Getting sick of the bad attitude will this change over time?

anythinginc · 2017-08-31T19:26:24+00:00

Everything Is good besides the little stupid shit she wants to make an issue of.

To some extent, this never stops, and you don't want it to, it means she doesn't care or have the emotional energy to invest in you. Obviously big or serious things need to be addressed, but when it is truly stupid little shit, have fun.

What changes is that it no longer negatively affects you, and you see it as an opportunity to play with her and tease her, emotional waves to ride on, opportunities to banter and have fun. Once you're better at AA/AM/cocky-funny, and have the value/attractiveness, or are at least liked, and can pull it off you'll see.

why you change your phone wall-paper?

uh, football season, duh.

I don't kno....

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOOOOOOOT

...why you think that

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

are you done?

football? Yeah, come get some.

I would have tackled her somewhere in there. Given her a kiss, said she is so pretty, and went back to what I was doing. If she still made it an issue I would say I don't like that pic of her anymore and we need to take another one of her "bending over in a thong" as I tried to get her pants off. If it was STILL an issue I'd immediately take a selfie with us both in it, say "fixed, done" but when I made it my wallpaper I'd make sure she was like half cropped out of it off the edge of the screen, then wait for her to notice; Trolling 101.

You think you're getting bitched at, I think I'm getting asked to play. Now, if she is bitching about forgetting toilet paper and now you're out, then shut the fuck up and head out the door to the store, problem solved.

In another light, she's not giving you the silent treatment because you changed your wallpaper, she's giving you the silent treatment because you took her seriously and left her frustrated instead of giving her the emotional release and attention she wanted.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-08-31T19:40:35+00:00

Is it unrealistic to think I'll find a woman who doesn't nag?

Yes.

We say it all the time because it is true: Don't change her to be better. YOU be better.

We also quote Morpheus and Neo a lot:

Neo: Are you saying I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: I am saying that when your ready, you won't have to.

Right now you just unplugged and now you see the bullets (her nagging shit tests) flying at you. We are NOT going to show you how to stop the bullets. We are going to show you they are NOT really bullets.

RPWolf · 2017-08-31T18:52:06+00:00

Why let it bother you at all? You cannot control her emotions.

She is doing it because thats what worked in the past. She will ramp it up the more you change simply because thats her go to and it worked before so her thought is if I do more and harder it should work again.

Will she change, I dont know but when you get to a place wher you dont give a fuck then it won't matter. Go do something else and let her hamster it out.

cholomite · 2017-08-31T19:19:04+00:00

Every woman will nag a man who responds to nagging. This post is proof that her nagging gets to you. You care way too much about what she thinks and she doesn't like it. You need to become comfortable pissing her off and playing with her while she's pissed off.

rocknrollchuck · 2017-08-31T22:43:49+00:00

From "The Way of the Superior Man":

Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier

A woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.

She wants to feel you are uncollapsable, so she pokes you in your weak spot. Of course she knows how much this moment of success means to you. This is precisely why she is negating it. Not because she wants to hurt you. But because she wants to feel Shiva. She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars. She wants to feel you are a superior man.

It's a tall order to be this free, and in your more mediocre moments you will wish your woman would settle for less. But if you are a man who is living his fullest, willing to play his edge and grow through difficulties, then you will want her to test you. You may not like it. But you don't want her to settle for some bozo who depends on his woman's response to be happy. If you are aligned with your mission, you are essentially happy, even though times cycle between difficult and easy. You don't need your woman's strokes to fulfill your mission. It still feels good when she strokes you, but you don't need mommy anymore, telling you what a good boy you are. And your woman doesn't want you to need mommy. In fact, it sickens her.

So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you've flunked the test. You have let your woman deflate you. You have demonstrated your dependence on her for external validation. Even if you just made a million dollars, you are a weak man. Your woman cannot trust you fully. If you remain full and strong, humorous and happy, your truth unperturbed by her testing, then you pass the test.

This is the kind of man your woman can trust. Now, the moment is a moment of celebration. Now, she can relax and truly join in your jubilation, knowing you are not dependent on her praise for your happiness. It will last, perhaps, ten minutes. And then she will test you again.

It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining— especially when she is complaining. Her complaint is the beginning of her pleasure. It is not true criticism, but a test of your Shiva-hood. The criticism is entirely dissolved in love as soon as she feels your humor and happiness in the midst of the poke.

