How do I know if I'm on the right track with all of this?

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-08-08T18:29:58+00:00

Your Male Action Plan.

Athol Kay calls it Mindful Attraction Plan, but the fucking words mean something to me when I call it Male Action Plan. I will attract someone or I won't. But foot should be firmly on the gas in the direction I want it to go

beta-to-boss · 2017-08-08T18:58:58+00:00

You have to know what you want, not what you think you want.

http://[deleted].blogspot.com/2016/05/flawed-mental-models-discovering-what.html

It's old and needs a rewrite, but do look into mental models. You need to frame the world in such a way that you can have a goal, distilled as best you can.

Otherwise, none of this matters, and you're just LARPING.

Some guys want to have sexual freedom. I chose a "Never Again" Policy. Others treat it like an obligation until the kids leave, and to live it like they stole it. etc.

As for perfectionism, you've got to ditch that mentality quick only thing that comes from it are panic attacks when you fail (or worse yet, you stop trying, so you save your ego)

Remember, process, not perfection. You should embrace failure, fuckups, hostility, conflict. The works. All this non-comfort-zone shit can be your bread and butter...

So to answer your question direct. You set the terms of success/failure. Then when something happens, its trivial whether it's a good or bad thing, because you can measure how much closer/further it gets you from your goal.

On top of that, start trusting that you know what you're doing, once you pick a goal. Second guessing, analysis paralysis, and fear of failure (or worse, fear of success) are what cause weak guys to keep the pedal to the floor, while in neutral. You may fuck up, and your fuck ups will teach you more than weeks of inaction can.

The trick? When you do fuck up (and you'll know when you are going ass backwards from your goal) you have to be able to spot it, and calibrate off of it. Take it with a 'devil make care' smile, and move on.

hystericalbonding · 2017-08-08T18:59:43+00:00

It's controversial nowadays but you don't actually have to entirely turn off your brain and be irrationally confident following a hivemind of internet retards. You can always read and lift until you start to get a clue.

Always been a fan of "don't just do something, stand there."

mindfulbutgutless · 2017-08-08T18:31:32+00:00

Help us out. What have you read? DYEL? age/height/weight? there isn't much to go on in your post.

beta-to-boss · 2017-08-08T18:41:42+00:00

how do I know if I'm doing things the right way or not?

What are you goals? You didn't give us much info here to work with.

I get confused when to do a lot of things such as agree and amplify. Ignore. Shut the fuck Up. If I'm DEERing. If it's okay to deer when I'm wrong. etc.

For the first 3 good months (maybe even 6 months) you should just STFU, lift, and read. Nothing else.

STFU does not mean "ignore". Do some research on what we mean when we say "STFU" and you will have a solid foundation to start with.

is it ok to DEER when I'm wrong?

If you actually read the fucking sidebar you would know that it's never OK to DEER. If you are wrong, own up to it and move on.

without posting all of the time...

I certainly do not speak for everyone, but I would say it's OK to post here when you have questions or need a pulse check. It's what this sub is for. But read the sidebar. Most stupid questions that are posted here are answered in the sidebar. Do your homework.

Downhere_Seeds · 2017-08-08T18:48:18+00:00

Are you newly married? Basically you have to learn when to apply these, based on her mood, context and common sense. For example, it's not a good idea to crack a joke about her killing a dog, right after she's hit one with her car and killed it. If you try one and it doesn't work, you've learned something, try another one. You'll find out what your wife prefers and what she responds to. You'll know if you are successful if you are both happy the majority of the time and you know how to turn it around in the hard times.

justpickanyusername · 2017-08-08T18:49:12+00:00

If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. - Cheshire Cat

What is your vision? What do you want out of life? Figure it out, make a plan, execute it, and evaluate your progress. The sidebar is a toolbox. What do you want to build?

Also, feel free to become an observer while you are still learning. But, don't stay an observer and be forever on the sidelines. Just work your way into it. Lift in the meantime. When you are strong physically it is easier to be strong mentally.

Sepean · 2017-08-08T21:31:28+00:00

Being a perfectionist is not a good mindset for learning if you're applying your perfectionism to the result. You can't bat 100% yet and you shouldn't try. Where you are now, trial and error is part of the process.

You should focus on getting better, on learning, on building frame. Don't think you can rush to the end. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

Why try to figure this out on your own? Read the sidebar, learn from that. Post here, get feedback. The greatest men in history had mentors - like them, suck the knowledge out of the smartest people you can find before you start making something yourself.

