I just posted in another subreddit yesterday about my problem and really wasn't too happy about the responses. I don't know if there are rules about posting a link or can I just re-post to this subreddit.
The first link on the right was a real eye opener. I think I have found the correct subreddit. I'm gonna continue reading but I need help soon. Be as harsh as you need to be (from the looks of other posts, it looks like I don't have to say that).
Some things about me: Male, 45 yrs, lifting regularly for 3 years or so. Got some muscle but not ripped. About 10-15 lb over ideal weight (6'1", 195 lb). Good marriage (she is respectful and cooks and cleans). Once a week sex.
EDITED TO ADD ACTUAL PROBLEM BELOW:
Last weekend my wife of 20 years asked if we could do some kayaking and swimming. This surprised me, as she is not a fan of water sports at all. Other than that, she’s always active with walking, hiking, and biking. So I like water sports but don’t do much of it because we like to do stuff together when we can.
So on the way to renting the kayaks, she very casually mentions that in a 3 weeks she is taking the afternoon off of work to go on a 4 hour kayaking trip and wanted to practice. Her (female) friend from work asked her to go with her and two guys from a company they do business with. The idea is that since she and friend direct some business their way, this would be the way the guys could pay them back. Still she says she barely knows the guys (only talked on the phone). She said that the idea was that they would have two-person kayaks and that they would split up the guys and girls so that it would be easier to stay together because the guys are stronger paddlers. After the kayak trip, they would get changed and then go out for food (and drinks I’m sure). I didn’t say too much at this time as this really seemed strange to me.
So my wife and I went practice kayaking and she gained some confidence and we went home.
This really seems like a date to me and therefore inappropriate as hell. I talked to a good friend about it and he agreed with me but I suspect he told his wife who then told my wife because a few days later she told me the plans had changed and that she told the other girl that they would be riding together in their own kayak. I still didn’t say much.
This whole arrangement really bothers me. I don’t usually think about it during the day but I wake up most night thinking about this. Help me out here. I feel like I can’t talk to my good friend any more about this.
EDITED TO REMOVE SOME UNNECESSARY PERSONAL INFORMATION
tl;dr: Wife going on what seems to be a double date. Need help.