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Need advice on cheating LTR that just broke up with me.

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April 6, 2017
8 upvotes

Am new to MRP. Just got on 4 days ago when my LTR of 6-years suddenly broke up with me over the phone. Have read NMMNG, WISNIFG, and am half way through Rational Man Year 1.

It's clear that I wasn't an alpha throughout the relationship. I'd say I was a mix, and oscillated between a beta and an alpha. There was also a fair amount of insecurity and controlling, which I now know I need to work on. I do well on finances, intelligence and general planning, but suck at shit tests (didn't even know those were a thing until now), and providing general direction (i.e. Let's go there now vs What do you want to do).

Pmed ScorcerKing for some advice. He gave me some and told me to post here for more. Decided to do so as a kick to the butt to improve.

The story: We are each other's first relationship. Of the 6 years, 4 of them have been LDR as we were at College. First two years were great. Things were slightly rocky when the LDR started. We had an initial agreement to come back and marry each other after college ended, but I wanted to stay and work in the States (I am not from the US) and so our initial timeline got shifted several years back. We broke up briefly because of this (she felt her trust was betrayed) but got back together a few months later. She wanted a break. I gave it to her. She came back to me three days later saying it was a mistake etc but I said no as I was pissed. Eventually realised I wanted her back and we got back together 6 months after.

Things seemed okay. Distance was tough but she seemed very happy when we were together. We travelled together during the holidays each year, which meant we saw each other about two months out of the year. Plenty of sex happened whenever we were together (at least 4 - 6 times a week and sometimes multiple times a day), and she seemed very happy. Then a year and a half ago, she cheated on me with a friend. Let's call him A. They were in a club, she got drunk and it happened. Was initially angry, but decided to make one last push to make it work. We agreed that she was to no longer talk to him. Everything seemed okay and happy again. Last week, she suddenly drops the bomb on me. She says she wants to break up, and that she has been thinking about this for the last 1.5 years but has never dared to tell me. Something snapped in her that day. I do not know why. She has not told me. I think it might be because I was badgering her to talk to me, as she is notoriously bad at digital communication. She said she did not speak to A for 8 months, and then resumed talking and discovered she had 'feelings' for him. She said she no longer sees a future with me and she loves A more, and wants to give things up with me to try it with him, especially since A is now coming back to where she is end of this year. This is after spending five supposedly perfect weeks that ended just a week before her admission, (again with plenty of bedroom action that made me feel things were going fine). She said she was 'trying her best to give it one last good shot'.

I am devastated. I don't know what to do right now. Part of me wants to move on, the other part of me wants this to work. I am currently working in SF, and am considering flying back to talk to her. We video-called briefly once since her admission to me. It was a short one since she started crying and turned it off because she said she felt too guilty and could not bare to talk to me anymore. At one point, she screamed "I am immoral" into the screen. She said she has already made up her mind and does not want to see me in person.

What are your thoughts on this? I do not understand the sudden switch or confessing of something she has been thinking for so long, especially when she seemed so happy and contented when she was with me. Do you guys think she really loves the other guy more? Thought of that kills me inside. Is this relationship already failed? Or can I still use MRP to try and salvage what I have left? If so, what should I do? I believe she is a good person, who made a mistake and no longer wants to deal with the distance and the guilt, and is acting out right now. What do you think?

TLDR; LDR Girlfriend of 6 years suddenly broke up with me. Cheated with me 1.5 years ago, and wants to go try things out with the guy she cheated me on. Very surprised because it was a sudden change as she always seemed very happy whenever she saw me (2 to 3 months of a year). Can this relationship be saved? Thoughts?


Post Information
Title Need advice on cheating LTR that just broke up with me.
Author redpillmonk
Upvotes 8
Comments 68
Date 06 April 2017 07:58 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206312
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/63rldp/need_advice_on_cheating_ltr_that_just_broke_up/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGalphabetacheatinglong term relationshipLDRshit testNMMNG
Comments

[–]BobbyPeru11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

She broke up with you. She told you she doesn't want to be with you. You seem disjointed with the reality of this.

