708,624 posts

I'm done with "cheaper to keep her" and afraid of divorce in general.

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April 11, 2017
11 upvotes

You can look at my post history for the context.

Basically, scarcity mentality led me to attempt to stay with my unfaithful wife because it was "easier" instead of owning my shit and dealing with the fallout. So, last week I moved out and will likely serve her papers within a month.

I might end up going bankrupt from the divorce, but that's better than giving more of my life/time to a woman that demonstrated exactly how little she thought of me for nearly an entire year.

I have a very marketable skill, so even if I go bankrupt and lose my security clearance and I'm not able to retire from the military, I have plenty of experience to get out and get a good job. I have other skills I can use to make extra cash on the side when I have time (auto repair, computer repair, cell phone repair) in order to keep from going bankrupt.

I have options. The world is full of opportunities that can never be found if you choose to remain at a dead end.

My biggest fear in all of this was having that toxic relationship with my ex-wife that everyone always talks about and I wanted to avoid that, but I realize now I'm only half of that equation and it was going to happen anyways whether I divorce her now or later. I thought that staying with her to get rid of the debt might allow us to reach some sort of amicable middle ground, but in doing so I essentially became a slave to her frame because she knew I didn't want to be there, yet there I was.

I'm done being afraid of her or anything else. I'm a smart dude with unlimited potential. It would have been nice to reach that potential with the woman I married 15 years ago, but that didn't happen. So, I'll get there without her and maybe I'll find someone worth sharing that with later on.

I will still peruse this sub on a regular basis because like TRP, the lessons here apply everywhere in life, not just in dealing with women.

Wish me luck, gentlemen.


Post Information
Title I'm done with "cheaper to keep her" and afraid of divorce in general.
Author separatebutmarried
Upvotes 11
Comments 11
Date 11 April 2017 09:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206294
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/64tvcd/im_done_with_cheaper_to_keep_her_and_afraid_of/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
scarcityframethe red pill
Comments

[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children) | Copy

Id do so, if you added value to the readership, maybe outline a plan you had, or at least showed you have one. Staying in the military past retirement has led a lot of old broken chiefs to be salty as fuck in their golden years.

Right now, this is a self-pep talk, and I'm on the fence whether it's useful to anyone or not. I'm hoping some follow up in your comments, right now this is a starfish.

I assume you know she can go after your pension, right?

[–]zeteomegaleio4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes you have to ignore sunk costs and take a loss on something so that it no longer takes up your mental processing power which will be better spent going after bigger wins that recover the loss and then some. Get after it.

[–]james89995 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just got divorced after 15 years. It's the fear of the unknown that stops us. I had three dates last week, more fun than with my ex in a decade.

[–]blarggggggggggg4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Things rarely work out as bad as the possibilities we are capable of imagining.

Don't give up on yourself - keep lifting, studying, practicing, improving - better than luck.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like the self confidence and optimism this post indicates. You will likely come to doubt yourself again as you go through the next few months. Be brave. Trust your resolve.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the real world. Possibilities abound. Move forward and enjoy your life. Keep working on you.

You will undoubtedly enjoy the day when women are giving you second looks and you can act upon it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let us know how it goes.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's your state of domicile? Hopefully you're stationed at Fort Bragg...

Hire the best lawyer you can. Don't let her fuck you out of your retirement.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude. You can always earn more money. You can't get more life when this one runs out. Push off and get on with it.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

From experience with classified clearences if you stay in contact with your security manager it tends to go easier. After 2009 they have a different outlook on life situations. Sometimes it's not so much what happened as how you are handling it.

But...it always goes better if you don't hide it.

Success, brother.



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