I rejected the starfish [FR]

bogeyd6 · 2017-05-09T18:51:47+00:00

I acted like everything was fine

was it?

Texted the wife a picture of us having fun.

That'll show her!

I discretely took of her ass as she was bending over to pick something up earlier in the day.

This is new to me. Anyone else know if this is a thing or not?

Decent ending, A few tweaks in being deliberate, but you had a goal and reached it, thats the goal right?

bogeyd6 · 2017-05-09T19:06:22+00:00

This is a pretty good FR but I wouldn't break your wrist jerking yourself off just yet. Good sex is your department and if this is something that keeps occurring you need to rethink your overall strategy. You are missing alot of the DEVI but you are also trying to pull this off too soon. If she is not receptive you are not valuable enough yet. Take a moment to work over where you are missing in the overall dominance of your household that has led her to be the leader in the bedroom.

RPJMRP · 2017-05-09T20:41:38+00:00

Good post, congrats on the win, and it is a win. But you are still in her frame a good bit. I know that is a term thrown around a lot around these parts so let me illustrate a few things to you.

First, you obviously implored some acting and covert contracts through this process.

For instance, "I would normally be a butt hurt bitch over this, but I had mentally prepared to reject the starfish and knew this would be the outcome" - This is a bit of "fake it to you make it." That's cool, we all have to start somewhere.

However, what would have happened if you would have dove into the process? If you would have talked dirty why holding her from behind and fingering her? When she demurred if you jumped into an aggressive position and tried again? You engaged in ego protection. You were scared to be vulnerable. This is unattractive. The high-value man isn't butthurt when he gets rejected because he understands there are more than one option. He rarely gets rejected because he acts like there is more than one option.

You went into this process looking to fail. You were guarding your ego. You told yourself, "I bet this low-value harpy tries to give me starfish again." So you set the expectation that you would accept the starfish sex, then you flipped the script and essentially said "This isn't going to work." Why fake it at all? Internalize this shit and stop waiting for her to respond the way you want. Make your frame so robust that she can't leave that arena.

Stop testing her. That is a woman's game and you will lose it in the long run. Be direct in your intentions. If you want rough sex, initiate roughly. If you want kinky sex, then toss her a ball gag and put on a cocky smile.

You're the man she wants to be in bed with right? If you are that type of man, then why are you leaving it to her to initiate? Why are you setting up for the "sideways" sex you don't like?

Again, congrats on the progress, but don't forget your end goal. You won't win this game long term. You are playing checkers. She is playing chess. The testing bullshit is her world.

It's easier to just be a high value man than fake being one. On a side note, good job owning shit with your kids.

[deleted] · 2017-05-09T23:19:53+00:00

Combination of powerful factors here everyone should take note on. OP does not fake his DNGAF mindset in order to punish his wife, he truly DNGAF. OI goes hand in hand with this. He initiates and is prepared for the rejection but does not stop gaming his wife in the aftermath. This sends the message to her that she cannot punish or control him through denying him sex. Her emotions also do not sway him from his MAP. Good FR, sir, keep up the good fight.

BobbyPeru · 2017-05-09T23:30:11+00:00

Don't DEER, especially during sex.

Also, you're kidding yourself if you think she didn't see your butthurt. As soon as you defended, the butthurt became visible.

thunderbeyond · 2017-05-10T12:19:46+00:00

Good FR, nice result and you have acknowledged you're still on the path.

TheMiniLiar · 2017-05-11T12:49:58+00:00

Congratulations on mentally abusing your wife. Big mannnnn here making your wife cry so that you can manipulate her into having sex the way you want it. Instead of just idk having a conversation with her about it. In complete seriousness dude this is like the dictionary definition of emotionally manipulating someone. Get counseling

[deleted] · 2017-05-10T00:24:51+00:00

A couple of concerns, though overall it's a huge improvement over the usual victim puke/ validate through her bullshit that comes here.

Overall good, congrats you're making progress. On mobile here so specific quotes aren't easy:

"Request a blowjob"- no dude that ever deserved a blowjob had to request one. If she isn't volunteering, grab her by the back of the neck or by the base of the hair and initiate said blowjob. If she isn't receptive you have self improvement to do.

"I tell her everything will be ok"- don't bullshit her. If she doesn't modify her behavior, everything won't be ok. The whole point of MRP, Right? Fix the man, the marriage will either come around or dissolve. It's hard not to be the comforter in that situation, but don't make false promises.

The covert picture- you know your relationship. It'll seem odd to some, but if it works for you go with it. In my case I would've made a big deal of it immediately- "wait dear hold still". (Snap picture). Send to her immediately. "See, that's a nice ass. My girlfriend would agree" with laughing tone. But that's all a matter of your specific relationship- if you say it's all good then you know the better than us.

Overall, a big improvement from where you started. Congrats. Still work to be done, but small victories build confidence for bigger campaigns.

Title	I rejected the starfish [FR]
Author
Upvotes	35
Comments	30
Date	09 May 2017 05:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/206176
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6a6yoi/i_rejected_the_starfish_fr/