If she does stay with you to give it one more chance she will never respect you. As a matter fact, she will grow to despise you even more for being such a pussy.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's funny when you realize the absurdity of it:

Him: "But but, I still want to make it work! Doesn't my deep feelings and meaningful acts of flying back to you mean anything?"

Her: "...no?"

You're not special OP.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

More like:

Her: "...no?" (while feeling "Jesus, I can't believe I ever fucked this goober").

[–]The_LitzRed Beret10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Count yourself lucky, no seriously, count yourself very lucky. You have had this course forced upon you now as a young man and not as an old married dude with a mortgage and kids. Now start lifting and read the side bar slowly and internalize it. Reading it all in a few days will not allow the message to sink in properly.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes I now see the luck I have fallen into.

I am curious. Have not yet read anything anywhere on the entire process on getting married in the context of RP.

How does someone know when that is an appropriate step? Seems to me that RP mentality is to NOT get hitched with one person for the rest of life. Thoughts?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is a contentious issue on MRP. The regular Redpill crowd abhor any form of marriage. On MRP half the guys will never remarry and the other half will actually marry again.

I personally don't regret marrying, even though my marriage is past its best. My wife still adds value in some form or another and my kids can grow up in a stable environment. She is not a bad person or a crazy bitch, she is just not that attracted to me.

If you decide to marry or let someone into your life as a LTR the secret lies in vetting the girl beforehand. You probably ignored a lot of red flags with your ex GF because you were hungry for a relationship and had a scarcity mentality. Read the manosphere, there is a lot about vetting for LTR's.

But for now forget about a LTR untill you have built yourself up. You are not ready yet.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

MRP fixes men not relationships. There's your answer.

There is nothing to save in this relationship. It's dead. Can you bring your dog back to life once it's passed? No? Same thing here. No amount of Disney White Knighting is going to fix this shit. How much clearer can she be about her feelings towards you? Would you like me to draw you a picture?

Put in the work to fix yourself. Lift, read the sidebar, and work on improving yourself for you. It's that simple.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

No kids? No Paperwork? She cheated /twice/? She tells you she has no feelings for you and does for this guy? That she is immoral?

How much more of a hint do you need?

Ghost her. Go be your own awesome. If she comes back in six months and grovels you may give her the opportunity to be one of many women you are seeing and getting to know better.

Worst case of oneitis I think I have ever read here. To be charitavble: Six years, you were each other's firsts, okay, I understand, you have strong emotions, maybe scarcity mentality. Like the guy from swingers, you've forgotten what it is like to be "out there."

Still, that is a LOT of emotion. Maybe look into your testosterone and estrogen levels. You might be upside down.

Still, the basic logic of it ... how can you not know this? Do you even sidebar? Did you just stumble into TRP/MRP last week?

[–]redpillmonk[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes I did. Only found MRP after she broke up. And I am realising more and more how fucked up I was and how I gave up my alpha from the start. Went from 5 girls -> her -> LDR and the beta slowly creeped up on me.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Okay. Welcome to askMRP. You are in the right place.

You get one victim puke, you just used it.

Now it's time for the 12 steps of Dread, and I will tell you a secret.

Most people learn about the 12 steps of Dread and plane to "scare" their woman into realizing they are a valuable man with options.

The truth is, the 12 steps of Dread MAKE you a valuable man with options. She might or might not realize this. Doesn't matter. YOU become better. The steps push you to become a good man, then go out and get outcome independence, and, eventually, to either get her or get someone else.

But if you follow then, you will get someone else. If you are single you will have someone else by Dread level 7.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/

The classic advice is a month a level so you don't flip her out with the changes, but it is also to internalize the changes, so you aren't half-assing it. You won't need to do the "treat her slightly different" stuff, but you will need to INTERNALIZE the behaviors so you don't screw up on the next relationship. So maybe 3 weeks per level, with lots and lots of reading. READ read read. Lift lift lift.

