What to do if SHE has a higher sex drive than YOU?

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August 28, 2017

The title is basically the entire point.

My LTR has a super high sex drive. She's down to have basically non-stop sex every time we see each other.

This was fun at first but it's honestly getting annoying. I'd probably prefer to have sex about 5 times a week, and sometimes just a quickie. Not a marathon sex session.

I have had my hormone levels checked, they are all normal. My health is fine.

I realize this is a "good problem" to have (and I'd rather deal with this than a sexless relationship) but it's a problem nonetheless. When I can tell she wants sex, I feel like I'm being a bad leader if I don't initiate or reciprocate her advances. I feel like my role is to be hornier than she is.

How can I get the fuck over my feelings about this? And how can I reject her properly?

I get freaked out thinking that if I reject her too often she'll want to get it elsewhere.

Post Information
Title What to do if SHE has a higher sex drive than YOU?
Author BiggestBoop
Upvotes 14
Comments 39
Date 28 August 2017 07:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205594
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6whui2/what_to_do_if_she_has_a_higher_sex_drive_than_you/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–]Rotten_Red13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Marry her, that will kill her sex drive. At least her desire to fuck you.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously the solution is wedding cake!

[–]WesternhagenWinner8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she live with you? If so, then it's only a matter of time before that high libido goes away. Probably two years, tops. If she doesn't live with you, move her in and your "problem" will soon be a different one.

[–]SgtSilverBack5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Learn how far you can push hey mentally.

Use fingers, toys, mouth and words to drive her fucking nuts. Then control her orgasms, dominate her to the point you won't let her cum until you say. Then even though she is in a perpetual state of arousal, you can choose when to give her your cock.

You can get her to a point where she pretty much had something in her 24 hrs a day. A true D/s relationship would rock her world.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

you need to codify this if you are able . most guys here are not even getting laid

[–]SgtSilverBack2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll do a new post so it doesn't get lost in this one.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that would be better thanks

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would try to make your rejections into a little game. Make it fun somehow.

For ex: she tries to initiate but you aren't in the mood:

"What have you done to earn my dick today?"

Her: 😳

"You didn't wake me up with a blow job. You didn't wear the butt plug while grocery shopping. You didn't earn it today. Maybe tomorrow you'll do better".

I think this type of rejection would drive her crazy (in a good way) and make the rejection more "fun" for her. It also adds some dominance which bitches love and also puts the blame on her for not being "a good girl" instead of you just not being in the mood. Just my take on it. Good luck and congrats on the sex.

[–]BiggestBoop[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is really great advice, thanks. Definitely something she'd be into and it actually helps with my problem unlike some of the other responses here.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

How good are your hands? How's your mouth?

When you do fuck, do your best to make her too sore to walk, buy you a few days to recover.

Tons of ways around this. Also, encourage her to step up girl game. We are visual creatures, just showing up and pointing to her vagina saying 'go getum' isn't going to work for twice daily sex.

[–]BiggestBoop[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How can I encourage her to step up her girl game?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her what you like, encourage her when she does more than lay on her back.

Theres that 'inner slut' article from TFA. i haven't read it, but others seem to like it

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't understand the problem?

[–]BiggestBoop[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh, come on.

I have things in my life that are more important than having sex all the time. My own goals and aspirations take precedence over her satisfying her insanely high sex drive.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then take care of those first. It's not rocket science. Sounds like it will be easy to keep her on the right side of Rollo's cardinal rule.

[–]Red-Curious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As /u/sekerzitski noted, up the price. Right now she highly values sex with you and can get it dirt cheap. Make her work harder for it and as effort increases, quantity will decrease - but because quality goes up at the same time, she stays hooked on you and not some other dude. Plus, by shifting/insisting from low-quality to a high-quality sex life, that's a DHV, so she's going to be more motivated not to screw it up.

Another user suggested being more beta. This isn't a terrible idea, and I had a similar thought, but proceed with caution. If you take that route and it lowers her libido to where you want it, fine (I still think it's a mistake, but you can do that if you want). The added beta will increase her comfort level and decrease attraction, so she should ideally be more motivated toward longevity in the relationship. That said, monitor this extremely closely because if you drop her attraction to you and her libido doesn't change then she's going to start looking elsewhere, even in the face of the increased beta comforts. That's not a risk I would gamble with, personally, but if you know her extremely well and can read her flawlessly, then it might be a valid option.

