Together for 5 yrs married for 3. We have a 17 month old daughter. No sex for the past 3 years although our sex life had been dwindling a even before the marriage. Introduced to mrp 2 years ago and started working on myself. Reading the sidebar, NMMNG, The Rational Male, MMSLP, WISNIFG. Re reading NMMNG at the moment. Gym 2-3 times a week, basketball with the boys every saturday morning then lunch and drinks in the afternoon. She is a shit test queen and starts giving me shit the moment I walk in the door. Even before I say hi to my daughter. Did you pick up the onion? What about dinner? Are you giving her a bath tonight?
She makes more money than I do and I try not to let that bother me. Especially because I quit my amazing job and travelled half the globe to be with her and start a family. However, I'm working on my career am making much money more every year but still less than her. I can't tell you how many rejections I've endured and I remember a while back just asking her why she keeps rejecting me and she said we needed to sort out a lot of other emotional and financial situations before we get to the sex part which made 0 sense to me. I'm 6f 5in and consider myself fairly attractive. I also get a lot of attention from women be it when I'm out or just going about my day to day activities. I don't pursue these women and I have not cheated yet but it has been crossing my mind a lot lately.
We were having coffee the other day and we somehow started talking about our shitshow marriage. She then goes into this whole thing about how we need space until we figure out what each of us wants from the marriage. I said okay and that if she thinks that's what we need then I'm fine with whatever.
I feel so stuck in her frame no matter what I do. When I ignore her shit test she piles them up to a point where it feels like she's almost a bully. And at some point I just break and show some frustration or irritability and once she has a whif of my frustration or anger then she backs off because she knows she has me exactly where she wants me. We watch way too much tv and that's because she has set that routine in the house. We feed the baby, bathe her, put her to sleep then immediately start staring at the screen. She basically is ruling the household with an iron fist. She becomes very rude and dismissive of any issue that I raise that has to do with sex or anythimg that requires us to work on our relationship. I'm confused as to what I else I can do to get out of her frame at this point. Even though I just arrived, I already have more friends than her, and she barely goes out to see her friends. Now I'm hit with this whole lets have space thing so I'm holding off on initiating sex. 3 yrs with 0 sex is painful and I dont know what else to do. I feel like I'm loosing perspective in the work I'm doing and eventhough I've made some solid gains, I feel like I have some sticking points. I want to get the community's perspective on how you guys see this or how you'd deal with a similar issue.