How to be proud of yourself?

[deleted] · 2017-06-14T17:26:20+00:00

Accomplish things, it comes automatically

[deleted] · 2017-06-14T14:50:35+00:00

Have you ever mowed your lawn, then when complete grabbed a drink and looked upon the manicured piece of land you own?

That's pride.

Ever built anything? Helped anyone achieve their goal? Soothed the fear of another with your presence?

That's all pride.

The_Litz · 2017-06-14T09:09:51+00:00

Read NMMNG. If you already read it, return and reread it. In fact, reread it annually.

donedreadpirate · 2017-06-14T11:21:00+00:00

Number... Bro... You ask a lot of questions. Generic questions like How to be proud of yourself, communicate better, and get out of the house more often. You ask a lot of questions. I have to wonder, have you tried talking to people and leaving your house? Have you done anything to be proud of? You're asking for quick fixes. Put in the work.

rocknrollchuck · 2017-06-14T13:37:56+00:00

You don't feel proud because your "accomplishments" are things you should have been doing all along. Right now you are building a new foundation for your life (getting the basics down, correcting the deficiencies). Think of it this way: when a builder builds a building, he never looks at the basement and thinks "Wow, that's an AWESOME basement!" But as he completes the first floor and starts to see the finished product taking shape, then he can better visualize the completed project.

You will feel pride and a true sense of accomplishment when you go beyond building the foundation. But you need to take some time and think about what sort of activities and accomplishments you think would bring about what you want.

Just be careful about relying too much on how you feel. Using feelings as a guide is a woman's strategy, not a man's. Men get a sense of accomplishment from achieving worthwhile goals. What are your goals?

Garblix · 2017-06-14T14:13:10+00:00

You sound like your own worst enemy. I don't know if that's something you developed on your own or if it's a result of being around someone like your wife/LTR who may have downplayed anything you've ever done, never recognize any good you've accomplished, or harped on you constantly over the years.

If the latter is the case, that can destroy one's confidence and self esteem for sure. But now that you are swallowing the pill you need to do all you can to not let her, or anyone else, determine your worth or state of mind. I used to look to my wife to be proud of me for my accomplishments and was always disappointed when I didn't get the validation I sought. I realized that I have to be proud of me and not expect it from anyone else, especially my wife. If your relationship is on the rocks she may do all she can to make your accomplishments seem trivial or unimportant. And if you count on her validation and attention to help you, you're going to be in for a bad time. She may be rooting for your failure to confirm her opinion of you.

You feel like a failure and that you have nothing to be proud about? Do something about it. Something besides thinking and talking about it. Achieve something for yourself. No matter how small. Something that will make you happy to accomplish and feel some pride about. You don't have to build something majestic or develop a million dollar idea. You can't change all the failures of your past. You can however start accomplishing minor achievements on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Do this and you will begin looking back at recent accomplishments and it will make you feel more pride in yourself and hopefully propel you to keep on doing more. You will have bad days and uneventful days, and wonder if it's worth it, but just keep working and not giving up. When you have a bad stretch here and there, if you've previously been accomplishing things and building yourself up to be a better person, on those bad days you will have a few things to look back on and say "Well hey, I have gotten this and that done and bettered myself. I need to feel good about it, keep working, and realize that bad times will pass."

Don't count on anyone to help you, cheer you on, or tell you how far you've come. You do it for you. Others will eventually notice and make note, just don't use that as motivation or count on it.

straius · 2017-06-14T14:48:56+00:00

Sounds like you have a bigger issue with guilt than validation. You're gonna have to find a way to forgive yourself your past failures or you'll never move past them. You're still stuck in the past which is why your progress doesn't feel real.

You gotta look ahead. It takes time to change your body and longer to change your mind.

thunderbeyond · 2017-06-14T15:17:06+00:00

You're here. You're posting on OYS. You're contributing to the forum.

That's more than a lot of beta fucks do. And I bet no-one in your family/town knows this, right? Its for you. You're not looking for validation from a bunch of internet strangers, are you? This is for you. And to look at yourself, realise you could be better, that is something that takes courage.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Title	How to be proud of yourself?
Author	number123356
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	June 14, 2017 6:12 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6h5p4i/how_to_be_proud_of_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-to-be-proud-of-yourself.206014 https://theredarchive.com/post/206014