You're young. You'll be alright.

This shit will end like "s8r boi"

https://play.google.com/music/preview/Txkrgfniy34wd4escpawkdjm5xi?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics

You'll be aright.

Just don't bother to look in the rearview mirror. Nothing to see there.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

So use 60 Days of Dread as a self improvement plan instead of its usual purpose of getting the girl back? (Want to clarify the intention. I do NOT want to get her back at this point, after reading and concurring with all the comments.)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

yes, exactly.

It's secretly a self-improvement plan anyway. In fact, until you realize it's a self-improvement plan, the whole thing is a giant covert contract and unlikely to work.

I think you might benefit from No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover and the Mark Baxter podcast. And yes, 60 days of dred.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Got it.

This means I ghost her and start dread? i.e. She doesn't get to see what I become?

This sounds like losing frame but a part of me really wants her to regret leaving me. Not want her back, want her to regret.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you get to a certain point in your self-recreation, such petty thoughts will no longer grip you.

[–]mabden5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can this relationship be saved?

What is to save? She fucked this guy, now has left you to fuck him some more. u/mrpthrowa gave you the right (only) answer.

Cheated with me 1.5 years ago, and wants to go try things out with the guy she cheated me on.

In the unlikely event that she comes back to you after fucking this guy nine ways to Sunday; do not cave, do not let her back into your life. She is unworthy of your time or energy. She has shown you her true colors has done you a huge favor before doing something even stupider by marrying her.

I do not understand the sudden switch

This was not sudden, you just did not see the signs. Read the sidebar.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fuck.

I swear to god all the betas are on their man periods.

I just saw this linked to another post very similar.

Break Up With Me

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Zero fucking abundance. That's it.

If my prime-aged rib eye walks off my plate, no prob. There's plenty of other meat in the market. These betas are starving you see, so crying and thrashing about over the loss of their last scrap of overcooked hamburger is expected.

If only there was a way to change that...

Edit: typo

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Except they think hamburger is aged prime rib. Hamburger ain't.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

To a thirsty man, a tablespoon of piss is a sparkling oasis.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ouch. I got the point at Hamburgers. Thanks guys.

[–]weakandsensitive10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are pathetic. It's not a surprise she cheated on you.

[–]VengefullyY0urs3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think the consensus of enlightened men say to move on, fix yourself and never look back.

I was also young and in a relationship (non LDR) for over half a decade. She was my first, I was hers. She cheated on me twice, and we fucked like jackrabbits until the day she broke up, and even then nothing was going to change her mind.

There is nothing in this case going back to you would be a good idea, aside from family or friend pressure.

To add to this like manly others already had, go radio silent and cut her out completely, but do not be a dick about it, just as you wouldnt appear butthurt if your wife rejected you for sex.

Her priority level: Telemarketer

Do not answer her calls or texts, unless it is logistics to getting something back and only if you cannot live with it. Do not include or give into any emotion from yourself or her. logistics, and keep it short.

Do not waste time blocking her or deleting her from anything, and do not say anything negative about her to anyone. If someone asks about it, do not say "she dumped me!" or "she cheated on me", but rather "It didnt work out", and if pressed, become a broken record on that one note.

Now for the rest of your life: Lift, read, learn game, pursue your passions and make money.

Learn to approach

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely. All the responses have been a big kick in the ass to get to work.

Mind saying more about why your relationship did not work out? Am also curious about the fucking like jackrabbits thing, since I had the same thing, which made me think all was well. Is it just from guilt? Or is there genuine want to do so?

[–]VengefullyY0urs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am in my early 30s now, but that was my high school relationship that lasted longer than it should.

It didnt work because: Hypergamy

  • I was in my early 20's, and not hitting potential (didnt lift, diet, actively game, little no no abundance mentality, mate guarding tenancies, etc.)

