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Is this a test or am I over thinking it?

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July 7, 2017
7 upvotes

So since coming here I have been owning my Shit religiously. I want to thank you guys for pushing me. I am not only doing everything that needs to get done around my house but I am looking for more things to do. I used to come home and just relax and play on my phone. Now no matter how tired I am. Everything gets done before I rest. And even then after I am reading MMSLP

I also in the last year have got jacked, shredded to the bone, abs, muscle. I am in the best shape of my life. Financially am also. Always had game and never been in any lagging of abundance with women. Anyway.

Now my SO is in nursing school so she hasn't made it to the gym being so busy and has said on multiple occasions about how she wants to be on the same level as me, and can't wait till she can get back in the gym. Ive got her to come on a couple runs with me to keep her active. She used to do my laundry and dishes and all but now that I take care of that she hasn't had to do anything but focus on school. She's loving it, I can tell she less anxious and also has made many comments about it.

She just finished her one class and had asked if she could go out for drinks to a bar across the street with her girls and classmates. She rarely ever goes out (once every 6 months maybe). So I tell her of course go have fun. I went to the gym.

She calls me a little while after I got back and asked if I was home. I said yes and she said okay good I'm coming back. Now my SO rarely rejects me for sex and when she don't want to she will at least blow me. So it's all good there. We also fucked before she went out and I knew she would be horny after.

She came in and I asked if she had fun. She said yea it was good to see everyone. But her one friend there, we'll call her Sarah. Sarah's boyfriend was there and was hitting on her all night. She kept saying it made her uncomfortable. I wasnt sure how to respond of if this was some sort of test, I was going to AA but I didn't feel like it was the right situation. So I didn't say anything. I let her continue talking about it. She said he kept asking for a hug and was doing other stuff. I couldn't help but laugh when she said "when I left he was asking where's my hug" Bc we all know those type of guys.

I remained stoic and then she had brought up that Sarah texted her and apologized for her bf. But I didn't hear her get any text message. And also wondered why she brought it up again.

Could this be her trying to show me guys still hit on her and that she's "wanted" some type of dread game towards me. Should I have said anything when she was talking about it. Or just kind of ignore it like it did? Am I thinking into this too much? I'm just wondering what her reasoning for telling me this was. I know she gets hit on she's smoking hot. But she usually doesn't mention it. Is there some underlying message I was missing here?

Edit: I obviously know she didn't want to do anything with this dude. I'm wondering if maybe she was looking for me to respond in a "protective" manner.

"Oh yea? I'll go fuck him up no body touches my baby but me πŸ˜‰"

Or just handle it how I did


Post Information
Title Is this a test or am I over thinking it?
Author Bulk_king11
Upvotes 7
Comments 34
Date 07 July 2017 02:34 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205905
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6lu1ea/is_this_a_test_or_am_i_over_thinking_it/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are overthinking it.

shit test and comfort tests are NOT A THING THEY KNOW THEY DO.

"I was uncomfortable with him"

"Yea that sucks. Why is your friend dating such a looser?"

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a good response

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy

My read of the situation from this and your previous posts:

She's anxious about you being so much better than her. That's where the "she wants to be on your level" stuff comes from. She was happy someone hit on her because it alleviated some of that anxiety around feeling desired by you - if this guy wanted to hit on her, then that must mean she isn't as bad as she was afraid of, and her husband must still desire her too.

You're coming across as a little insecure here in the sense that you're kind of expecting her to be "up to something." The thing about you "didn't hear her get any text message" and asking if she's trying to "use dread," etc. is what I'm talking about with that.

I know she gets hit on she's smoking hot.

She doesn't necessarily know that if her anxiety doesn't allow her to. It seems dumb if you try to use too much logic with it, but anxiety doesn't deal in the realm of logic. It deals in the realm of constantly feeling like you're in danger from a legitimate threat, even if the threat isn't real.

If you wanted, you could have easily turned this type of situation into something playful. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom and worry.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

Can you give me an example of turning it playful?

And I didn't think she was up to something per say. I was just wondering if maybe she was looking for me to respond in a more protective manner maybe?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can you give me an example of turning it playful?

