, and trouble knowing all this at an earlier age.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

This right here is me.

And I'm telling my boys, all 5 of them, as often as I can...

Don't get married, unless and until....

The one thought that carries me through is...

What if I had died this way and the gynocracy enslaved 5 more because of me?

This shit, in my bloodline, stops right fucking here.

This isn't a line in the sand..

It's the fucking Grand Canyon of MRP between us and the feminine imperative.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Same here. My sons have been taught the truth since I learned it. I am 48 and pissed that I found it so late, but glad that I did find it. Thank God for this place.

Also not happy to learn it's all my fault, but glad to have the knowledge and wisdom to change it.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

For me, finding out it was all my fault was a bonus.

That means it is also 100% within my ability to fix my shit.

[–]thunderbeyond1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very well put.

[–]BirdManBrrrr3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me, finding out it was all my fault was a bonus. That means it is also 100% within my ability to fix my shit.

This is extremely difficult to accept but utterly liberating once I internalized it, especially within the marriage. Execution is still tough...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lost time, late in life and only so much time left.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

The wasted time

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Still pissed how easy it was to turn that ship around and all the sex i missed out on with the wife.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That I hadn't discovered it 10 years ago.

[–]drty_prRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That it's what I knew all along, but thought I was a "bad" guy for thinking it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is big too. Seeing exactly how the chads got the girls, knowing I could do that, but thinking it's somehow superior to be "a good boy".

[–]state57002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me putting up with her weight gain and her dowdy clothing, and not pushing my desire for sex because I "wanted" to be "considerate" of her when she was tired, not interested, thinking about the kids, etc.

[–]Alphaphux3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That I didn't discover this in my teans. Something my son won't have to lament

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Once you digest the pill, it shouldn't be anger, but more disappointment. For me it was the lost time. I'm 46 and so close to final divorce. The upside is my new GF is about 15yrs younger, attractive and a tight body. Sometimes I can't be certain if I've got ED or if guys my age just can't do sustained, daily, morning and night sex.

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Twice a day sounds like a great problem to have - that's a lot of sex. I take it you're in excellent shape?

I'm 48 and glad I found TRP/MRP; I think I've got 20 great years in front of me.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You do.

I read a great book awhile back,

"Younger Next Year."

It's all in the mind and how that manifests itself through the body.

Take care of both and you should be looking at 20+ GREAT years ahead of you

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll put "Younger Next Year" on my reading list, thanks for the enthusiastic outlook.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So many guys your age think they might have 'age-related' ED.

It usually isn't. All your shit should be working well. Morning wood and sex twice a day are well within your limits. If you are struggling in any way with that it is almost always addressed by,

Eliminate tobacco use.

Limit alcohol 2-3 drinks a week.

Clean up your diet. Meat, vegetables, fruits, nuts, oats. Eat as many foods as possible with just one ingrediate; beef, banana, carrot, apple, almonds, etc.

ED is almost always vascular when it's a physical problem.

What's going on in your dick is often a reflection of what's going on in your heart.

Pay attention.

[–]Spacemunky780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And get your test levels checked! I'm 39 and never thought I had low T. Got my shit checked, it was low and started TRT. That shit is the fountain of youth!!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The way society believes its own lies.

I fucking LOATHE the society we live in and how many men are still deluded by blue pill thinking.

I seriously wonder if there is a man alive that "talked about his sexual frustrations" that ended up getting more sex? My money is on no.

[–]TurdDoctor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was mad after understanding that my commitment is the currency for access to her sex and how easily I gave up this currency. I was at a disadvantage by giving it up so easily which gave her control. Once I stopped caring so much about her sex, focusing on me, and started withdrawing my commitment (time and attention at this stage) the more the anger went away. The less I give a shit about her sex, the less power she has in the relationship. I'm still angry I gave her this power for so many years. Alot of us are older (I'm 46) and we regret the lost time.

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Powerful reminders, thx.

Once I stopped caring so much about her sex, focusing on me, and started withdrawing my commitment (time and attention at this stage) the more the anger went away. The less I give a shit about her sex, the less power she has in the relationship.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lost time.

Doing the right thing just to be left behind.

That the matrix is real.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lost time was a big one...but it's evened out by "so glad Ilearned this with so much time left".

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got over all of this pretty quickly, but a few things:

  1. Knowing that I'd done the best I could with the information that I had been given but that it was the wrong information, so I was sabotaged from the start.
  2. The same as #1 except for my dad having gone through a tremendous, several-decade shit show with my mom and knowing that he was also sabotaged from the start.

