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Date Night Shit Storm- How did I do?

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[deleted]
April 30, 2017
8 upvotes

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Title Date Night Shit Storm- How did I do?
Author
Upvotes 8
Comments 46
Date 30 April 2017 05:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206220
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/68gjp9/date_night_shit_storm_how_did_i_do/
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Comments

[–]innominating11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

She threw out a shitty comfort test about the neighbor and you saw it as a shit test. She needed to hear, "baby, keep my balls drained and my stomach full and you have nothing to worry about." Instead you upped the dread by talking about a threesome. She alluded to dreading you back, and you are butthurt.

Comfort would have lead to sex with your wife, instead you went bar hopping alone. Only you can say whether you failed, it depends on what you want.

I will also say you should drop Facebook.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Public disrespect will never be rewarded by comfort.

[–]weakandsensitive5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you weren't being a fucking retard, I doubt she would've been disrespectful in public. Cause, consequence. Own your failure. You're in this entire thread hamstering your own bs

[–]innominating2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Presumably, you would have avoided the public disrespect by passing the comfort test. However, your responses in this thread suggest that your ego would have found some way to fuck it up anyway and that you are unwilling to change, so I guess you're stuck with the type of behavior patterns, and relationship, that leave you publicly disrespected. That seems about right for someone who has been here for 4 years and is still posting questions like this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you there. But don't actively make it worse. Just STFU and change the topic.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have never had a low-sex marriage.

Dread, ESPECIALLY ACTIVE DREAD is for low sex marriages. What are you doing? Also, I am not even sure the level of Dread that includes Active Dread bar hopping after dropping the wife off for being an asshole. Is that an ultimatum? Sounds like a Level 10- fuck me or fuck you speech. Except that's not even the problem.

Also, Dread is NOT A GOOD STRATEGY in response to Shit Tests. We have an entire suite of tools for that- agree and amplify, etc ad infinitum. Again, what the fuck are you doing?

I am really debating unlocking the Bloops link on this one. Classic title: This DeRP has just managed to Amused Mastery and Agree & Amplify himself right into Cuckoldville. You might want to switch the fedora for a 10-gallon hat, DeRPy...it'll hide the horns better.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

With all do respect, you are an expert on low sex marriages. You earned that cred. the hard way. I am not living in a low sex marriage. I live with an emotionally and verbally abusive harpy. She can contain it for months but eventually the mask slips. I live in a marriage where I must be ready at all times to remove my presence. It's exhausting.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I suggest that you think of your actions as disciplining your wife for bad behavior rather than "Dread." I also suggest you find a way to do that without it making you "exhausted."

I agree some women require much harsher discipline than we usually advocate for Shit Tests. a verbally and emotionally abusive harpy fits that quite well and obviously you are in the best position to know. Just don't let your ego completely discount the criticism and feedback the guys have given you.

[–]BobbyPeru7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm livid, although I am not showing it:

Don't fool yourself. If you're feeling it, she sees it. Always.

you mistook more of a comfort test for a shit test.. Thats like trying to play football in a basketball game. Now, her hamster is probably running full steam ahead (in the wrong direction).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't fool yourself. If you're feeling it, she sees it. Always.

You're likely correct.

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He IS correct.

Women are in tune with an emotional force field.

Mistaking a comfort test for a shit test is a common failure and always yields very bad results.

Learn from it and move forward.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

what does it mean "two can play that game"

It means she could get a MMF threesome , probably in the time it took you to write this post

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That escalated quickly. If sex weren't a problem here, this night could have played into an MFF threesome. If you're into that sort of thing.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bar. Dinner & (presumably) drinks. Wings & drinks. Bar hopping.

How much of this was fueled by booze on both your parts? Does she often go off when she has a few drinks? Do you find it harder to maintain a level head, keep your frame, keep your reply proportionate, after a few too many?

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

dinner at our favourite place, concert, drinks and wings afterwards etc

You sound fat.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess I do sound fat.

[–]stonewall19791 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

One special night out isnt the mentality of a fat person. Doing it several times a week or month and rationalizing it away is a fat mentality. You have to have an occassional cheat meal and done in moderation there isnt a problem.

And yes, I am a fat fuck, but I'm progressing and working my way down the scale. One night out isnt the end of the world.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

In addition to what I listed, there was drinking before dinner, and more drinking after "wings and drinks." This is not the lifestyle of someone in shape.

I could not go from what I eat daily to a blowout day like that. I'd be throwing up.

And yes, I am a fat fuck

So why are you giving advice on not being a fat fuck? The world would be a lot better place if people who didn't know would shut up.

[–]stonewall19790 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I have know many people who can eat and drink like that and are in in extremely good shape. Its not a choice they make daily its a once a every few months choice. Its a matter of how hard you want to work to account for for the excess.