  • She was coming into her sexual peak age and had a higher SMV, and life outside of me seemed more interesting and exciting

I went about the break up all the wrong ways (hot and cold reception to her, trying to get her to stay, tried to get her friends to be on my side), but eventually I harshly blocked her out, moved across the country, and started my life over with my degree. That was probably too extreme, but I had to get away from cold weather and memories. I never talked to her again, which I probably didnt have to do, and clearly my actions cried butthurt.

The fucking was probably because she had a higher labido, it was routine, and I was pretty decent for my age the time. I was attractive, but not more so than new attention and the CC.

We were far too young for guilt sex. Thats the kind of disparity a middle aged man negotiates out of his 10+ year wife after "The Talk" or a lenghty marriage counseling session.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Got it. Thanks for taking the time. Wondering if you can talk more about not saying negative things about her. I wasn't planning to, but want to know to make sure I have the reasons right.

Is it so that I do not give any chances for my 'frame' to be taken away? i.e. This girl dumped me and so I am not as strong and capable as I can be.

[–]VengefullyY0urs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is not a ton to say about her really that hasnt already been said through conventional wisdom - YMMV (your mileage will vary) respectively since AWALT doesnt mean the same.

She was just a cute chick in high school that grew into her body and started getting a lot of attention and she ate it up.

She told me she didnt know what was wrong and she needed to "find herself" (thats code for: i want to experience other men or women depending on the girl), "just need to be on her own", and "needed a break".

She started dating an alpha version of me (looks wise) within 3 months, and then that guy cheated on her and dumped her. Then she went back to me. I realized this was going to keep happening unless i moved away and cut off contact, so I did.

I will say I experienced much worse than her since then. In fact, I have mostly forgot about her. I have also dated, married, and divorced smarter, better looking and higher quality women. It makes that experience pale in comparison to everything else.

Put in the work and your life will improve. My best advice to you is to life like your life depended, learn game, and meet other women.

You will not be pining for a cheating ex living far away when you have better in front of you.

[–]zeteomegaleio2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, it's time to see the writing on the wall. It doesn't matter what any of us think of what she did. This "relationship" if you can even call it that was dead a long time ago.

Since you are young and this was your first relationship and first heartbreak, I'll go easy on you. Not every relationship is meant to last. Sometimes they are just to teach you things.

Right off the bat, I can tell you one lesson this is supposed to teach you is to not do LDRs. You did not have a 6 year relationship. You had a 2 year relationship and then a bunch of talking to a chick who you would occasionally hook up with and fuck before she got tired of the bullshit.

This is a time for you to learn some tough life lessons. Women are not perfect, they are human. The "one" does not exist.

Do what you need to do to grieve losing your first real love and get over your heartbreak, but now you are here and it is time to grow up and learn some hard truth.

And by the way, before you do something stupid like pour your heart out to her, let me save you some dignity: just don't do that. You will look and sound pathetic, she will be repulsed, and you will be disgusted with yourself at the end.

Block this bitch out of your life, read the sidebar, lift, and in a few months you will be wondering why you wasted any tears at all on this cheating whore.

[–]innominating2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have a textbook case of oneitis.

Ghost her. Start lifting and diet and macros today.

Read Rational Male the book. Then, read it again. You are the classic average frustrated chump who just got dumped by his oneitis. You made the mistake of entering into this long distance relationship in the first place. She got your commitment and you got to masterbate. Now she dumped you. Move on and never make the same mistake again.

But all the good times, you say. Bullshit, that is the sunk cost fallacy. Move on.

You have got to shift your frame into abundance mentality. After rational male and lifting for a few months, read Bang, Day Bang, and Models. Learn some game.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

You don't know how to be single?

It's easy, pretend she died, then just act accordingly

[–]redpillmonk[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Lol. Yeah I am trying.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What part of that is fucking you up?

Do you know how to pay bills?

How to feed yourself?

