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Question about OYS, STFU and not talking about fight club.

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May 15, 2017

Noob here with some questions. Been reading and lifting since January. About halfway done with required reading (although I will be rereading most of them to help internalize the messages). My question comes from a recent talk with my ltr. About a month or 2 ago she noticed my bettering myself, and she started to worry about if my improvements would lead me to leave her. With this thought she started going through my reddit post history and then the questions started about trp and mrp. I admit at first I did DEER a bit. But then just STFU. I am attempting to own my shit and hold myself accountable; however I am apprehensive about posting on reddit for questions or FR because I know she is looking. My question is should I just create a new user id (this seems to be running from or hiding the issue) or should I just NGAF. I don't want t ok talk about fight club. Anyway off to go lift.

Post Information
Title Question about OYS, STFU and not talking about fight club.
Author rejonkulous
Upvotes 7
Comments 31
Date 15 May 2017 04:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
DEERtestosteronelong term relationshipliftthe red pillfield report

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

guys know their wives well enough to answer this on an individual basis.

Anyway. she would likely not understand or care. You have no need to tell her anything other than that you are doing things you want to do. - if even that

[–]CasperTFG_8081 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have to agree, my wife does not use Reddit, isn't the suspicious type and doesn't care to understand any of this. So I don't hide shit, if I did she would probably become suspicious.

When she asks what I'm reading (NMMNG) and why I'm reading that, I simply say I am working on being a better me, end of discussion.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.02 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am new to MRP as well. The first thing I internalized is doing everything the best you can and not look for short cuts. It is a complete mental shift. This includes not only your day to day routine things but EVERYTHING you do. It means don't just do something without thinking about the best way of doing it. For example, seeing everywhere that the first rule of Fight Club is not to talk about it and then using the same account you post on every other reddit sub. If you thought for a second your wife has an ounce of computer knowledge, you shouldn't have done it. It also includes not using your shared family amazon account to order all the sidebar reading. Its the details.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your call.

Guys that have been doxed by their LTR/Wife report a much harder process because the woman is looking over their shoulder.

Thing is either way you have it tough going forward. She will want to research this thing RP.

your path is clear. get frame quick. hard. and fast. As /u/scurvemuch says. It's becasue you want to. She can come along or not.

Just as they always can. Nothing really changes.

[–]captain_my_captain220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This. My wife was visiting 'fight club' just yesterday (because of my piss poor opsec in the past) and the shit tests come hard and fast and use our vocab, it's fun when she asks 'so are you holding frame?'.

Don't be stupid, like me. DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

[–]NightFire452 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I do and I'm not worried about it. I told her about No More Mr. Nice Guy and loaded it onto her E-Reader. Best rule I have taken is no more hiding and no more lying. IDGAF if she knows what kind of porn I watch or what I post on Reddit. If she uses that as ammo against you then it's time to exit anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (20 children) | Copy

IMO there needs to be some distance in a close relationship. Not honoring that need for some distance has brought many men here.

Expose your soul to a woman, and she loses attraction for you.

What goes on in my head, is my business.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy

I look at it this way, I own all this shit. Good, bad, or indifferent.

I'll share what I want.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy

Owning all your shit, is no small accomplishment. I am still killing my faggotry.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy

I dunno man. Haven't heard you talk about raging, or schlupping the neighbourhood lately.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

Rage is under control - was an entitled anger. Taking awhile to kill it, but I'm gaining and my faggotry is losing.

I am a validation seeking faggot, stuck in the past, that does not properly game his wife. I have important work to do on my mind, body and spirit before I consider cheating. I am too big of a faggot to handle the distractions of new pussy at this time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Damn. I can see why guys retire to their haciendas in southern France. Have you ever considered getting off the grid and getting more sunshine?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Along with:

I have important work to do on my mind, body and spirit before I consider cheating

Enjoying myself while I do these. I see a light at the end of the tunnel that gets brighter each day. .....and getting lots of sun, too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm finding something similar. For the past half decade, I've essentially only relaxed and enjoyed myself in foreign ports. Work 40-60 hour weeks, take a university degree for another 30-40...

I'm honestly having to learn how to relax and enjoy myself more. Would love to hear how you find your groove

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I don't think we are wired the same, that my simplistic ways would be of any help to you. BUT you make an important point about foreign ports. Even a 1-3 hour drive, can put you in a different setting, a foreign port. Changes your view. Don't have to go to Portugal for that.

I go camping, a lot. I've got a camper van I really like. In fact, it was made in Kitchener Canada. I enjoy the quiet and just a connection with a different place. Yes, it can do 5-7 days off grid too. Also, going to the locals bullshit flea markets and eating little local places. Not living large, living small. Less is more. Simple stuff and nothing fancy. I spent my life after more and bigger, was OK then, now it's different. But I'm retired, changes your view.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not wired so different.

Know what the hardest part about my new upscale living is? That I don't have a shitty dive bar within walking distance. Was one of the few things my dad taught me. There are no shitholes where I live.

Is good to see avoiding 'bigger and more' is paying dividends. You'd be surprised how simply my life is.

Do keep posting little gems here and there. I plan on leeching as much value from you as I can.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

You're also too old to be holding grudges, even if they are against yourself.

Don't you deserve to be forgiven? Job has the job already. Find your fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

You're also too old to be holding grudges, even if they are against yourself.

Absolutely agree.

Don't you deserve to be forgiven?

Yes. Yes, no doubt.

Find your fun.

I am. More every day. Along with the work, comes freedom.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Bah, fuck forgiveness, it's just feelings anyways.

Collective shrug, "Was the worlds fault for creating an asshole" and move on.

Men lie to themselves all the time, why not have it work for you, for once?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Men lie to themselves all the time, why not have it work for you, for once?

Having it work for me, that is the key. It's the lies that don't work that have to go. Two part process, out with the old and in with he new. Fact is, I've checked out of the marriage so much that all of it is getting easier. I'm too old to go off half baked. Re-checking myself before I "stay or go". Probably should start posting in OYS again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I really wish I had saved the piece that referred to 'somewhat checking out'

The thrust was, that a man needs to always be somewhat checked out, it keeps the girl interested. I've seen wonderful successes by this. Granted, it's a weird situation, where you have to stop enjoying what you have so much, in order to have it as enjoyable.

Calibration to that sweet spot is a fun little challenge.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men lie to themselves all the time, why not have it work for you, for once?

That question has been running around in my head all night... Thanks.

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What goes on in my head, is my business.

This is why I despise someone reading my text messages. They are my private conversations. If I want to tell you what I told my friend, I'll fuckin tell you!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

2 options, best will depend on you as individual and your personal relationship.

A) DGAF. Let her snoop if she wants, you are fixing you and she may or may not be around for the end result. If she is she's fully accepted her new captain, if she blows up you would have ended up leaving her anyway. This is the honest path, but it's a tough one to walk and you better be one stoic motherfucker.

B) Dive deep and hide.....for now. If you feel your frame is weak and you're coming from a 100% blue pill position, this is the low road but likely the more successful one. No you shouldn't have to hide, but if you have that much work to do you lose this battle to win the war. Go covert in your reading, fog at every opportunity until you get your head to a point where you establish some frame of your own.

Both can be a good choice, it depends on your specifics. Like it's often mentioned here, you have to do you.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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