So, I have come a long way in a year or two of MRP. From being spineless and having no frame and not knowing a shit test to save my life. Treating comfort tests like shit tests and treating shit tests like comfort tests. Threatening to leave the relationship several times.

Warning cringe worthy BP shit ahead:

We were long distance and I broke up with her and she started fucking another dude, let's call him john. I got jealous and tried to get back with her and she agreed to get back together but didn't stop fucking the other dude, he was local, I was cross country. I find out and flip shit. I tell her to move to where I am and she complies.

She is irresponsible, ditzy, and insecure as fuck. I can't stand it and constantly nag the absolute fuck out of her expecting her to clean cook and shit but also to be my ideal woman, responsible with money, responsible with timely attendance to obligations such as appointments, and to habe dinner ready when I get home ect. I of course bitch and complain about it not being done. So, meanwhile, I am constantly going through her phone, checking if she's sleeping around, insecure as fuck about her sleeping with the guy she kept fucking after I jealously got back with her. AWALT?

I get married to her because I want to help her with her daughter and us being married makes her court case for custody so much stronger. I also make extra money if were married, like 1k a month. Nice pay increase I think to myself. Stupid.

We are doing the swapping the kids back and forth between parents thing and I am involved in discipline of the child. Never once had I hurt her child in a bad way. I spanked her the day prior to her returning to her father who took pictures of her butt, which was pink... NO bruises or anything, this was not child abuse. They couldn't even go to DHR or anything... it was plain and simple just not. The pictures however were enough to cause her to lose her custody battle. We took pictures too and I've showed them to people including people trained in child abuse and they said there's no way it was. However, the pictures he had, her lawyer said they used a special lens and bulb to make pink after a spanking look like blood red lines. Side by side literally no one knows how they were so different. My wife even knew I hadn't done anything wrong. But because of this the lawyer recommended settling out of court to not even let anything go before the judge like that and re attack the case a year later. My wife now blames me for her not having her child.

Continuing on, this whole time, she is also acting BPD as fuck. Certainly not innocent in the matter. She can't control her anxiety, solves arguments by screaming and slamming doors and leaving randomly, cussing as loud as she can get. All before and after ger custody case. How she was raised. I read MRP and learn not to argue and scream back, I learn how to guide her into healthy communication methods. It works. I meanwhile get pissed drunk on weekends, dance and flirt with other girls because I am paranoid and miserable with a girl who I saw as having cheated on me, and who freaks out over shit like nuclear every time. I didn't realize I'm promoting it by constantly arguing with her like a faggot, adding fuel to the fire. Meanwhile her irresponsibility is driving me fucking crazy. My dancing and flirting with girls drove her mad with dread at first, but then it wore off. She refused to go out, started hating it... but would always go and rescue my drunk stupid ass.

She is very self centered as in never thinks of anyone but her self... unless you ask her to do something, she ALWAYS complies, always agrees. I've never not gotten sex from her. I look great, lift, great job, SMV is high except my behavior.

I throw a pissy fit and scream I'm going to divorse her because she wanted to go back to Alabama to see her friends and it was the week I took off to spend time together. I got pissed because she didn't think on her own to stay, she just saw free time in our schedule and wanted to go, said she thought I'd go to despite never inviting me... nonetheless I get ass hurt and tell her she's selfish not realizing that the time was suppose to be for us to spend time together. I bet a million dollars if I would have asked to go she would have wanted me to or if I said I will be staying where I am and I was expecting her to spend time together she would have done it no hesitation. I used covert contracts like crack. This girl is very airheaded, I didn't feel thought about, and was pissed. I get so mad I demand a divorse.

The next day she doesn't come home. I call her and she had just left and wouldn't tell me where she was. I got what I deserved here, she had gone to a guys house she worked with.... weekend i first asked she lied about where she was. But I knew better. I push it, and caught her. luckily I knew she just left and she freaked out felt guilty and came home. I started dividing our assets and called her all kinds of names, she did what any girl would do when threatened to be left, she was about to saying branches, yet I was expecting she would chase me. I threatened her with divorce the night before because i was pissed and expected to be chased. Fucking loser I am. I didn't divorce her, and we stayed together. I berated her everyday used shaming tactics on her for doing it. I yet again felt betrayed by het not chasing me. I made her miserable. I left for work for 2 weeks, and that's when I saw the snapchat. I flipped out, she deleted the account. Promised never to do Snapchat while we were together.

When we first met she had many guys friends who she sought validation from. After what happened with her sleeping with john when I got jealous and tried dating her again she agreed to, and stopped, seeking validation from guys she's never text or fb messages anyone. She doesn't like going out, doesn't dress slutty, no guys friends, no red flags.

The redflags she showed with the guy from her job I feel like I induced by my clear cut retarded behavior breaking it off then expecting her to chase me... then showing mate guarding, I practically begged her to continue talking to him.

This was 8 months ago.

During this 8 months I decide not to have a family with her anytime soon, and I also seperate our finances, and ask her to move out into an apartment.

I asked her to seperate finances because she would miss work, not wake up in time, get speeding tickets, have random bills... all stressed me out when I try to have a solid budget. I asked her to move out because I couldn't take the yelling and screaming and arguing anymore. I tell her I don't want a family with her for atleast 2 years because we aren't a good match enough yet for that.

After some time things get better, she moves back in but that's all. I stopped helping her at all financially because she was being irresponsible with money. Sometimes this would mean she wouldn't have enough to see her child and she would have to get it from her parents which would ask why wouldn't I help her. I also stopped helping her with her custody case at all. She didn't follow my guidance and would do things that would hurt her case and I get frustrated she kept slipping up.