Stay clean?

Leave the house and go do something for money part of the day?

Lay out the specifics, and I can offer all kinds of help

[–]redpillmonk[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes to all.

Its mainly that shitty stab in my heart when I go through the day and memories flashback in my head. This sounds pussy af but she was a big part of my life (I am 25 so that's a quarter of my life with her) and there are a lot of memories and experiences tied up with her.

The other thing I am grappling with the how to create an abundance mentality. Does that necessarily mean spinning plates? And does spinning plates necessarily mean sex with multiple partners? I was also brought up to believe that one should not be too wanton with sexual activities, and I am now trying to figure that out.

My first step for now is to talk to more girls. Made myself speak to a girl at the park yesterday and got a date for today. I guess where I am unsure is how to proceed? Especially since I'm coming from fixed LTR mindset.

Btw, really appreciate all the help and honesty here. I am from the Army and so appreciate the raw-honest-no-bullshit comments.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You'll get over it. Take it out on the iron and go fuck a plate

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

you know, I was thinking metal plate for a second. Iron then plate...

hmm.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If hes army, guarantee hes seen how this works

[–]tslextslex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Can this relationship be saved?"

A. No. B. What relationship? C. Both A and B.

Answer is . . . .

. . . C

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol walk dude

[–]2gunsgetsome1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol walk dude

No, skip.

[–]anythingincRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

We are each other's first relationship. Of the 6 years, 4 of them have been LDR as we were at College.

Neither of you had the balls/confidence/SMV to break up before going off to college. At least you didn't alter your lives for each other. You get to be her long distance back-up and guilt-free yearly fuck-fest. Rational Male has several LDR posts

We had an initial agreement to come back and marry each other after college ended

Scarcity mentality and lack of abundance. She gets the security of knowing she has a beta backup who will always be there for her no matter what she does. Rational Male has a post on this too. She could never love and respect a man who would agree to this. So ''nice" bro.

Eventually realized I wanted her back and we got back together 6 months after.

Another RM post, you went through the garbage. Your beta orbiting skills are text-book bro.

she cheated on me with a friend.

ReddJive has already posted the RM link. She was trying to make you dump her. You didn't. You were dead to her long before, but meant less than dog shit after that. Even worse, you made her feel bad about it.

She said she did not speak to A for 8 months, and then resumed talking and discovered she had 'feelings' for him. She said she no longer sees a future with me and she loves A more

"A" is a real person in her life, you are an avatar. The "illicit" behind-your-back aspect of "cheating" on her fake-long-distance-bf spikes her Fuck-O-Meter through the roof. You never had a chance. Maybe with a woman no other man would bother pursuing.

Can this relationship be saved?

Why the fuck would you want too?

AND:

You owe her, you really do. You owe her freedom. You owe it to her to let her go without making her feel like shit by pestering her to "give it another shot." She tried to let you go 1.5 years ago so you could enjoy your last years of college and find a real girl before being thrust into the real dating market you are not prepared for. She even gave you a sob story and the moral high ground. But you just had to hang on like a good little beta. If you think pestering her, guilting her, making her feel bad, or going all-out romantic, or being extravagant is going to get her back you are wrong.

Luckily for you I guess, the thing that will cure you is the thing that would possibly get her back.

Being awesome and forgetting about her. Get shredded, be successful, get other women, be happy, build your own life.

Ideally you will realize what a bitch you have been. Less ideally, she comes back into your life because it is so awesome and magnetic and you settle for a woman who didn't want to settle for you until she had exhausted all her other options.

MRP, get with the program, only way forward.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks. What really hit me is the I DO owe her. I created this shitty situation in the first place and I should be the one to take responsibility and end it.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don't know why all these guys missed it. Why the fuck are you in a long distance relationship? Alphas don't do LDR's

You get none of the intimacy and all of the drama. This chick is a war bride of sorts. Ghost her, improve yourself. There's no advice that should save this.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

War bride?

