Lurker on my throwaway. Married. Kids. Wife eats up trp and validates that trp is the kind of man she respects. Pretty good relationship so far.
Couple of nights ago. Little one is sleep training. She's cleaning the kitchen. I've got the baby monitor and am in the kitchen. Little one lets out a noise. Wife says... He's about to cry, go check on him! I tell her I'm looking at it (she's not) and he's ok and just getting settled. She disagrees, escalates, gets louder, repeats herself... Gets hostile. I hold frame, get a little louder but never yell or lose composure, but tell her she's wrong, he's ok.
She then barks back that if I ever talk to her like that again she's taking the kids and leaving. I just look at her dead in the eye, laugh and tell her that that would never happen legally.
I left, walked the dogs. Came back and just said "I'm going to say this only once, don't ever threaten to take my kids away again, or you will regret it." she tried to spin it as my fault saying to not talk to her like that... I shut her down and said that we were only talking about her threat right now and nothing else.
Last few days I've been distant. She asks if I'm still mad (I explained later that the argument was her fault for escalating her tone and that it was unacceptable)... I tell her yes. Today she tries to initiate flirting and I put up with it for a minute and walk away.
Obviously I'm still pissed bc she's using the kids as a pawn over something little. If I acknowledge this, she now knows that it's my weak spot. She has one up on me whenever she needs it. I can suck it up and act like I'm OK, but I'm still pissed and will be for a while. If I didn't have kids I'd next her over something like this. She's a smart girl, successful in her career, as am I, but I lose respect when she acts like that. I could semi understand if I beat her or something, but I'm an amazing husband, even better father, and I wasn't even in the wrong here.