[–]Seraph_250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are a man tell her NO

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

It sounds like your relationship is pretty fresh. Things will likely slow down with time, which will be good. If you're lucky eventually you'll get right into your comfort zone.

UNLESS she has a sex addiction, which (although it sounds fun for a while) can be a major cause for trouble in the future. i.e. your dick won't be enough.

[–]BiggestBoop[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

How would I know if she has a real sex addiction?

[–]alphabeta49Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's usually more of an addiction to validation, thrill, or control, not an addiction to the physical act of sex. Look up material from Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

In your case, could be possible. Based on your history, she's overly concerned with your approval of her in bed, or that you look upset when you're not upset. That spells drama, and with the little bit of information you're giving (assuming it's the most pertinent info), I'd guess she's got daddy issues. She doesn't have sex because she likes sex with you, she has sex because it makes her feel loved, in control, or worthy as a person. That can be dangerous if out of balance. Good luck.

[–]BiggestBoop[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for this in-depth response. I'll look into those sources about sex addiction.

I don't think she has daddy issues, per se. From what she's said, she had a great relationship with him, but he passed away from cancer when she was in high school.

I agree she has some insecurities in bed though. I'm much more experienced than she is and I think it makes her anxious. But I'm also the first/only person (other than herself) that's ever made her come (and I do every time we fuck), so I think it might also be her just enjoying that too.

[–]alphabeta49Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could go either way. Sex addiction or really insecure.

Best case scenario is she's this great person who happens to really love sex. Ya never know.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

IDK, check the internet

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her you have a headache . Seems to work against BP guys :-)

[–]devilkingx20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you have to quickly get to the bottom of why (imagine what will happen if she catches wind that you don't want to have sex with her, or thinks you can't satisfy her.)

do you just not like sex that much? if so, unless you start doing drugs like cocaine or ecstasy or getting testosterone injections or watch porn without masturbating all day so that you're ready to go all day every day, there's no way that issue will ever be fixed. (less stress and more free time will make you want more sex, if you can find a way to clear up your schedule)

do you just not like sex with HER that much? why is that? is she not attractive enough to warrant the effort? if so you need to get her to fix that without accidentally saying "you're fat and ugly and that makes me soft". or is the issue that you're getting bored of sex with her because it needs to be spiced up or you've got a thirst for new pussy?

assuming that there's nothing wrong with you (meaning it's not the medications you take, nor any mental issues you have, nor the stress of life, nor you being closeted gay/asexual)

and there's nothing wrong with her (her mental issues, her medications, her being a sex addict/nymphomaniac/out of control slut, her feeling guilty about cheating on you and trying to make up for it without telling you, etc.)

then I would say that you're probably just cursed with mismatched sex drives, and ideally you'll have to get her a collection of fancy sex toys for when you're not in the mood. assuming that she loves you and is generally the monogamous type she's not going to want to bring in other guys so you've got nothing to worry about on that front.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her harder. Fuck her so hard and beat up her vagina from time to time. That will buy you a couple of days to rest.

[–]SlatePill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Honestly I would do fucking everything possible to match her libido. That's nothing to do with RP or anything, just gut intuition. You can rest when you're dead.

[–]SlatePill6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]zeno_of_shitium-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why don't you have kids? That will put a spanner is the works (so to speak).

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try and keep up. I had a 2 plates who both had massive sex drives. One of them would not even let me sleep more than a few hours at a time before I would wake up with her sucking my dick. She was utterly insatiable. I just enjoyed it.

[–]chachaChad-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a case where Married Red Pill doesn’t have much to offer, I think. Perhaps using a basic principle of leading here could look like you having a conversation with her in which you talk about it directly with her. Approach it from a position of power and try not to be weak about it. Perhaps you two could work out collorative solution.

Wonder if she could be teased to wait. I.E. I want to fuck you so hard right after we finish this movie?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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