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Daughter is being plated. How do I stop it?

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June 28, 2017
11 upvotes

My wife and I have a 17 yr old daughter who has been dating her bf for a couple of years. They keep breaking up & getting back together. Every time, she tells him that he better straighten up, or else. Or else she'll tell him to straighten up again. After doing some reading on TRP and MRP, I now see exactly what he's doing. He's plating her. But if I try to tell her what he's doing, well... I just don't understand. He's not like that... etc, blah, blah, blah. So the challenge here is 1, how do I convince her what he's doing? And, 2, how do I do it without divulging Fight Club to the wife? I'm pretty new at MRP, so I don't want to screw this up.


Post Information
Title Daughter is being plated. How do I stop it?
Author RPPilot
Upvotes 11
Comments 42
Date 28 June 2017 01:38 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205937
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6jxevl/daughter_is_being_plated_how_do_i_stop_it/
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Comments

[–]screechhaterRed Beret12 points13 points  (26 children) | Copy

Rule 7. We do not dig in our trash.

My 15 year has had into drilled into her head repeatedly for three years

It has worked. her friends are breaking up and then getting back.

Never thought we would get here this fast.

[–]AmericanViking641 point2 points  (24 children) | Copy

I have a 15 year old girl who has been dating this boy for a couple months now. He is getting very beta, and clingy.

I like the kid, he is from a good family with as much positive potential as anyone, but is falling for the same traps we all did.

I have not said anything to either yet, just my wife. I want to tell the kid whats up for his sake, even if he doesn't end up with my daughter in the long run.

He was a fun and exciting kid to start with, now hes boring. Would you say anything or leave it be? He started out with so much potential he reminded me of myself. So I have this instinctual urge to red pill him.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (20 children) | Copy

I have not said anything to either yet, just my wife. I want to tell the kid whats up for his sake, even if he doesn't end up with my daughter in the long run.

hes' not your child. the fuck is wrong with you?

[–]HobbesTheBrave5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

How is helping your daughter's boyfriend unmanly, but helping strangers online manly?

[–]AmericanViking640 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Exactly this. Part of being a strong man is being a mentor to those that do not have that kind of an example in their life.

I have two daughters and you can bet the house on the fact that whoever they want to marry will know explicitly what it takes to be a man long before I ever think of handing over the responsibility of taking care of one of my girls.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

whoever they want to marry will know explicitly what it takes to be a man long before I ever think of handing over the responsibility of taking care of one of my girls.

This is great. Seriously. My (extreme natural alpha) dad was the same way, and my sister and I are the better for it.

But you should want your daughters to marry naturals. You should want them to marry guys for whom this is their nature, not guys who have to think about it and work at it. Certainly not guys that you have to advise about it, no offense intended.

That said, most teenagers are socially awkward, and if your daughter's boyfriend is confused about this stuff, then he has a LOT of company, and several years left to figure it out.

[–]AmericanViking640 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not to be a contrarian, but what is a natural alpha? I would argue, we all are (men). "Natural" is just a function of what we are used to vs. what is true.

Every one of us has to work at it, to "fake it before we make it". Once we do that for a bit consciously and observe the obvious results we are in the clear forever.

The virtue is in the action based on the consciousnesses. None of us here had that naturally (or if we did, it was suppressed by TBP).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't say you should want your daughters to marry a "natural alpha;" I said you should want your daughters to marry a "natural." Honestly, I'd be pretty upset if either of our daughters married a natural alpha like my dad. Natural alphas are not what any man should want for his daughter. I lived with a natural alpha for my entire upbringing, and I am grateful for the experience, but it is nothing that I would ever, under any circumstance, put any of our children through.

You should want your daughter to marry a man who doesn't need to read six books and cogitate about it for a year in order to be able to set and enforce the boundary of "I go to the gym three or four times a week." You should want your daughter to marry a man who doesn't think twice, at age 22, about putting a bitchy first date in a cab, giving the driver $40, and telling him to make sure that she gets home safe. Before the entrees arrive.

Look, I understand that everybody has strengths and weaknesses, and there is honestly no shame in working to overcome your weaknesses. I've done it. We're teaching our kids to do it. It's actually one of the most valuable skills any human can develop.

But this is your daughter. This is your child. You should want the best for her. Do you, honestly, want her to marry a guy who needed to learn from third and fourth and fifth parties that it is all right to have an independent interest or two? Or do you want her to marry the guy who knows that already, from inside himself, and who is incapable of allowing anybody to argue him out of that perspective?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy

A man who sees a wayward young boy taking the Beta path is not out of line to warn him of the ways of men and women.

That kind of talk predates TRP/MRP by about 100,000 years or so.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy

That kind of talk predates TRP/MRP by about 100,000 years or so.

Absolutely. I completely agree with you.

