Since finding MRP maybe a year or so ago I have been working to internalize the sidebar, but mostly books like Pook and SGM have helped me the most to get a higher quality lay from my wife. The rest of the sidebar was great to internalize and understand those topics, but I have always had a good mix of AF/BB so our relationship since HS has been in my frame for 99% of our time together.
Sex with the wife is fine, however I have done my best to move sex from an event that happens “after the kids go to bed” to whenever and wherever. This has been great, and we still do the night sex but it is the 2nd session of the day or something. I like to unwind by 7-8pm and sex just amps me back up and I have a hard time sleeping and turning the brain off. This is during the week mind you, on the weekend I’m down for whatever, but during the week I’m up at 5am to start my day.
I have been working on a new business venture for myself and am about ready to pull the trigger, so as a result a good deal of my mental energy is focused on that. The last few nights around 8pm when I am about ready to meditate or something the wife has tried to initiate sex.
The first night this happened, I’ll be honest she got on top and I gave her male starfish sex. The second night I was a little more awake and took control. Last night however it would have been 2x that day – I gave her a soft NO at 9pm, then a slightly harder soft NO at 9:30 when the lights were out. She got super butt hurt and asked why I play with her all day just to reject her at night. I tried to AA, but it was only half accepted. This morning I have gotten a few comfort test texts from her so I can tell she isn’t over it – which is fine.
Athol talks about guys rejecting sex, and that once they do this the woman is highly turned off, but being married changes that dynamic a little but the message he has is tread with caution.
So my question is – I work remote, so I spend a good part of my day bouncing between Starbucks, or wherever that has good high speed internet. Wife is a SAHM so today I think a little comfort is in order after last night. Something along the lines of “You know I am starting the new business up, and that has been at the forefront of my mind – last night was about me not you” then proceed with noon sex or some AM if necessary. I am feeling the need to give her a little comfort, but don’t want to overdo it. Thoughts?
My other question is – if you pillow has a zipper do you put the zipper on the inside of the pillow case or the outside part that is open so you always see the zipper?