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ah. Things make more sense now.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stay on top of the reading. Keep hammering out the rational male. Year 1, all the way through the latest post.

Read them, then re-read.

Godspeed.

[–]BrazilRedPill1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

LDR + oneits + her cheating = no salvation on this relationship.

OP, redpill is not about saving your relationship, is about saving yourself.

The thing is that once you reach alpha mentality, with outcome indifference, abundance mentality etc, women generally follows your leadership. But this is not the goal, it may happen or not; the goal is you to become a better man.

Now, about your relationship: she cheated. She broke up with you. She said she loves other guy. She said she doesn't feel good about being with you for the last 1.5 years. It's over, accept and face it with dignity. Move on.

Lift, read sidebar, become the best man you can be. You will find a better girl than this bitch in a year timeframe.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks BRP. Becoming the best man is going to be my goal for the next year.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No: this year. Right fucking now, and forever hereafter. Go on MRP and join 60 Days of Dread immediately.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Again, my poor phrasing reviewed my shitty frame/mindset. Message received. Thanks SK.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of the 6 years, 4 of them have been LDR as we were at College.

Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior Have Mercy.

Can this relationship be saved?

No. MRP doesn't even work with a LDR marriage, much less a LDR where YOU are Mr. faithful and SHE is a cheating whore. What is there to save? You had fun when it was your turn. Now go have fun with somebody better. I don't care how awesome you think she was. She wasn't- and you can do better.

Go lift.

[–]milkywayer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]rp_findingmyway1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Take the "L" on this one for crying out loud. Thank her for her service and get the divorce (edit: fuck, you're not even married...). If it moves you, you can meet up with her from time to time whenever you happen to be nearby and get a nice lay for old times. She'll be available again, she's someone else's problem now, and you'll get many more shots (heh) at her in the coming years if you want it. But don't wife her up or even commit to her in any sense ever again.

In the meantime, go get another chick who digs you. Sounds like you need to do some improving first. Sidebar, lift.

And maybe move out of SF if you want to find a quality chick.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

What is wrong with SF chicks?

[–]JustOneMoreAcct1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Aside from the vast majority being sjw's?

[–]rp_findingmyway0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not too much experience there personally, but this guy is persuasive:

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/new-york-vs-san-francisco-landslide-for-new-york-city/

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well, looks like I might just have to find a tech job in NY.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, forgot to mention that part... the women in SF are shit. But they're easy, so there's that.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is painful to read. I once had oneitis like this. I didn't hang on much after it was dead like you seem to be but I've been there. It's bad. Why would you want to put even the smallest amount of effort into someone who doesn't want to give it back?

Don't fly to see her, your future self will never forgive you for that.

Don't call, don't write, don't message. It's over.

Read The Rational Male. So much will be clear then. It will also hurt and you'll be angry at yourself the more you read. You're lucky in that you're young and not married. Get out there and crush it and follow your own goals and drive.

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the best part of all the comments is to know that there are others like me who went through this. Makes handling the whole shitty thing much better.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So how old are you ?

Spill the stats on research of LDR's What's the percentage of working out vs failure What do you think the failure wraps around ?

Do the work, let me know

"I am devastated. I don't know what to do right now. Part of me wants to move on, the other part of me wants this to work."

We all have been there, but it will pass.

"I am currently working in SF, and am considering flying back to talk to her"

She has shown her hand, why are you putting energy into this lost cause ? BTW, she cheated once before and this round, with your eyes wide open now, do you think she respects you ?

[–]redpillmonk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got it. Yeah.

I'm 25. Looked at the stats. Interestingly, only 40% fail. The average time apart is 14 months though, which is much much less than what we did.

I personally think failure rate should be higher. A portion of these LDRs probably went through breaks/rocky patches.

[–]nantucketghost0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Buddy it sounds like you got Oneitis bad. She isn't a special angel. Just move on. Fuck three girls and see how you "feel" after.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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