I'm 40 years old and in the last week I finally figured out I'm the nice guy that finishes last. Friend zoned many times growing up. Married ten years to a kind loving wife but she easily manipulates me and our dead bedroom is epic. Starfish sex every couple of months...we've gone a year without sex. Porn addiction has been a problem for me in the past thankfully I've been no fap/porn for 6 months now. Have ten month old boy/girl twins. I was lifting regularly for 8 months before my wife got pregnant. Stopped lifting because of pressure from my wife...wanted to take care of her and make her happy when she was sick and nesting. She resented any time away from her and would subtly show her disapproval...being weak I would fold and apologize almost instantly then rage on the inside while presenting a pleasant nice guy exterior. Recently took a long look at my life. Started reading and found this subreddit. Started lifting and eating better this week. Instead of asking my wife what she wants to do on my days off I planned a outing for the family and just told her when to be ready. I could see she was surprised because I'm usually so passive. We enjoyed our selves. I've initiated ten second kisses at least twice a day for the past week, she now expects them and although it seems a little forced its becoming a new normal. Not interested in living the rest of my life with the occasional peck. I know I have a long road ahead but I'm unplugged and can't go back. Shit tests have been popping up...here's one from this morning. My mother-in-law has a very unreliable friend and she wants these certain satin sheets ordered off eBay. My wife texted me near the end of a 14hr shift at work and asked if I would order them for this friend because I have a eBay account and use it all the time. This friend is older and doesn't know how to use eBay...my wife is smart however and if she wanted to she could figure it out. I don't want to order the sheets even though it would take no time at all because if this flake of a friend doesn't like them and wants to send them back I have to get involved with that whole process and I don't want to. (Even as I'm typing this I can see what a beta I am) So I ignore the text and since I'm at work that's not uncommon. This morning she asks me to order them again this time face to face. I say "That doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in." Wife says "okay" in a tone of voice that let's me know she's disappointed and thinks I'm being unreasonable. Then says nothing for a few minutes. My beta hamster goes into overdrive. Am I being a dick? Why don't I just take the few seconds to make the order then she's happy and I'm a nice guy? Is this a test or a reasonable request? Beta hamster wants to explain why I don't want to get involved in this woman's sheet purchase but I say nothing. I haven't read WISNIFG or NMMNG yet but they are next on the list. So after all that I'm thinking I should have been more playful. Maybe texted her back something like " I'd be much more interested in ordering you a satin teddy." That kind of text isn't something I've ever sent before and would be totally out of character for me. What do you guys think...suggestions?