[–]meaningintragedy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that I didn't know about TRP stuff earlier. If I did I could have kept my almost-unicorn LTR. Since I didn't I ended disgusting her with my beta behavior.

[–]AustralianArm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was angry for becoming a schlub that just expected my wife would put out 'because that's what wives are supposed to do'. For an intelligent guy, I was incredibly dumb.

But my anger didn't last long when it hit me that the only way to go forward was to fix myself and concentrate on being happy for me. 8 months on, massive improvemernts have been made. Weight gone, strength up, life enjoyment up, interpersonal relationships are way better.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Get your shit together and quit the poor me. That will kill it

Me, I was so pissed off about her gatekeeping. Once I figured out "exactly" the cause and only though the sidebar, IDGAF truly set in and the anger just vanished

Stoic, take it or leave it, high value me is back

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is gatekeeping? Being the boss?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sex She decided to want to keep the schedule

My actions of the past twelve months of her actually feeling me being, stoic IDGAF, she tells me she "feels" the me she met 20 years ago is back

In a Shit show she decides to ask me if I'm sleeping around, I laughed, told her if I was, it was none of her business. Ya, none of her Fucking business

After 10 gallons of tears, she has decided to be lead again, grown her hair out, DTF, and many other things.

She has come to the realization, I don't "need" her. Nor care too "need" her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get your shit together and quit the poor me. That will kill it

Nice nutshell statement of ending the butt-hurt in order to rebuild.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

  • That I held the self limiting believe of thinking I cannot be 'That guy'.

  • I actively pursued being the opposite of Chad, even when girls tried to make me their Chad. I held strange believes.....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had set my mind up to be exactly what "beta's in waiting" describes.

that STILL gets to me.

[–]chachaChad0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm so angry that I ignored a million red flags. Fuck me. I was able to hamster away almost every red fucking flag in existence.

I'm angry at not standing up for myself and letting people tell me what to do and how to feel and letting people shame me into do things.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yo - are you fucking sloots yet?

[–]chachaChad0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Tried that for a little while. Didn't help me like I thought it would. Trying something else now (therapy and married red pill) and that's getting some results slowly.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But it's available isn't it? So the sex denying of your wife is a choice of your own doing. Live with the consequences of individual choice.

[–]chachaChad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get that. I am but at least now I'm aware of it.

In the past when I've done that, I end up angrier at the wife. It's acting out because I'm not facing my real problem. I've decided to face my real problem. Either improve the relationship with the wife or move on.

[–]natedog28280 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't say I'm angry about this, but seeing all my male friends and family still plugged in. I want to free them all, but that's not my journey.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing - nothing at all. We are all the product of our experiences, good and bad. OYS is also about owning one's past. I can't change the past so there's no sense being angry about it.

[–]nexttin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At the time, waking up in my marriage and realizing it was my fault that it was going awry. But, far more importantly, it was my fault that I willfully ignored Cluster B warning signs and got sucked deep into her frame, hook, line and sinker...before ever getting married.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Excerpt from a upcoming field report:

"The problem was, I was angry. I was about 80% angry at myself, and about 20% angry about how the world works. I was mostly angry at myself. How the fuck did I let this happen. How the FUCK did I let this HAPPEN!!!

There was so much shit that I was doing wrong. I was 35 lbs. over weight. I was deferring to my wife way too much – so much so that at times she was taking a captain role. Nothing what I was doing was attractive. I didn’t used to be like this. What the hell!"

And honestly, now that I think about it, I'm not quite sure of the root cause either. It's easy to blame the Female Imperative (tm), however it's harder to shine the spotlight at yourself.

I'm well past the anger stage (quite a few months into my own unplugging). It's just a sunk cost, and I used the anger constructively.

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the heads up, looks like you are doing some introspection. Dig deep and put it out there - a crowd like this is going to find every weakness in your thinking.

[–]voneger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lost time is the one that pops most often but it helps to frame it as a learning curve that couldn't be avoided.

The deeper wound was digesting and integrating that idealistic love and unconditional trust are fables in a relationship.

Idealistic love: Being loved for what you are as long as you push yourself to be the best you can. Realistic love is opportunistic, hypergamous competition where being "loved" just means you're the best option around.

See, what hurt isn't that I miss receiving the demonstrations of love. I "perform" well enough that I get plenty. But it's just a rating put on the outcomes of my actions. Thumbs up, thumb down.

I'm a father, so I know first hand what love can be as a bond, and accepting no woman will ever love me (or any other men really) like this still feels like a loss.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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