How to Maintain Frame and what is it?

Blunter-S-Thompson · 2017-08-08T02:59:17+00:00

From Rollo's essay...frame is the reality, the set of rules if you will, that you operate under.

Say we go to have a conversation you and me. I like to argue, I like to ruffle your feathers, I like to make statements to get you to defend yourself and beg me for forgiveness.

You...Probably don't like to do those things. So you walk in the door to our appartent later than usual and dinner, which you usually make us, is now late. I lay into you: "Where have you been?!"

If you Defend, Excuse, Explain, or Rationalize your behavior, if you take me seriously, if you argue, get your feathers ruffled at my attitude, you are operating in my reality...according to my rules. My frame.

If you remain calm, if you don't care, or if you make a joke because you think I'm bring irrational and it humors you, you have rejected my frame and are operating in yours.

I, then, do not necessarily have to take that rejection. I can say "You think this is a joke?! You always do this!" And that simply shows that I'm unwilling to or dont trust operating in your frame. It's not an offense to you, just a barometer of where you rank in my eyes.

Or, I could calm down, apologize, and through some witchcraft amnesia completely forget what I just said and act submissive and want you to fuck me later...which is good. Reinforce that behavior, and fuck me later.

No homo.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2017-08-08T04:43:41+00:00

Ever seen the cliche image of a movie director holding his two hands up to make a square and he peers through it to see how a shot will look? Maybe he doesn't like what he sees so he gets down low and does it again...then he hops up and gets another angle until he he gets the exact angle and look he wants out of the image before him. He's framing the shot. He sees an image before him and he's reconstructing his view of it until his mental vision of it matches what he actually wants to see.

Frame is similar here. There is always something before you. You get the choice of how you want to frame the event.

Is there a catastrophic emergency in front of you? Do you lose your shit or reframe the event in a manner where you take control and get you and yours safe?

Is your wife picking at you constantly? Do you get butt hurt? Or do you decide to play with her some by joking with some agree and amplify...or do just remove your attention and instead do something you enjoy?

Your kids acting up? Do you lose your mind and scream at them? Or do you look for the underlying problem and use this moment as an opportunity to actually help them, bond with them, and build trust that you will always be there for them?

Frame the world's events before how you want to see them. Frame them in a manner that is beneficial to your well being and your ultimate interests. When you lose frame...then the events around you are shaping the shot..shaping you...and no good director would allow that.

hystericalbonding · 2017-08-08T02:51:29+00:00

Frame has origins in social science. It involves either thought processes or communication about reality. You want others to step into your reality - your way of perceiving and interacting with the world. This can be an effective way to influence people and to exert your will on the world around you.

The red pill expands and sometimes abuses the term, but the basic idea is the same. The red pill dogma itself is a good example of framing - the feminine imperative, hypergamy, shit tests, etc... None of these are new ideas, but framing them this way clicks for many guys.

On the communication side, How to Win Friends and Influence People has some practical examples for one-on-one communication inspired by sales tactics.

As for thought processes, aside from the sidebar and the posts linked by others in this thread, hang around, follow some of the endorsed contributors, and you'll get a sense of what frame means. Pay special attention to guys like weakandsensitive, who have a strong frame and also enjoy testing others.

askmeanything2 · 2017-08-08T02:12:09+00:00

Have you read this:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

2ndal · 2017-08-08T02:33:15+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/62awdg/a_practical_guide_to_building_frame/

[deleted] · 2017-08-08T02:59:50+00:00

Think of your frame as a iron vault. Inside this vault are: your best interests, emotions, career aspirations, desires, personal goals, etc.

If anyone breaks into your vault and affects the contents inside, your frame is weak and needs to be refortified.

How do you make your frame stronger?

TRP- Time. Reading. Practice.

screechhater · 2017-08-08T03:30:16+00:00

black and white.

Do you join in a gang rape by being convinced it's ok, turn your back from disgust or fight to death to fend others off of the victim ?

Do you let others dissuade your action and choices ?

So you get married, you go to the store, Mrs leads the cart you are following and she states we are going to use Tide laundry detergent because it's on sale, but you are allergic to it....

1 of your children and you cannot have penicillin under no uncertain terms but the doctor tells you to try it on the other child. Go along or vehimintly appose ?

What is your mission ? What have you settled for and wish to change ? Why ?

When you no say no, you should state it like, not only no, but hell no (and I will not be disuaded)

Sepean · 2017-08-08T05:59:52+00:00

The most central part of frame is to be perfectly ok with how your actions and desires inconvenience and annoy other people. There's more to it than that, but if you can internalize that you're well on your way to strong frame.

[deleted] · 2017-08-08T12:52:37+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6r0q3e/frame_as_an_assertive_social_tool_instead_of_a/dl2hp8f/?context=3

rocknrollchuck · 2017-08-08T14:13:22+00:00

A homeless person asks you for a dollar. You refuse. The homeless person begins to argue with you about it. What do you do? Do you try to convince the homeless person that you are right? Do you give in and give him a dollar? Would you spend a couple hours of your day debating it? Are you going to be up at night thinking about it?

The answer is none of those things. You are going to continue on doing what you are doing because it's just a waste of time to do otherwise. The homeless man has zero power over you and it's not worth your time, emotions or thoughts to debate the point.

Title	How to Maintain Frame and what is it?
Author	olive_quill
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	08 August 2017 02:02 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/205712
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6saet6/how_to_maintain_frame_and_what_is_it/