Pick her up, twirl her, tell her that you bet he was flirting with your pretty little [girlfriend/fiancee/wife/whatever] because she's a hot piece of ass, toss her on the couch, climb on top of her and tickle her and tease her about her little boyfriend. Rework however works for her. If you don't feel cool about picking her up and twirling her for any reason, then putting your arms around her and grabbing two handfuls of ass and pinning her up against the wall would work just as well.

I was just wondering if maybe she was looking for me to respond in a more protective manner maybe?

Maybe, but probably not from a "let's make him jealous" perspective and more of a "I want to feel wanted by my SO because I'm anxious as fuck about how hot my SO is and I'm afraid he could pull hordes of hot teen ass and trade me in for a newer model."

[–]thewholefnshow547-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy

Reading your scenerio and putting myself in your shoes, I would feel disrespected, not by her but by Sarah's boyfriend. Your woman did the right thing by telling you. Perhaps she is telling you she feels disrespected and by proxy you are disrespected. Corrective actions may be called for.

What say you pill gallery?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

I would feel disrespected, not by her but by Sarah's boyfriend.

If you have a hot SO, she's going to get hit on. It's not disrespect. It's just the natural order of things.

[–]thewholefnshow5470 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Do we live in a world that no longer adheres to man-code? Should the clear violators of man-code go unpunished?

If Sarah's BF knew Bulk_king was attached to this woman, this is man-code violation. Plus he ruined her night out which she rarely goes on. That's a double whammy.

If Sarahs' BF was a stranger, not knowing if she was available or not and took a shot, then so be it. Ignore is the play. If not, then I don't think it is so cut and dry.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

There is no man-code. Go moralize somewhere else.

[–]thewholefnshow5470 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Are you asking me to leave? Because I don't 100% agree with you?

Sheesh

[–]Tebulus1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

So what would be your plan then? Rush over to the bar like a fuckboy and demand that some shitty lame asshole who is in a dysfunctional relationship never speak that way to your snowflake ever again? Why? What does that accomplish in your eyes other than stoking the wildfire that is your ego? Hit the sidebar, bitch.

[–]thewholefnshow5470 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

All avenues should be explored. Every choice should be examined. I am arguing that the topic creator has been disrespected. I don't understand why this is not a viable option that should be discussed if we want to fully explore the situation. Where in the sidebar does it say that when someone disrespects you, you should tuck your tail and roll over on your back exposing your belly? Was that a Rational Male post? I missed that one.

[–]Tebulus1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

All avenues should be explored? What the fuck does that mean? You are missing the point, again. You taking offense to perceived disrespect in a situation where you were not present and no actual harm was done is a form of control you are exerting out of fear or discomfort hence ego. The reason I rightly called you a bitch is because a flaired user like /u/Scurvemuch knows what he is talking about and clearly hit the nail right on fucking target and your response to that is the fucking man code? Are you shitting me? Go to either of the main subs and start reading because you are full of shit.

If this man was openly hitting on your lady in your presence in spite of knowing you and she are in a relationship then by all means you and I are in agreement and the behavior is disrespectful to you, your lady, and his lady. So get in his face, set some boundaries, and make it known that what he is doing is not acceptable and you will fucking rip his head off if he does it again. You also then take responsibility of the risks associated with that action like if he is a black belt in jiu jitsu, is with five friends, or is carrying a knife or gun and will kill you.

Being alpha is not a merciless physical enforcing of your current emotions in all situations as you see fit like a god damned caveman murking a rival alpha with a club. Thats a dipshit simplistic way of looking at it. Being prepared to defend yourself and your domain with force definitely has a place. Not shying away conflict out of fear or social pressure does as well. However, you are focusing on a single piece of a much, much larger puzzle and even that piece you are focusing on you are misinterpreting.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by I pill gallery

[–]thewholefnshow5470 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean guy commenting on this thread.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

No. She’s telling you what happened that night. She doens’t Want something to get around.

THIS is the difference between trust and loyalty that I have talked about.

