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3 [FRs]- Setting a boundary, IDGAF, and saying "No"

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August 4, 2017
14 upvotes

I've posted here before, but had to delete my account due to opsec concerns.

I'll save you the victim puke as I have already done that, but here is a brief background of me:

34, married for 8 years, 2 kids (7 and 1). Been doing jiu jitsu, lifting, and running since 2012 (long before I found MRP it was a no-brainer that I had to get out of the house more and get back in shape). I swallowed the pill in January 2017 after being sick and tired of the constant missionary starfish duty sex I was getting (my baby girl was only 6 months old at this time). Since my sex life was my biggest complaint in my marriage, I use sex as one of the primary units of measurement for progress I've made since swallowing the pill (as you will see in the FRs below). In short- I believe if my sex life is improving, the MRP tactics are working.

So after swallowing the pill, I went a little Rambo at first and was stuck in the anger phase for the first 3 good months. I eventually slowed down and told myself my journey doesn't officially start until the baby turns 1 (June). Once June arrives, the clock starts and if my marriage hasn't made ANY improvements in 12 months, I'm filing for divorce.

And so the baby turned 1 last month and since then I've dealt with some textbook MRP shit...and quite honestly I'm having a blast with it. When you see the theories and ideas from the sidebar lifted directly from the pages and manifested right before your eyes in your woman's actions, it truly is quite hilarious. It's like knowing the secrets to a magician's tricks. You think to yourself "Haha, nice try but I saw that one coming from a mile away." You become Neo, dodging bullets and seeing the code. The anger fades and you realize that your woman is not a bad person. She's simply just a reflection of you.

[FR] Setting a boundary:

On the day of the baby's 1st birthday my wife and her mom were trying to fit a birthday crown on the baby's head for a photo. The baby wasn't having it, going nuts, screaming and crying about the stupid crown being placed on her head. I spoke up and said "Alright now, let's not kill the baby for a photo." It was passive aggressive and a stupid comment to make, I admit. And it really seemed to piss off my wife as she yelled "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" to me in front of her mom and our kids. Her mom looked at me like I was a sad little puppy being scolded by its owner. I was embarrassed. Humiliated might be the better word.

I knew a boundary had to be set. I don't care how frustrated my wife was or what stupid shit I said, my wife does not talk to me like that under any circumstances.

So I just smiled at her and got up and left the room. I went outside to take out the trash and then waited at her car for her to come out (she was about to leave for work).

She eventually comes outside and approaches me. We are alone. When she is about 2 feet away I looked right into her eyes and said "I know you were frustrated and my comment didn't help. But don't you ever talk to me like that again. Ok?"

She was now the sad puppy being scolded. She lowered her head and eyes and said "Ok" and got into her car and left.

Moments later she texted me "I'm sorry for HOW I talked to you, but I'm not sorry for WHY I snapped like that. We need to have a talk."

I replied "OK, let's talk tonight."

Later that night, the talk never came. But she did. Hmmm. Interesting... 🤔

[FR] IDGAF:

I had my relatives (my mom and my sister) come visit a week after the baby's birthday. Anytime company is about to arrive, my wife goes into obsessive cleaning mode (AWALT, amirite?). The day my family is flying in we both handle shit around the house and when the chores are done I tell her I'm off to jiu jitsu class. She blows up. She said "all you ever care about is yourself. You're living in your own little world and no one else matters" and essentially accuses me of going off to have fun while leaving her to clean the house and do chores by herself for MY family (shit was already done and handled, she was just being dramatic and manipulative). She goes on and says she can't believe I don't have the common sense to skip jiu jitsu the day we're expecting company (I was picking them up from the airport at 8pm that night...).She starts crying and said she is not happy and that once my family is gone we need to "have a serious talk" (hinting at divorce, again). Instead of getting dragged into a long emotional argument like I have done in the past the only thing I said was "Sure. We can talk whenever you want. Me and the kids will be back later." And off I went.

On the way home, I stopped at the gas station for a Gatorade like I usually do and picked up a diet soda for my wife, like I usually do. When I got home I approached my wife like everything was fine and said "hey baby, got you something" while holding up her soda. She tried to ignore me, still mad, but after waving the soda around in her face like David Bowie from "Labyrinth", she cracked a smile and said "You're stupid. A soda doesn't fix anything"...and took the soda from me. I then told her I wanted a kiss and so I went in and right before our lips touched I whispered "with a little tongue". And she complied.

Over the next few hours, I laid on the kino heavy and played with the kids. I was getting lukewarm responses from the kino at first but eventually I got her warmed up pretty good and back to a happy mood.