It never ends. This is the secret. You can't get out of it. Finding a different woman won't get you out of it. Therapy won't get you out of it. Financial or sexual mastery won't get you out of it. Your woman is testing you because she loves you. She wants to feel your truth. She wants to feel your love. And she wants to feel that your truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you. Then she can relax and surrender into the polarity of man and woman. Then she can trust you.

The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won't settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she's quite good at it.

Yet, if your purpose is to be free, you wouldn't have it any other way.

[deleted] · 2017-08-31T19:21:45+00:00

When she's upset over something this stupid, don't ignore it. Relish the opportunity to make fun of her.

Keep bringing it up to piss her off more, rub her nose in it, until she sees how absurd she's being. She'll get the hint that her mood swings don't affect you, only that they make you realize how pathetic and immature she is.

If you act like everything is fine, she might just escalate her shitty attitude. Act like she's a fool, and she'll soon feel embarrassed. Will she snap out of it? Who knows. But definitely don't avoid her or walk on eggshells like you're scare of her when she acts this way.

For example:

Let's say she does something similarly trivial, like changing the channel on the tv. Mock her and act like she did:

Gasp! Oh my god, why did you change that channel? That was OUR channel...it was our special thing, and you just replaced it for something that isn't about us!!

People usually continue acting stupid because nobody has the balls to call them stupid. Make her feel stupid, and she just might stop acting stupid.

Them's my thoughts.

Cock_Klepto · 2017-08-31T22:42:43+00:00

Women are/can be massive hoarders. She has a mountain of examples stored in her brain about all the shitty things you've done or that have hurt her(and you don't even have to be the one that caused the pain). Each time something happens that she perceives as a slight, she has to visit that same mountain of past wrongdoings/pain. In that moment she is confronted by all these instances and "proof" of a perceived lack of love/affection/respect/whatever, and so when you're viewed in that light, regardless of if it's true, she'll act a certain way. The drama is catharsis. It can also be a sign that there isn't enough perceived good happening to her so not enough distractions away from the shit hill.

In my experience we also hoard good stuff too, but depending on how big the shit mountain is, anything else can be hard to find or see. There may have also been a time between you two where she tried to bring good things/times/memories up but got beat down or ignored, so she learned that it wasn't worth the effort to relive with you. Cue her only focusing on shitty things and minimizing any of the good.

Downhere_Seeds · 2017-08-31T19:38:15+00:00

Does it get better? If you are improving, you will get better. If she's not improving she will not. For Agree and Amplify you should change the photo to a dick pic and see what she thinks.

2ndal · 2017-08-31T19:43:19+00:00

The only way it stops is that you stop caring.

Try reading The Way of the Superior Man. Embrace her femininity--all of it, even the "annoying" stuff. See it, know it, feel it, but rise above it. Appreciate it even.

FlyingSexistPig · 2017-08-31T23:00:21+00:00

I have a GF who's sometimes in a bad mood. She'll come into the room I'm in, then stomp out again. I'll ask her how she's doing (I'm paying attention to my computer), and she'll say, "fine". Then she'll ask me about something to try to get me pissed. All very passive aggressive.

So I'll get to a stopping point with what I'm doing, and get up and follow her around. I'll stomp after her, come into the room that she's in, sigh heavily, and then leave. When she asks me what I'm doing, I'll say, "fine", then giggle about it.

Ask her who peed in her Cheerios. Tell her that if she could throw a spiral like (quarterback of team), then maybe she could earn a spot on the front page. When she huffs about that, tell her that if she can't master the spiral, maybe there's something creative she could come up with. Make it a game, keep it light. Be totally outcome independent in your own mind.

atlhart · 2017-08-31T19:26:09+00:00

You need to sidebar a lot more. It's fucking disrespectful to yourself to come in here and ask questions that can be answered by reading the sidebar material.

It means you're being a lazy fuck, and you deserve better than that.

Go read the sidebar material and then come back and answer this for yourself.

Title	Getting sick of the bad attitude will this change over time?
Author	kryptoknight12
Upvotes	6
Comments	31
Date	August 31, 2017 6:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6x8tdb/getting_sick_of_the_bad_attitude_will_this_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/getting-sick-of-the-bad-attitude-will-this-change.205554 https://theredarchive.com/post/205554