Once you get further in the process you will see that is more about finding something inside yourself. It's more about frame, character and identity than anything else, and what you doing now is building that more than anything else. And the part that is skill is requires fingerspitzengefühl, it's not something there's any simple way if understanding. It takes experience and the intuition that comes with it.

You have my permission to go fuck up. STFU when you should have made a witty remark - you'll come up with it 30 minutes later. A&A and realize later it was cringy. It's ok, it's a learning process. You'll never figure it out if you're confused and stressed and overthinking it. Just do it, and hit or miss as long as you gave it a good shot and you're evaluating it later instead of beating yourself up about it, that's mission accomplished because it made you better.

screechhater · 2017-08-08T21:37:41+00:00

Hint the shit fits and temper tantrums of the SO are "eh, whatever" or, you laugh and she cries, then laughs or not, but you are in your frame so WGAF ?

Make sure you lift and lift hard should be walking pumped and in "worked the fuck out of myself" mode

BluepillProfessor · 2017-08-09T03:10:00+00:00

how do I know if I'm doing things the right way or not

Anal and unsolicited blowjobs. Sex picks up. Shit Tests may or may not pick up.

If it's okay to deer when I'm wrong. etc.

If you must, then DEER about how you are fixing the problem. Don't ever DEER about something you did wrong. Admit it if warranted and move on.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-08-09T03:14:50+00:00

Perfectionism is often a sign of insecurity. You don't feel good about yourself, your true self, so you identify with what you DO, to the exclusion of who you ARE. Therefore, every mistake you make is a negative reflection of you. That's false.

Right now you should consider yourself in MRP boot camp, at least until the beginning of dread level 3. You are expected to make mistakes. You are a trainee. You are reading and assimilating new information for the first time. Every mistake is one more identifiable step closer to success.

The average person retains 7-10% of what they read the first time. You might be special and get to 15% the first pass through. But to understand the reading, to really internalize it and be able to use it requires study. No different than learning a philosophy book in college, plan to spend some time in the prerequisites and other areas. You will start to pick it up on your 4th or 5th time through. And when you come to the exercises like those in NMMNG, do them. It will help you internalize the information and make it usable much more quickly.

Along the way take notes. I have note tabs in my phone, red pill quotes, red pill wisdom, awesome MRP links, etc.

Sex from your wife cannot be a metric for success. It leads you to chase pussy. The whole point here is to get the pussy to open to you and invite you in, to desire you.

You know you're doing it right when you add more weight in the gym.

You know you're doing it right when you feel better after a workout and receive IOIs from random cuties.

You know you're doing it right when you read something and have an AHA! moment, thinking about the last time you fucked up AA or AM or even fogging/broken record, and what you'll do better next time.

You know when you're doing it right when you are in your frame, shit tests and comfort tests are identifiable and passable, and you are fun to be with.

You are re-wiring your brain to function in a different way to project your masculinity from your new masculine core. Give yourself the opportunity to do that through the course fundamentals. And don't be afraid to fuck up.

If you want to use a metric for success, plug into the dread levels. By the time you complete #5 you should have a good working knowledge of most of the fundamentals.

I'm still in dread level 1/2.

Others around here have gone all the way as necessary.

Keep reading, over and again.

As long as you don't quit, you'll succeed.

[deleted] · 2017-08-09T04:32:39+00:00

Dude, how old are you? We'll say you're 34.

Dude, you've known for 34 years now how you know if you're on the right track. With anything. When you wanted to get your parents attention as a baby and you cried and they came, you knew you were on the right track.

When you got all your chores done at 8 and your mom gave you your allowance you knew you were on the right track.

When you flirted with that girl in high school and she giggled and gave you eyes you knew you were on the right track..

How? Because you got what you wanted. You know you're on the right track when you get what you want.

[deleted] · 2017-08-09T12:46:31+00:00

are you happier today than yesterday?

good.

not happier? - try something different.

Soberskipper · 2017-08-09T07:56:46+00:00

"I'm a perfectionist bla bla bla...."

No your a pussy that's scared to get into choppy deep waters so you want the Mrp community to give you a step by step life assessment.

Fuck that throw yourself in at the deep end,realise your a man and stfu and read for 3 months.

Lift every day.

Title	How do I know if I'm on the right track with all of this?
Author	beta-to-boss
Upvotes	10
Comments	51
Date	August 8, 2017 6:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6sfezw/how_do_i_know_if_im_on_the_right_track_with_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-do-i-know-if-im-on-the-right-track-with-all-of.205706 https://theredarchive.com/post/205706