I've pretty much made up my mind, but I'd still like some thoughts that are not mine.
I realised recently that one of my biggest blue pill downfalls was giving to people that did not give back to me. This is probably familiar to most betas - chasing girls that don't want you, staying in jobs that do not satisfy you, calling "friends" that never call back, etc.
So I realised that my GF puts very little effort in being attractive. I took the pill about 6 months ago, and I know that with effort on my side, I can bring out her slutty side, but I am tired of making that effort when she does none. for 6 years I showed her that I am willing to put endless effort for us to have sex so I am not very surprised by this behaviour. But the thing is that although my attitude changed, I put way less effort now, I know she never was very different then she is now. She always was shy and not a very girly girl.
I realise now that for a long time I had to push myself to get us started, and it is much less enjoyable than initiating sex with a girl that really turns you on (she looks good but after seeing her naked for years, her attitude is the real thing that can keep me attracted.)
I know that the answer to most of those questions is "be more attractive, don't be unattractive" but I am not sure that I can do more than I already did (the dread level is quite high and if I would initiate sex she would probably comply enthusiastically.) I just don't feel that attracted to her to initiate, and I don't think I want to stay with her this way.
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