Trust is something you give. Like you did when you gave no shits about her going out without you.

Loyalty is that she resisted this joker and came back to you. Telling you was her way of showing that loyalty. She could have lied. She could have not told you at all. Ask yourself why she told you the truth and one that could have blown shit up.

The other unique difference between trust and loyalty that most don’t understand is this. Do you trust your woman to go righ to the line of flirtatious behavior? Right to the line of hitting on other guys? Maybe to get a free drink, lead them on for her own ends? Basically seek validation? If you trust in this way I say you are playing with fire. Sadly this what feminism wants you to believe. Wants you to accept as trust.

Loyalty means she doesn’t actively do this things. She nor you can stop others from hitting on her or trying to ask her out. If she is desirable it will happen. Loyalty means she doens’t play back, she tried to remove herself. Then comes to you.

Your woman is loyal.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

As I read that I was saying to myself she doesn't act in ways of trust but loyalty. She has shown me multiple times her loyalty even in times she didn't think I was aware of it.

It wasn't me thinking she may had did something but I was wondering if she was looking for me maybe to be more protective of her in my response instead of acting like I didn't care at all. Maybe a comfort test of some sort

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You’re thinking too much about it.

Her comfort was her coming to you. To some one safe. Her rock.

That’s how you respond.

Sometimes it isn’t that hard.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How I responded, is how you respond is what you're saying right?

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's trying to inject some dread to alleviate her dread. It's harmless but next time have some fun with it.

"Oh yeah? Ok babe, let's roleplay. You be sarah and ill be sarah's bf".

[–]straius0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

It's possible she was looking for you to display some protective behavior (comfort test) if she feels like she's in the wrong end of smv dynamics, or she was just telling you about her night.

I didn't read anything in your post that sounded like a red flag.

Had a similar situation happen once when my wife was being hit on while at dinner, I joked about it with her and fed her some response lines, when she got back it became clear that she would have been delighted in me showing up and being territorial. In that "he'd fight for me" way.

That's about the only thread I saw possibly connecting what you wrote to the convo. Even that may be a stretch based on how you describe everything as basically going great. Is there anything beyond paranoia feeding your hamster?

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No actually that's what I was looking for. I was wondering if she was looking for me to response in a protective manner

[–]straius0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Seems likely, CapNBalls also has a good read on the situation.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Link?

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I meant his comment on this post. Actually not sure how to link comments on reddit.

[–]CanConDonJuan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My girl does this sometimes and it's 100% a comfort test. She's pretty overt about wanting me to respond protectively

[–]thewholefnshow5470 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your situation has raised a good question.

You are looking to respond in a protective manner, this is kind of like mate guarding. Mate guarding is beta-ish behavior. Which would fill her need for comfort. You claim her and are willing to fight to keep her.

OR you could feel disrespected, in which case, your alpha cred is called into question by Sarah's boyfriend. He is a outta line and needs to be put in check. You are the fucking top dog, and you ain't having that bitch disrespect you. In which case, response would be an alpha behavior.

However, ignore is also alpha. My game is supreme, his ain't shit. Go ahead and try loser, she is sleeping at my place tonight. But does Sarah's boyfriend know about you? If he was a stranger, I could say he didn't know, proper play is to ignore. But if not...

I guess it is all about your motivation. Do you feel the need to protect, or do you feel the need to get satisfaction for the disrespect? I would say that if you do confront Sarah's BF (and it sounds like confrontation is already been decided in your mind), your audience will tell the tail. Confront him in front of Sarah or your woman to get the beta points. Confront him alone to get the alpha points.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going against the grain here, and all of the facts seem to indicate that to do so would be folly, but, I have to ask: Could this be trickle truthing?

[–]mtdog-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dude, she obviously wants to fuck that guy.

Or, you know, she was telling you about this douche because you guys are together and, you know, sometimes couples talk about things.

You did fine.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

lol I'm not completely oblivious but would it be better to show some protection over her. Some women like that.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But what are you protecting? She's not in danger she was just uncomfortable. You can't protect her feelz....

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That escalated quickly.



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