Later that night I picked up my family from the airport, we all chatted and got caught up for an hour or so (wife included), and then me and my wife went to bed. I thought there was no way in hell I was getting laid that night, with my mom and sister staying down the hall, and with my wife not being the biggest fan of me lately. But that didn't stop me from initiating and when I did my wife's only comment was "just be quiet" as she took off her pants. I fucked her good from behind and played with her asshole until she came. Best sex we've had all year.

The rest of the week went fine and when my family left, "the talk" never happened.

[FR] Saying "no":

Last Friday night, I take the baby to her bed to put her down for the night. She is a little fussy and putting up a fight and it takes a good 45 minutes or so. When I get back to my room to turn in for the night, I found my wife sitting on the bed reading her phone. Pretty typical. I go to the bathroom to wash up and she says "Hey can I ask you for a really big favor?"

"Sure, you can ask." I reply.

"Can you go out to my car and get my laptop for me? I accidentally left it in there."

I go to the bathroom without answering to mull this over, to essentially DEER to myself. This is not a big favor to ask and would be easy for me to do. But why the fuck can't she do it? It's not something she NEEDS assistance with. I'm in my underwear, she is fully dressed. I just spent an hour trying to get the baby to sleep, she sat on her ass playing on her phone. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and thought "this is straight out of WISNIFG and NMMNG. It's my shining moment to put the word NO into action". I walked out of the bathroom and when she asked me again to get her laptop from the car, I smiled at her and playfully said "awww, what's the matter with your legs? Are they broken?"

"No, I just don't want to go outside alone in the dark. Geez!"

We live in the suburbs, not downtown Detroit. The car was sitting in the driveway right next to the house. She was being lazy and wanted me to be her errand boy.

My only response back was "OK, well my answer is no."

She got up, slamming her feet on the ground, and said "FINE! FUCK YOU TOO!" as she left the room to get the laptop herself. I was tempted to call her back and remind her that she won't talk to me like that, but I decided to open a book and read instead.

The next day, I run my kino and flirty banter on her as usual. When I ask her for some help with the baby she makes sure to sarcastically ask "if my legs are broken?" to which I playfully reply "Fine! Fuck you too!"

Later that night, I initiate sex and when I do my wife says "what are you doing? Are your legs broken?"

"No, my legs are fine. But my dick isn't. I need you to fix it for me."

I take off her pants, we start banging, and she is super into it (abnormally so). When I finish she actually complained that I finished too early (hey, the UFC fights were about to start and I didn't want to miss them). This was a pleasant surprise. She's gone from "hurry up and cum already" to "ugh, I wish you fucked me longer."

Then this past Tuesday, she initiated while the oldest kid was still awake. A nice long, passionate session occurred with more butt play involved. Have I finally killed the starfish?

So....

The frequency of sex has increased from once per week to about 2-3 time per week (my ideal frequency). The quality has also improved tremendously . My wife would never, ever fuck me if kids were awake in the house, but now we're banging with kids awake and house guests under the same roof. Progress is being made.

But don't mistake this post as a man who has made it. I'm still fighting battles and "set backs" occur frequently. I'm still dealing with disrespectful comments and consistent rejections. I just like reading about success stories out there in the field and thought I'd share some of my own.

It's been 8 months since swallowing the pill and I'm just getting started.


Post Information
Title 3 [FRs]- Setting a boundary, IDGAF, and saying "No"
Author youscum
Upvotes 14
Comments 10
Date 04 August 2017 05:07 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205743
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6rlw57/3_frs_setting_a_boundary_idgaf_and_saying_no/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGDEERAWALTkinoliftfield reportNMMNG
Comments

[–]BobbyPeru10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alright now, let's not kill the baby for a photo

Nope, don't feel guilty. This is gold

[–]Sapphire_Jizz2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Solid FR, grats on the progress, keep it up.

One small thing struck me, however, when reading this:

...and took the soda from me. I then told her I wanted a kiss and so I went in and right before our lips touched I whispered "with a little tongue". And she complied.

You spoke, instead of simply not speaking and leading with actions. Don't say "I want to kiss you" before kissing her... just kiss her. Don't say "...with a little tongue," just make it a tongue kiss. The words felt like negotiated desire and betray your confidence.

[–]Jeanwulfprefers homeopathy to pills0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are scum

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Some good stuff in your post.

 

I spoke up and said "Alright now, let's not kill the baby for a photo." It was passive aggressive and a stupid comment to make, I admit. And it really seemed to piss off my wife as she yelled "WILL YOU SHUT UP!"

You cared more about your child's comfort than a gimmicky photo prop. Are the kids her accessories? Is this a recurring pattern, that this kind of behavior with the kids goes unchecked?

 

in front of her mom and our kids

She spoke to you that way in front of the 7 year old? Don't dodge this conversation with her. Disrespect in front of the kids is a firm boundary.

 

I'm still dealing with disrespectful comments

Clearly. Establishing the boundary about disrespect in front of the kids would be a good start. Do you allow other people to treat you this way?



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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