Let's not dance around it. The majority of us are here because we did a search for why we're not having sex more in our married lives and came across /r/deadbedrooms, then from some comment came across /r/redpill, then somehow found /r/marriedredpill.
The foundation behind MRP has, and to me, has always been, how can I get to have more sex besides the once or twice a month (or, once every six months for some of you poor bastards.....).
That lead most of us to realize that frequent sex with our SO isn't the issue, it's us. Queue the sidebar. ---> NMMNG. Those of us who have read NMMNG have dropped the book with our jaws in our laps and undoubtedly proclaimed "this book described me to the atom". If you've read Rational Male, you've for sure pulled your head from the book and silently whispered "fuck. right?".
So that brings us here. We're not misogynists, we're certainly not advocates for rape culture, hell we're not even against women's rights and liberties. We're here to learn about who we are as the other 50% in a relationship that too often get's forgotten about in a modern relationship. We have needs, we have feels, we have expectations and and most of all, we have a carnal desire to have sex. We want to fuck things that are nice, we want to fight and we want to do awesome shit. Why is that a bad thing. Im not a slave, Im a free man with free thoughts. It's OK to want sex every day. That is NOT a bad thing.
Why wont my SO of 15 years fuck me like she did when she first met me? Whos chad, and why would she rather fuck him than me? Oh god, I've lost everything that she wanted to have sex with and become this placated piece of shit.... that she created. Is it her fault? Hell no. Is it my fault? Hell yes. But its time to wake up and set some rules here.
So you find this place. What you read and listen and hear about makes sense. You hear about not going rambo, which is true, no one likes a newly found religious preacher anyways. So you take it slowly. This sub is about improving yourself as a MAN, about taking control of your own destiny. Women be damned! Right? But, let's assume that you're new here. What, veterans, is your advice for a realistic timeline for change.
This is to help the newbies to the MRP that think they can make change in a week.
My personal experience? It's quite shitty, TBH. I've been being the best I can be for 4 months. Owning my shit, dread level 5 and as far as financial stability is concerned, lifting and fit as ever.... . Married 12 years. BARELY seeing any sort of change, but with (1) reminding myself I'm in this life for me, and no one else and (2) should shit hit the fan I'll be ok, and (3) While I love my wife with my heart, her unwillingness to be emotionally available to me is a deal ender if this doesn't work out, and thats OK. This life is about ME and not her.
4 months in. What have I seen? A slow uptick in respect. Maybe, MAYBE, sex once more a month than usual. It's to hard not to spray emotional vomit all over the place when I initiate and she denies, but since I stopped negotiating sex (planning) and talking about it all the time, I can certainly see a change. Small, but it's there.
This is 4 months. Expect nothing until you change the paradigm. I used to be such a beggar, a negotiator, an explainer of my feelings. 4 months is nothing. I suspect this is a few years to switch the direction of MY ship.
So. For You veterans who have bettered yourself, and aimed for higher horizons, please, let's teach the newbies once and for all what to expect.