The part where one specific man imparts this knowledge to one particular boy who stands ready to use it against that specific man's daughter... This is new.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

I disagree. You don't think men of old warned their future son-in-laws if the daughter was particularly quarrelsome? I would be surprised if some men didn't warn their future son-in-laws about how often the daughter would need to be beaten in order to keep her rebellious nature in check.

All this guy wants to do is warn the kid not to be a pussy because his girl needs a strong man.

He is not "using this against her" but rather using it FOR her. Now if OP wanted to know how to give Chad tips on how to pump and dump his daughter... that would be new.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

I would be surprised if some men didn't warn their future son-in-laws about how often the daughter would need to be beaten in order to keep her rebellious nature in check.

Oh, I would be extremely surprised if fathers ever commonly advised their sons-in-law to beat their daughters. Before the advent of domestic violence laws, women's families were the ones who served as a check on their husbands. See The Godfather for a very graphic fictional illustration of this.

All this guy wants to do is warn the kid not to be a pussy because his girl needs a strong man... Now if OP wanted to know how to give Chad tips on how to pump and dump his daughter... that would be new.

Fair enough. I was reading it more as the latter rather than the former.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

women's families were the ones who served as a check on their husbands.

This is absolutely true. I believe domestic violence rarely happened in antiquity because wives had lots of brothers and uncles.

However I didn't say "commonly" because such advice would be rather rare and only apply to a subset of hard and obstinate women (like my wife). For women like her...I can certainly imagine my father-in-law warning me not to take lip from her or let her dominate me so give her a warning and then put her over your knee. I cringe at how much better my wife had been if he had....

[–]enj0y_the_decline2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Did you have a father and sisters? This seems like a bizarre scenario someone who was raised by wolves would concoct. Do you have NO loyalty to your own family over a strange man? Why would any woman follow you or submit to you?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

NO loyalty to your own family

We are not talking about a "stranger." We are talking about a future son-in-law. In olden times the Son-In-Law / Father-In-Law relationship was a very important one. The Son-In-Law WAS your family. He was the father of your grandchildren and the husband of your daughter. You certainly owed loyalty to him as well as to your blood.

Dial back the hysteria. I am thinking "Taming of The Shrew" and an arrogant, pampered little princesses who needs a spanking once in a while and you are inferring a terrified woman with broken nose and two black eyes.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He was a fun and exciting kid to start with, now hes boring. Would you say anything or leave it be? He started out with so much potential he reminded me of myself. So I have this instinctual urge to red pill him.

The few times I have opened my mouth and redpilled the willing IRL, it has always come back to backfire upon me.

In this case, even if the poor boy was willing, he's just going to up and dump your daughter. Maybe that could be a good thing for you though.

[–]Username564251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A hard lesson for me to learn was, that I cant help people if they not directly ask for it. I just need to let it go.

Maybe its the same with you.

[–]yes_we_can_t1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps put some classic poetry on your walls somewhere... If he asks about it you might find some subtle way to nudge him in the direction of growing as a person and creating an awesome life for himself and your daughter.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Kahlil Gibran

[–]RPPilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We do not dig in our trash.

That's what I want to tell her, but I and her mom are idiots. We don't know anything, because, you know, "things are different now".

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Come on. If this stuff is in any way congruent with your worldview and personality, you should be able to express ANY RP concept in layman's terms.

She is "being used." Impress upon her the social implications of "being one of many" to a single boy in a small school. Use her desire for status amongst her peers to shame her about sharing. "Are all you girls this basic? I thought girls in your school were strong and independent." "Are you a notch on a bed post?"

U/screechhater is also dead on about rooting through garbage. In lady layman's terms, "You'll never feel strongly for him again. You'll never feel that first 'magic'" (Barf.)

And for a finale, sprinkle a little Disney magic, "You believe that true love is out there, and you know deep in your heart that (insert name) isn't it. Follow your heart."

[–]drty_prRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

"You believe that true love is out there, and you know deep down in your heart that (insert name) isn't it. Follow your heart."

I disagree with this particular part. Seeking true love is what causes a girl to on a string of boyfriends, while looking for "the one". It sets a paradigm of "things went wrong, he wasn't the one, next!".

I suggest more of finding someone who treats you decent, isn't a fag and you're attracted to; also someone who you do the same thing for. Teach her that relationships take work. Teach her to know when to hold em and know when fold em.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recommend that speech as a last resort to get her away from Chad. It's a tactical choice, not a mindset I would ever want ingrained.

I agree with your point.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If this stuff is in any way congruent with your worldview and personality, you should be able to express ANY RP concept in layman's terms.

And...we have a winner. "Don't talk about fight club" DOES NOT mean we don't express our opinion about the state of marriage, the strange fact that men don't seem to want to get married these days, the lack of grandkids, sluttery run amock, traditional values, the true ways of men and women, and so on.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All these men just don't seem to want to "grow up."

