The "you're looking at other women" shit test

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June 5, 2017

This was handled much better than in years past, but there's still room for improvement. At the beach over the weekend. At one point, I'm further out in the waves with our daughter, she's further in with the little kids. I'm enjoying the sight of a tight Asian girl coming out into the water. When I bodysurfed in, she says "I saw you looking at that ugly Asian girl".

Many years ago, I DEERed all accusations of looking. This sometimes resulted in long running arguments. About 6-7 years ago I quit giving a shit. I'd just grunt or ignore her. This time, I told her I like brown girls, but prefer Latin ass (my wife is Latina), swat her ass, and then headed back out in the waves.

Next time I come in, she's on me, wanting a kiss, playing in the waves, clinging on as I pull her further out (she doesn't swim well, I'm muscular and a strong swimmer). She used to bitch about going more than knee deep, getting hair wet, etc. today she's laughing at having waves crash over her and me keeping her upright.

Decent passage of a shit test had solid results, but it seems like better can be had with further AA and AM. What has worked well for you guys in these types of shit tests?

Post Information
Title The "you're looking at other women" shit test
Author repairedandwhole
Upvotes 12
Comments 24
Date 05 June 2017 01:41 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

"What do you think of her shoes?"

"Her butt is bigger than yours."

"She's cute, but she could learn a lot from you on dressing well."

"How old do you think she is?"

"She's a hot one."

[–]anythingincRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

The 5'8" blonde in the floral maxi dress with the Michael Kors watch sitting in the northwest corner of the patio eating tapas and sharing a pitcher of sangria with her mom? No, I absolutely did NOT see her.

I find the dichotomy between confirming that I was looking and then vehemently denying it generates a great mix of feelz, facial expressions, and saucy banter.

GF knows I only notice people if they are put together well so we usually notice the same people at the same time anyway and no denials are needed, just a nod of agreement that person brought their A-Game today and then maybe a mutual critique.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

H: "youre checking out that girl"

Y: "just returning the favor" smirk

[–]TopOfTheEighth1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"She started it."

[–]drty_prRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Recognizing that:

a) it is a shit test

b) she knows you check out other chick's

c) she doesn't want a little pussy who cares what his wife thinks about other women

Side note: if you're staring at bitches trying to create some lame dread, stop it

[–]this_weeks_account20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. I second this - women know men check out other women, she's purely trying to keep you in her frame saying that she "caught you" doing something you aren't allowed to do.

Tell her she was checking you out first, or you really liked the chick's hair.

Keep her on her toes.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Rice and beans are awesome everyday, but sometimes a man wants some Sushi."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"There was an ugly one?"

" Yes, was seeing if that bathing suit would look good on you"

" yes, yes you did"

notice she didnt say its bad or inappropriate. For that shit its usually "its only a problem when I stop looking"

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Yeah, but she looked at me first."

"I was just watching her watching you. I think she's down for a threesome. "

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha my wife does this from time to time when we watch the news at night. Every channel here except one has extremely hot weather girls. My wife used to say "She's ugly. Don't you think she's ugly?" I tell her the truth "No, she's actually pretty sexy." or "Her face is alright, but she's got a bangin' body!" or "I bet she looks fantastic in a bikini!"

She still gives me crap about it sometimes "Oh there's your favorite weather girl" and I'll just say "Oh hey thanks, I would have missed it. Man, that dress really looks good on her doesn't it?" Then I transition to "I bet that dress would look pretty sexy on you too" and then "but I think you look better in lingerie, and naked is always a good look for you too." Then I lift her shirt up and start playing with her tits "MAN, look at these babies! Let's get a close-up!" and escalate from there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be playful and give zero fucks about her fake anger.

Wife: "You are looking at other women!"

Me "My boyfriend accuses me of the same thing"

Watch for puddles in her yoga pants

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Yes. She's pretty hot."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not feeling guilty of my response.

[–]chachaChad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good for you and thanks for reminding us about passing shit tests.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In all cases smacking ass, passionate kiss, hungry wolf look...some sort of sexual touching is advised. Remember. Words are meaningless. Action speaks more. One way to do this is to make your words incongruent with your actions.

of course. we need someone to clean the house, the kids.

Was I keeping it a secret?

EEEEyup...I saw you looking too. Wasn't she cute

Yeah. She reminded me of my 6h grade teacher

[–]WisdomTangoFoxtrot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So this plagued me for a while and it took me some time to dial it in. Lifting and increasing my DL helped immensely. This is my assessment of this:

It's a shit test:

They assess: Are you a man who can own their sexuality? Yes or no.

What to do: A&M. "I was trying to think if I needed to put a bag over her head while I was sport fucking her."

It's a comfort test:

They assess: Are you checking out escape options? Yes or no.

What to do: A&A. Push and pull this. Lean into the insecurity...and then tuck it back in. "What? I don't go shopping for girls at the beach. I've already picked out which of your friends/sister/etc is going to replace you." Then bear hug..."Come here. It's going to be 'ok'. That awful ugly Asian can't steal me from you."

It's shitty behavior:

Assess: If it escalates into anything other than her being embarrassed for seeking comfort on it. (i.e. If you are unable to remind her, she is silly for testing an alpha or that she is silly for seeking comfort and ruining the day.)

What to do: You need to come back strong and with boundaries. "We're not dealing with your insecurities on this right now and I'm not having you ruin a day at the beach. If you keep it up, I'm going to do more than just look at her. And the next one. And the next one." Hopefully, you've already engaged in this manner well before it's public. However, if you haven't. STFU. Don't be butt hurt. And own this in private with her later.

This is something that needs to be leveled back on her. Women expect you to make them "feel" good about themselves. However, that isn't your job when it crosses making you feel bad about yourself, exerting power or control over you, or in otherwise being shitty.

This time, I told her I like brown girls, but prefer Latin ass (my wife is Latina), swat her ass, and then headed back out in the waves.

This was solid.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Had an old girlfriend that did this, I included her in the game of picking out hot women. Once it became a game, she'd point a girl out I hadn't seen as often as not and I never heard another complaint.

Some friends got some good results with that approach too. YMMV.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yes. I look at other women. I'm a man.

[–]atlhartRed Beret6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think this is a terrible response because it's not fun. It doesn't produce tingles. It makes you sound gross and creepy.

Always be fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Frame, owning your shit. Funny is one way to go, but she repeatedly is shittesting him on this. This'll shut it down.

Men look at women.

Agreed that staring or the old "long up and down" checkout is creepy, but men look at women. Innately. Lying to yourself if you think otherwise.

[–]atlhartRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But there's plenty of responses that own the behavior and also are fun. OP's response was better that yours, and he's trying to improve from there.

"Men look at women" is something out of /r/AutisticRedPill

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You got me. I was convinced that was really a sub.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mrssmithhh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Took me AGES to figure out that just because a man looks at a woman it doesn't mean he is already replacing me. I had some big hang ups when I saw my husband check out other girls - I immediately felt abandoned. Sometimes the wife/gf/LTR just has her own issues about relationships and needs to know that she can trust her man to be a man, and that him being a man does not mean pain and abandonment. A lot of times it just takes accepting the differences between the genders and trusting in all the noble, heroic parts of masculinity.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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