Well, I have been doing really well after swallowing trp and applying it to my marriage but every now and then I find myself in a situation where I need to turn to the community for some advice.
Pre-rp, my wife and I were considering divorce. She had spent a few weekends at her mom and stepdads house. One evening, she was texting me that she had been put in a severely awkward situation. Her parents (stepdad, not real dad) took my wife out to the bar and invited their neighbors from across the street. They were trying to set my wife up with their son.
Apparently he was a grungy type, unclean, weak... But she was texting me the entire evening about how stupid they were, that she was pissed... yada. Of course, you know I was pissed. I couldn't believe her parents were doing this... how shitty, how low. Then again, I was a scrub myself.
Shortly after, I stumbled across trp and began righting my ship. Just as you would expect, it was a bumpy ride as I had to learn to control my emotions, remain stoic, lift, and change a number of other beta behaviors. But it's a part of me now.
From that moment when I decided to change, I let go of the past. I was always talking to other women (nudes, tinder, texting, etc), I was mean, not funny, always complaining. I was ashamed of how little of a man I was. But letting go of the past also meant that I had to let go of the anger from this little incident with the in laws. Afterall, I don't believe my wife cheated anyway. She had called while her and her mom were fighting because my wife thinks it was shitty of her parents to do also. She couldnt wait to get home (or so she said, and then came back early the next day) Thankfully the guy wasn't Chad because who knows how that would have gone.
So, that was in January of 2016. Just recently, in March 2017, my wife threw a party for her mom's 50th birthday. Stepdad dropped the ball and was only planning a dinner for my mother in law and his daughter from another marriage... idiot...
But the party was awesome. We were all drinking, step dad in law had his buddies over. And then I sat down at the table only to come face to face with the woman and man from across the street... you know... the ones with the son? Ha, shit only went south from there.
She asked who I was, I told I'm married to Julie's daughter, she says "Ohh, I thought you guys were divorced?" At first I laughed and said no way. The woman was confused and began to ask a lot of questions. At which point, I turned to my wife's stepdad and gave him the business. Telling him how inappropriate this was, how shameful it was that he would try to hook my wife up with another man.
It escalated, he told me to leave (as I already was walking out the door because I didn't wanna lose it) But then him and his buddies followed me. Now I went off. He said I was stupid for getting upset, I told him he was stupid for marrying a gold digger, he got in my face, I told him "Back off old man, or I'll knock your fucking eye straight" (he has a severe lazy eye) and then that was it. I left, and btw, was by no means drunk. My wife had our 2nd car there because she came to the party early. So I knew I could just go. And I did. She left right after I did.
So now there's a bit of a rift within the family. My wife has my back and has repeatedly told her mom that her and her stepdad were the ones in the wrong. I can see how I overreacted, but I still do NOT feel like I should apologize. I hate the idea, especially when I feel that they should apologize to me, if anything, for being despicable parents and doing what they did
Look, I know I lost my cool, but I don't want this wedge within the family. I also do not feel sorry for one thing I said.
Tell me what y'all think.
TL;DR : In laws tried setting wife up with another man. A year later, stepdad in law invites all of us over, I lose my shit, told him off. Now mother in law demands an apology. Which I probably will not give but I just want to hear what the good fellas at MRP have to say about this.
My in laws make me feel like I'm living in the damn twilight zone... But I know where my center is.