My brother in law is one of those guys, 41 years old, regular at the triathalons & tough man competitions in his area, six pack, defined muscle everywhere, you could use his stomach or back as a washing board and I've seen him kill a 30 pack of natty light after a big steak and potato dinner. Of course it means 10 extra hours in the gym the next week, but he does it.

Used to ski with a guy who was kicked out of buffets for eating too much and he was rail thin because he did distance cross country skiing and ran marathons in summer.

And yes I've known a lot if fat asses who make the choice to eat that way regularly, my examples are more the exception to the rule, but its can be done. People can have a cheat day, or a cheat meal, or a cheat week; its their choice and if they know their body and can do it without throwing up, gaining weight, or killing themselves, more power to them.

So what youre saying is "I can't do what he did, so he must be wrong and I'm right. If I can't do it, no one can" without him having said anything about his weight, BF%, lifting, or normal diet. So let's not jump to conclusions. I'd guess that you would be right 2/3rds of the time, but 67% isnt a passing grade that I'd shoot for.

Since Ive lost 50lb in the last 6 month, I have done a lot of reading, research and lifestyle changes. Does that mean the knowledge from the research is invalid? Its clearly working for me but am I where I need to be? Fuck no. Am I still fat? Yup, but less now than I was. I recognise a fat persons mentality and behavior, I've been ther and done it, I've rationalized a lot of calories and crap food in my life.

Do I need to have a degree in nutrition to discuss it? Nope. No more than I need a degree in meteorology to discuss the weather or a degree in art to discuss a painting. Those are called conversations, people will share opinions and comments with one another, to share ideas and enlighten themselves. Our country was kind of founded on this, to the point they made a set of rules, including one about freedom of speech. Pretty sure not all the guys who colobrated on that one up were lawyers, and I dont think there was a college course on country building 101 in the mid to late 1700's but I dont have a degree in Early American History so I should just shut up here too I guess. And if this is really what what you think, why are you here? You werent an MRP expert when you started here last year, yet you comment regularly. I'm not seeing any flair on your name, have you gotten a degree or certificate in RP to authenticate that your opinion is valid?

The point is, to judge on one comment about a special night out, isnt a good policy. If his post history was full of comments about eating out, ordering in, excessive drinking and other fat behaviors I wouldnt say anything. A month ago he said he does races, fights, obstacle courses and trains for them. Sounds like someone who is in shape to me and can handle the calories. He definitely fucked up in other areas, and he explained those in the posts and his post history, but one night of excess doesnt really define anyone.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

The world would be a lot better place if people who didn't know would shut up.

Highlighting for emphasis.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's gold, Jerry! GOLD!

[–]stonewall1979-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seriously, you too? Since when is anything anyone says in reddit have to come from a stance of professional or academic literacy? Its a bunch of internet virgins in their moms basement, beating off stores of other internet virgins trolling them with stories of what they think people should do.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All I saw was a fat person hamstering about what people who are ripped do.

I too know people who run. They tell me you can't outrun your fork.

[–]drty_prRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You fueled a fire that didn't need to be fueled. When you made the comment about her friend, you were allowing her to continue. She was acting like a bitch and you were giving her an emotional rollercoaster for it. If this "disrespect" was as annoying as you claim, it should have been squashed. Her emotional outbursts are a result of your lack of leadership. So long as you tolerate bullshit like that, and reward her with the feelz, she will continue this "disrespect".

Also Rangers suck dog cock. Sens in 5.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

You're on Facebook. Weak. You care about what your wife thinks about your list of "friends." Weaker. You stepped right into her frame by not being attractive enough to banter about a threesome without it becoming a stupid contest of whom can add whom as Facebook finger fuck buddies. Weakest.

Stop using chick metrics to judge your own value.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I like Facebook. I have the right to be the judge of my own actions.

Is it safe to assume that you interpret my date night disaster as a failed shit test?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

You absolutely have the right to be on Facebook. You also have the right to own all the shit that accompanies that whole feelings festival.

You failed at AA and you then suggested a threesome while you were down.

Your response to me should have been used on your wife.

"I like Facebook. I add whom I choose as friends." Then STFU.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"I like Facebook. I add whom I choose as friends." Then STFU.

Solid advice, thanks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

2nd date rule.

Beats playing "shrill harpy, 1v1"

I notice you didnt mention the part where you didnt fuck her in the ass

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

2nd date rule.

My thoughts exactly; belittling a man loudly and publicly definitely breaks the 2nd date rule. I didn't want to be around her so I got her safely home, then went out and did what I wanted to do.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She proceeds to berate me, publicly for several minutes

meanwhile, my wings have arrived

Your dignity, was it for 1/2 pound, or a full one? Was it at least overtime, or was this during the 1st?