Now, I didn't internalize the MRP ways until recently. I only started because we has another huge argument 2 weeks ago and I yet again threatened divorce and she changed this time. She didn't get upset... She didn't give a fuck, she said yeah, I'll leave. Totally fucked me. I would have divorced her but I didn't know all what was involved and was intimidated by the process so I back pedalled, huge BP move one the ultimatum, and not being prepared to execute it, and backing out. 3 strikes.

For the past 2 years I have met her shit tests with comfort to make her feel better and avoid upsetting her and I met her comfort tests with talking shit playfully, never being sweet to her at all... reading MMSLP you gotta have some beta traits... As in how sweet you are to her when she is sweet to you first... not beta as in DLV bitch boy whining. I got on MRP and you guys ripped me a new ass for being a total asshole idiot.

I went home and apologized for the way I've acted. Told her I fucked up, I wouldn't do it anymore. I gave her a bucket to let it all out. She said she didn't believe I would change... but I knew I wanted to change for me, to be a better person, to be a rock in my own world and a secure place for my loved ones to hang onto if needed, the oak.

This past 2 weeks I've done intense RP work, focusing hard on A, not arguing, B, encouraging good behavior, C, doing things that are super fun and spontaneous.

I finally got her back on board a little bit. I got some smiles, some I love yous, and some baby tell me you love me, I wanna cuddle, ect. Finally. However, here's the problem.

The night I talked to her and apologized, she showed me signs of rewriting the whole story... just as we've said women do. She was telling me she realized things weren't so bad with her ex. That she was immature and caused their problems. (Things were horrible with her ex). She said she wants a family, wants to be happy. She feels empty, and shit. She said she felt happy with her ex at times, and our relationship is missing something. I just let her get it all out.

This weekend after only 2 weeks of things going smooth, me living my life, boxing, continuing to work out, ect she has to go see her child for mothers day. She sees her ex friday to pick up her daughter of course and then Sunday plans a secret meeting with him Monday morning. She met up at dennies for like an hour and talked about her daughter with him. Then talked about their past and apologized for how she acted with him. I call at 1030 which was shortly after she left and she is super guilty sounding and I know something is up. I press for information and she openly tells me she met with him. She felt guilty because she know she should have told me she was going to. She said it was to talk about natalie, and I told her if that was true, you wouldn't keep it a secret, and you wouldn't feel guilty. She knows I'm right. I know for sure she was at dennies and didn't do anything because I saw her location history on her phone. She did however write a note in her phone in like a diary type format she didnt expect me to read saying how she isn't angry with him anymore, how she realized she loves him and wishes for that life back.

I read the note because we both are not off limits with our phones and she left hers at work. I brought it to her and got curious. Not cool I know.

Part of me understands, I've been a total fucking moron to her and didn't realize it until recently. I changed a fucking lot in a short amount of time, stopped drinking, learn to give vision, learn to reward positive growth instead of pure punishment, learned shit tests, passing them instead of arguing ect. It had great results she was saying she was happy again, acting happy again.... I was happy too.... then she saw him and rationalized that she hates us and that's why she went and saw him and didn't mean what she said about loving him and she wants me ect... her own words. I know what happened, I beat her with my bluepill bullshit until she started fantasizing about her past, when she had her daughter. It wasn't until she had her daughter all weekend she really wanted him again. I truly think it's related. Plus what MMSLP says about exes and how easy it is to go back because of history. I think she doesn't miss him, she misses not being beaten with BP behaviors.

My question is simple, I am stuck between feeling betrayed for her lying by omission about meeting someone behind my back I know she did out of sexual interest and leaving. I have divorce papers she doesn't know about. I want to fix this meaning, I am going to continue to lift, stay in my hobbies, get better and better at passing her tests and comfort her when it's right. I know I've been fucking stupid. I want to know the best way to handle this situation to keep the relationship, without doing my typical bullshit bitching or pretending to leave, or what ever. I want to handle my life RP and dealing with a situation like this is how I need to.

I want to make it clear I won't tolerate her lying. I do want to give it a try doing the right RP actions, leading by actions and example, no more ultimatums or bullshit. Like I finally think I get most of this shit because I can look back and see everything I've done wrong... even the recent shit about looking in her phone. Habits I am breaking and stopping myself from doing now.

I don't know how to set this boundary about not lying although I practically earned it. I can't let her think I'll just let it go, but I want to stay to fix this situation too. I didn't know how to set boundaries at all in the past accept bitching and complaining. Smaller boundaries I've learned how to set, I've used the assertive training well. But something this large, I need perspective on how to set without doing it in a bitching way.

She is still sexually attracted to me, we do anything I want sexually, it's as often as I want. I really just think I have driven her into the ground emotionally on the comfort and leading portion of being captain...

Wanted to address one thing too, this isn't me trying to complain, or woe is me. I'm genuinely giving background information of ways I acted to emphasize ways I fucked up. I a knowledge it's my fault, I caused it, and I must fix it. In order to understand what might fix it, I wanted to make sure it was known what happened. I don't need or want sympathy and I know i wouldn't get it here anyways. I do want genuine advice on working on myself. I have read nmmng, WISNIFG, half of mmslp, I'm on the third black phillip show, and more. I was so far from this shit I've had to relearn my entire way of being. The concepts of WISNIFG still click randomly for me as I get better at each one, another thing becomes more clear. It's amazing what it's fine for me. I used to take multiple antidepressants and anxiety medication, but I don't need them any longer because I've learned how to speak up for myself, get out and make friends, work out, ect. Turned my life around so far.