How to get value out of a relationship?

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May 4, 2017
6 upvotes

I've been following RP for a few years now. Made the move into a LTR as I'm approaching 30 and eventually want to start a family. I recently started following MRP and have to say it's a really great resource so thank you all.

I'm currently struggling in mine to get any real value out of my LTD.

The sex is meh and she doesn't really cook. Although she is super cute and has a decent body, she doesn't exercise or eat particularly well. She's pretty materialistic, loves expensive shit and her only real "hobby" is shopping.

She has an ok "career" that required some education and she makes ok money. But she aspires to be a housewife like her mother. Even after the kids fly the coop.

Overall, it feels like I put way more into it than she does.

Where do you guys find value in your relationships?


Post Information
Title How to get value out of a relationship?
Author Fantastical14
Upvotes 6
Comments 18
Date 04 May 2017 02:40 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206198
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/694zpk/how_to_get_value_out_of_a_relationship/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

Listen, like everyone is going to say...you come here to focus on you. Why? Because most of the guys here are ALREADY married. And maybe they don't want to divorce because of $$$ or they want to see their kids every night before they go to bed. So they focus on the one variable that can be adjusted: You.

We don't talk about how awesome our wives are because it's irrelevant. You can't easily swap out your wife. But you want something out of marriage you're not getting and this place gives you some tools to restart the masculine pendulum.

BUT....you're in an LTR. And your LTR sounds like a Basic Bitch. You are NOT married.

If you're not married, then lets be realistic and acknowledge that there are some really shitty women out there. Natural born Facebook drones who want to show the world what their life "appears" to look like. Avoid those women.

Because on the flip side there are also some really great women. There are some really intellectual women out there who worked hard to be doctors or scientists. They may like nice stuff but their world isn't defined by it. Or there some women out there that have no career aspirations but were raised well and are caring people who are reasonably inclined to be fantastic mates and potentially good mothers.

Pick you poison but keep in mind AWALT. AWALT doesn't mean she is most definitely going to screw you over. It just means she has the potential to do some rather unpleasant things in your general direction should you forget your way. Don't forget your way.

So long story short...since you're not married and a family is your goal, go get better at vetting a future baby maker. Your current LTR sounds like a dullard.

Oh and get one with some nice boobs. I love boobs.

[–]resolutions3162 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, 100x this. You just don't like your SO very much. That's fine - find a new one.

[–]Fantastical140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the advice. She really is pretty basic... You're right, there is no point settling now when I bring a ton of value to the relationship.

[–]rp_findingmyway3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

The sex is meh and she doesn't really cook. Although she is super cute and has a decent body, she doesn't exercise or eat particularly well. She's pretty materialistic, loves expensive shit and her only real "hobby" is shopping.

This looks like a failure of leadership. If your wife is willing in bed but the result is "meh", teach her. Doesn't cook, then cook great meals together with her. Doesn't exercise, hike with her. Etc. etc. Check out TFA before you check out of the relationship.

You can decide if she's ultimately worth the investment, but these don't seem like fatal flaws for an LTR if she's willing to follow your leadership and improve.

[–]Fantastical140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True. I haven't done much to help her along. I just expect her to want to make the effort but I realize that if that isn't what she's used to, it's not going to happen. Good perspective.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I define a valuable relationship like this:

Is my life better because she is in it, or would I be better off single?

My gf can't cook for shit, but she cleans, does my laundry, buys and puts away the groceries, and other general stuff. Overall she makes my life better than it would be if I was single. It sounds like your girlfriend doesn't do much for you besides look cute, that's a bad dynamic to be in as it sets you up to be a prime beta bux. Keep your standards high for yourself and your woman.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, it's good until she hits 30, or hits the hohos

[–]JudgeDoom690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like your girlfriend doesn't do much for you besides look cute, that's a bad dynamic to be in as it sets you up to be a prime beta bux. Keep your standards high for yourself and your woman.

Shit that hit home, you just summed up my marriage

[–]BobbyPeru5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Where do you guys find value in your relationships?

That's not what we do here. We improve ourselves and become awesome. If you find a worthy woman who wants to come along for the ride (fill your container) and have lots of sex, that's just more value added to your life.

[–]thunderbeyond1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Summed it up well.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm currently struggling in mine to get any real value out of my LTD.

Why are you forcing this?

Which calls this into question

I've been following RP for a few years now

doubtful.

[–]anythingincRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where do you guys find value in your relationships?

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/68xtvb/if_you_put_her_on_a_pedestal_then_she_has_no/

You are valuable, and the woman may be valuable, but if she isn't trying to please you or add value then there isn't any value to the relationship between the two of you

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Think of it like a negotiation.

What are you bringing to the table? Why does she want to work to keep you? If you are bringing a ton of value and she brings nothing, you need a new deal (woman). If you are a DYEL with a homebrew beer belly, why should she lift a finger to please you?

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I take offense sir. I home brew and have a belly. I wish not to think they are connected.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Everyone I have know who homebrews has a gut.

At least you aren't a regular poster in /r/homebrewing unlike OP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Better get on those vacumns for those abs. You're gonna get powerlifter belly bro

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely before you commit, thats for sure

[–]yes_we_can_t1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you even like this woman?



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