Background: married 17 years; lifelong Nice Guy; sex on her schedule once a month or so for past few years.
I started reading SALSM, MMSLP, and NMMNG concurrently about 2 weeks ago and have started doing SL5x5 religiously. Working on OI and owning my shit. (See for example this post about my still weak OI and covert contract skillz.)
Several times a month, I'll try to initiate sex at bed time. Sometimes she wants it, usually she doesn't. Sometimes, to my shame, I've asked for sex verbally; she usually says she's willing, but it rarely results in actual sex, of course.
So the evidence says she's not attracted to me and i need to improve myself, so I'm working on that by reading and lifting and eventually more.
My question is, while I'm working on all this, what are the pros and cons of either continuing to initiate (hit or miss) sex vs just not bothering?
EDIT: I probably should also work on my seduction/escalation skills. I rarely perceive any arousal cues from her until I've applied several minutes of clumsy groping, if at all.