"Grow up into what?" Should always be the retort. Who the fuck is anyone to tell a man what he should do with his only life?

[–]RPPilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Good stuff, except for this:

And for a finale, sprinkle a little Disney magic, "You believe that true love is out there, and you know deep in your heart that (insert name) isn't it. Follow your heart."

I regret EVER allowing Disney into my house.

[–]BobbyPeru8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

You don't have to use the term "plate" or talk about where your information comes from.

Your best move is to ask her questions that make her think on her own. Don't accuse him of anything- that will just make her dig into her position. Most likely, this is something she will need to learn on her own. Your job is to be present and lead by example.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is something she will need to learn on her own. Your job is to be present and lead by example

the correct answer. the level of naivete in this thread is epic.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

how do I do it without divulging Fight Club to the wife?

With dating teens, I'd think it would be pretty damn easy to tell your wife that you'd heard about this TheRedPill degeneracy that's corrupting today's youth and that you're concerned it's what boyfriend is doing.

[–]that_italia_guy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hypergamy doesn't care. Ain't no fixing your daughter.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A mistake made and learned from is worth a billion words from someone else pleading for prevention. And emotional pain is quite the cement.

Although kids can come to stupid conclusions if unguided and cast their guesses in concrete.

You have to guide the lesson after the mistakes, but at least if it was painful, it will stick.

Take out the jargon (really not difficult as the jargon had to be learned in the first place), ask leading questions to get her to fill in the blanks... you want her to connect the dots.

Of course, she's more prone to listen to you if she respects your advice in the first place...which generally comes from her perception of you in the household. So make sure your relationship is in order first before you start worrying about your daughters. It's like the oxygen mask on an airplane. You first... then the kid otherwise you can't help anybody.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask your daughter what she wants?

Give her the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.

Then give her the book Necessary Endings by Cloud.

If she can answer the question about what she wants, then these two books will help her define boundaries for her life and end the relationship if she really wants to.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Shotgun?

[–]RPPilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm thinking of telling him all about the new scope I got for my AR. About how it has graduations showing bullet drop out to 400 yards.

And then let that sink in. Kinda like the old Andy Griffith "cleaning the shotgun on the front porch" scene.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she will learn or she will not.

I would just tell her the next time he breaks up with her, that it's not generally a good idea to take a person back that left you. Or that behaved in a way to cause you to leave.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ever read Shakespeare?

Or you could watch a recent episode of Scrubs I watched. A new Alpha doctor was assigned a hot female intern who he set up with the seasoned Dr. Cox, a well known asshole. Then new doc yelled at them both and forbid the hottie intern from seeing Dr. Cox because it was interfering with her performance. Hottie Number 1 left the room and Dr. Cox glared at the intern:

"Do you know that you just signed your own death warrant?"

The New Doc laughed in Older docs face while rolling his eyes: "Dude, you were married for years. Do you not know a single thing about women?"

[–]RPPilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We've gone though similar machinations with her older sister. What we learned during that "phase" was that teenage girls literally don't have fully developed brain functionality for judgement. So it's my job to keep her safe while she's in my care. I don't know for a fact that they're having sex, but I don't know that they're not either. Current BF seems to have a lot of beta tendencies. Today he bought her flowers. But he is also dating other girls, which doesn't seem beta at all.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive-4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

The issue isn't your daughter. The real question is, why are you such a pussy that boys aren't scared of using your 17 year old daughter as a sex toy?

The very few hot women I've met who weren't used up sluts, had alpha fathers/brothers.

The hottest girl in my high school had two big ass brothers who verbally warned every guy to stay away from her.

Fathers are supposed to protect their daughters then hand them off to a worthy Alpha male. That's literally what a wedding ceremony is

[–]Yetna7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have a daughter?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I was with you to the last sentence.

Now I suspect you are 12 and wrote this from your basement. The wedding ceremony hasn't been about this for a very, very long time.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is that not what a wedding signifies?

99% of fathers/husbands are beta phaggots and that's why the sanctity of marriage no longer means shit.

You can't be red pill if you don't OYS when it comes to your daughters/wives. Majority of AWALT only occurs because women don't have men leading them with spines.

In my experience women rebel against their beta fathers/husbands. I rarely see women disrespect men who actually deserved respect and when they do, he puts it down fast.

You guys act like deep down, your daughters want to run around town fucking every crack dealer and violent felon she crosses paths with.

Women don't have the sex drives men do. They can live without dick in them 24/7.

What they can't live without is Alpha leadership. When her dad is a mangina and every Chadley at her private school is a metrosexual nu-male, then she jumps on he biggest baddest dick she sees.

[–]anotherswingingdick-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Removing sunk-cost emotions from this, we end up with the following practical advice:

Dis-own the daughter... then adopt the boyfriend.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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