Last night my wife wanted the dogs to sleep in the bedroom with us. A rule we've always had since we bought them is that they don't. Occasionally, like on a weekend I'll allow it as a treat to them and my wife. Last night she wanted it, I said no, not tonight, she started whinging so I just went to sleep. Today I got this bombshell text: literal copy and paste
I have never been so sad for so long. Almost 2 years now and i don't feel more settled or happy. Yes, i have moments of happiness, but the sad moment are much more and i don't think that's how it's supposed to be. What you said last night made me realize that i am here under your conditions, "if you want to stay here, that's how it is", i know you were talking about staying in the room and the dogs, but that's the thing, it's always about "your rules" and what "you think is better", but you don't think about me, about what makes me happy, about what i want. It has been like that for a while now, this is not the first time i tell you this. And about your "rules", aren't they supposed to bring us closer and make us a better couple? Because so far i don't see it, it only makes me feel like i live under your power and your command. I can honestly say that i haven't felt this alone in my entire life. I know it might make you sad but i can't wait for you to go to go on ur work trip coming up. Im pretty sure that's not how it's suppose to be, it's not normal. I Can't wait to go to Sydney and spend time away from you. Maybe that's what we need. And i have been feeling like this for a while. I cried myself to sleep the last 3 nights, just because i feel sad, and you don't make it any easier, the person with whom I'm suppose to feel better, makes it worse sometimes. Im sorry if this hurts you, i needed to let you know. I found the words just today. I've been thinking all morning how to organize my thoughts, exactly what i feel and how to communicate it. I don't have a solution, I don't have any ideas on how to change this. Im not asking you to solve this, i just wanted to let you know.