Complimenting her looks

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June 20, 2017

Hey guys,

Would you consider it a bad move (aka blue pill thinking) to compliment your wife when she looks hot? Or is that more a reward behavior type thing, i.e. something you should say as a reward for desired behavior (sex). All the same it's hard to see my wife walk out the door looking great, in her above the knee skirt and lipstick- without saying a word. One of the things I'm trying to work on is dread at the moment though, so I don't want to undermine my own plan.

Post Information
Title Complimenting her looks
Author longboarder550
Upvotes 7
Comments 32
Date 20 June 2017 07:51 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the blue pill

[–]The_LitzRed Beret10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

Complimenting her in the hopes of getting laid is a covert contract - Beta

Complimenting her because she looks good and you do it from frame and building some sexual tension - Alpha

NMMNG is a good read on covert contracts.

[–]2gunsgetsome5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Complimenting her in the hopes of getting laid is a covert contract - Beta

Complimenting her because she looks good and you do it from frame and building some sexual tension - Alpha

To add on to this, make sure the phrasing indicates you and your frame as the source of approval.

"You look hot." vs "I like the way you look today."

"That skirt is sexy." vs "I like that skirt on you."

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you're even further along, sexy smile, look her in the eyes, and say "I approve".

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And even further along... Just a look says it all. I know Mrs. Peru enjoys when I eye fuck her.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone, get out your pens and paper.

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its just beta.

[–]atlhartRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Edit: reread the whole post. You're wife is getting hot for other people. Basically, I wouldn't say anything and instead use it as a reminder that you're an unattractive loser and you're wife knows it. Sidebar. Lift. Be attractive don't be unattractive. Oh, and lift some more

My advice below is for when you're attractive enough that your wife puts this effort in for you.

Reward good behavior. Don't reward bad behavior. Basic psychology.

If your wife puts in the effort to look hot, don't be a fucking autist. Tell her she looks hot and you can tell how hard she worked. This will encourage her to put in the effort to look hot in the future.

[–]lerellen7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You guys are pathetic.

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I know I have to make up a lot of ground in the attractiveness department. I've been very physically fit for the last 4-5 years or so. In my case I believe it is almost entirely non-physical attractiveness that I need to create... being way more alpha, dominant, and perhaps most importantly attractive to other ladies. One huge disservice that I've always done to myself is not flirting with other girls. Even when, as I can now see in retrospect, they were obviously trying to flirt with me...!

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

da fuck?

You know. Sometimes this isn't that hard.

So listen close.


pretty fucking simple.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do what you want to do is pretty bad advice for a lot of guys around here.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only because they don't know.

[–]Offhisgame1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah low iq here most of these buffoons need to be told what and how to act

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For someone like me it doesn't seem so simple (anymore). If I'm over thinking it that's actually great news to me... But red pill thinking is still very foreign and I'm trying my best to do it right.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would say unless she is dressing for YOU to look hot that complements are next kin to self-cucking.

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is it that black and white? Again, she's not dressing in red carpet attire but just looked nice to me. My post is mainly asking about the subtle dynamics that can be created over time... At least that is my concern with this.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah it is. How does her work attire compare to when you guys go out on a date?

If she isn't on the regular wearing "red carpet attire" for you, then understand she is getting dressed for OTHER people. Could be to get validation from other women, or dick from other men. We just don't know enough about your situation.

My wife wears lipstick all the time, and skirts all the time. It doesn't even register to me.

The only time she gets validation from me is when I know she got dressed up for a specific purpose. Such as date night, meeting the girls for brunch or when she comes home drenched in sweat from the gym.

[–]mabden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

compliment your wife when she looks hot?

If she is looking hot for you - complement

If she is looking hot for someone else - stfu

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

Why is she dressing up to go out is the real question here. I compliment my women when they look good, but if I am with a woman she is always fucking me on demand. If your girl is withholding sex then you need to fix you before you compliment her. There is no information or context here. Tell us what your problems are. Is she dressing up for work, to meet friends, to go shopping?

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Sorry my post was too light on specifics. This was this morning as she was leaving for work. I am working from home today (the work dynamic is healthy- I am a manager and she is a worker level person). Her makeup and clothing was not out of the ordinary, she quite frequently dresses as she did today. Our marriage is not sexless either (about once per week), but it used to be much, much worse. At the same time I am aiming for more than once a week, at least twice. I am very new to TRP, so I am trying to understand which of my behaviors are blue pill and to stop those first.

My motivation for complimenting her is mostly about my genuine feeling of letting her know that I think she's looking sexy. if I reflect deeply, there may be some insecurity there that she could feel unappreciated. But I'm learning that that may not be the right way to think about this. Changing my thoughts on this stuff is not easy. Literally my entire adult life I've been in beta mode. Help!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Help!, that is why we are here, relax. First, are you lifting? That is rule No.1. Why only once per week (there are much worse stories so don't freak out yet). No do not compliment her, you sound like the nerd at the school prom telling the queen how pretty she is, fuck me that shit will dry her vagina up. Just get to the gym, focus on your life mission and start acting like a leader. The rest will follow. No compliments is the answer to your question

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Sounds good. What would you say if your girl then asks you directly: "Do I look nice?" this was actually the case this morning since I intuitively resisted complimenting her on my own. And yes- I do lift. Have been since 2013 thank god. I'm within 10% of my ideal body weight at the moment and working out everyday (either cardio or lifting). Also recently dropped about $600 on new clothes, italian shoes and cologne- no more t-shirts, etc.

[–]2gunsgetsome2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What would you say if your girl then asks you directly: "Do I look nice?"

Close the distance, eye contact, put her hand on your junk, "No, hideous." with a smirk or a wink.

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Love it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sounds like you have maxed out your SMV, which makes me smell a rat. If you are fit and well dressed why is the sex infrequent? Maybe she is getting some elsewhere? Was there a specific time period where she started dressing differently? Have you ever had suspicions?

[–]longboarder550[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The new clothing for me was a recent addition. But I believe the main issue with my attractiveness is less physical and more attitude based. I've never had serious suspicions that she is unfaithful. But I'm also not naive enough to say it's impossible. But I don't believe this is the situation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah well your answers are quite evasive and non-committal so it is hard to advise you. You say that the issue is not based on your physical attractiveness and I guess I can accept that. So your personal behaviour is the problem and based on such an idiotic question, should I tell my woman she looks hot? i can accept that. Dude just read the sidebars on TRP and MRP before you come in here asking simplistic and dumb questions.

[–]el_terrible_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

gps tracker on her car. if shes late ect, ask nonchalantly if she had to stay late ect. If you catch her lying, ive got bad news.

[–]TheCuriousJackass0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Low SMV is not the only reason a woman doesn't want to fuck you. There can be literally infinite other reasons. She is depressed, she has a hormonal imbalance, she is sexually repressed, she has health issues. My cousin has a girlfriend who has irritable bowel syndrome, so she's constantly afraid that she's going to fart during a sex act. It took him a long time to get her to relax and feel comfortable. People have all sorts of secrets. Not everything revolves around fucking Chad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sure than can be other reasons, but the reason I suggested can be one of those reasons. I would even suggest that using Occam's razor that my suggested reason is the most likely. Of course that does not mean it is the only reason or that other issues might be at play. I have had plenty of relationships, when the sex begins to go wrong, it is usually due to a loss of attraction. Start at the beginning when working out a problem

[–]shaqtinsmyrule0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude you're asking guys on the internet if you can compiment your own wife. Id that ain't cuck behavior I don't know what is

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're beta for being here, let alone asking other men for permission to compliment your own wife. You think she can't smell the beta on you?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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