I’m heading back downtown.” I get back into the cab and proceed to spend several hours bar-hopping on my own.

That'll teach her!

[–]Terribledragon4Hire2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are a Rangers fan. You lost me there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Down by 2.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have to ask, the answer is bad. Going to mrp mommy is just as gay as going to wife mommy.

And how is that a&a? It sounds retarded. A&a requires absurdity, not autism.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Getting into a spat over Facebook is a mistake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Getting into a spat over Facebook is a mistake.

Getting into a spat over overt disrespect is an absolute must for any man worth the name. I won't allow anyone to be around me who belittles me loudly and publicly. That includes the wife.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Facebook is for women and drama.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We get it, you don't like to be disrespected (by wife or anyone). No need to be a broken record.

Not many people like to be disrespected and it's a very good practice to not allow others to treat you that way.

The problem is, you brought the disrespect upon yourself by being a huge sperg.

You made your bed and then flipped when you had to sleep in it.

OWN YOUR SHIT.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did great except the Facebook. All you feelz fags always get in trouble with Facebook. How about going on "Fagbook ? "

But seriously, it was a comfort test that you let escalate, but then kept your balls intact. Good job.

[–]mabden1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

During the concert she even slid her hand over my bulge, not very discretely. I’m having a wonderful time… After the concert we retire to one of our favourite pubs.

IMHO, you should have retired the evening between your favorite pair of thighs, feeding your face with pussy instead of wings.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But.. but... the hockey game was on and I needed to get AT LEAST another 12 wings and 6 pack in me, STAT.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

two can play at that game

She is going to start dreading you if she has the guts. My guess would be new friends on facebook and maybe a girls night out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My wife pulls this shit all the time. Night's going good then she picks stupid fights. Maybe it's a shitty comfort test. It's still not appropriate behavior. Sometimes I can pull her out of the shitty mood. Most of the time I can't. It's not because I'm not alpha enough or man enough. It's just the way she is.

STFU and realize it's not always about you

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

STFU and realize it's not always about you

That's good advice. Better advice for the OP would be, it's not always about you... unless you're the one who fugged up and mishandled the situation.

[–]WisdomTangoFoxtrot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Yeah, I know. I have no honor. Really though, that sucks for you, having a husband with no honor.”

This is not amused mastery. It comes across as butthurt amplified passive aggressive.

This caught me though...

She proceeds to say that what I have done is super shitty, that I have no honor that I am dishonorable etc. I counter with amused master and agree and amplify.

..and...

“Oh yeah” she said “two can play at that game.” (WTF does that even mean?)

It could mean, that she estimates her SMV higher than yours and/or is dreading you. But, in combination with the prior statement, she is projecting (or does project) and thus she could feel motivated and empowered to act.

See...women don't understand honor. Not really. That's a man term. She was called dishonorable at some point in her life for doing the exact same thing you did (freely associating with someone hotter than your partner). So yes, she is projecting.

You then removed this as an opportunity to achieve ends which are valuable for you, with your agree and amplify shit show, thus making it a sarcastic/passive aggressive understanding of honor...because you were butthurt. You continue to remove safeguards (by continuing to add hot friends) so you could achieve a goal of active dread (with your threesome line)....which is weak.

But better...you then kick her down the stairs...by going bar hopping...so that she can fall into the arms of...what...now two Chads? Three? How many holes does she have? Five if you count her virgin ears...which won't be virgin for long.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let's ignore your mastery of basic TRP skills for a moment. There are some fundamental ted flags here that you aren't seeing. The night didn't mysteriously go shitty because she went to he restroom and looked at FB. The problem in your relationship was brewing already and you still can't see it where it starts. Maybe you're both drinking far too much. But she is definitely too comfortable being a bitch and disrespectful. That means she thinks her SMV is higher than yours and she still doesn't see you as a leader. I just divorced one of these types. Disrespectful as the day is long, but would fuck me all the time. And she'd come back from the bathroom with another girl in tow and all of us would go have fun. But it was her nature to stay a bitch and be disrespectful. If your girl is "just a harpy" then that's your hurdle. She most likely won't ever drop that, but she sure as shit isn't going to change unless she sees you as The Prize.
As to your frequent statement of "sex isn't a problem", it's time to pull your head out of the clouds. Thinking the problems aren't as relevant because you're getting sex is a fallacy. I doubt any of you were getting more sex or threesomes than me and my marriage was still shit. Your wife not only doesn't want to be led, she doesn't see you as a leader given the way she values your presence.
btw, I don't mind your love of taking her home in the cab and then going back out, but it depends on what you gained the following day from the relationship. If she's still the same unpredictable harpy, you're wasting your time. She most likely needs less drinking and a different lesson. I predict a marriage of unhappiness or divorce at this rate.



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