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Ever get a total transformation of feeling toward your partner?

Reddit View
April 5, 2017

Throwaway, but I've been lurking on another account for a while

Have you guys ever found yourself transitioning completely from being totally on board and in love with your partner (mostly LTR but possibly marriage) to just complete annoyance and no desire to see/spend time with them?

Happened to me recently and it caught me off guard. I'm now wondering if my eyes are open and I will now never be able to see them like I did before, or if this is just temporary and might revert back soon?

What is the next logical course of action to take? Sit on those feelings and see if it changes or be honest with them and let it possibly lead to a breakup?

Wondering if you guys have ever had this feeling as well. I'd appreciate any input

Post Information
Title Ever get a total transformation of feeling toward your partner?
Author SandmanRP
Upvotes 9
Comments 34
Date 05 April 2017 02:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (21 children) | Copy

I feel like the possibility of your overall view of your woman/relationship to change rapidly is a sign of the blue pill, instant gratification, and ego butt hurt mindset. Instead, a developed ability to stoic-ly handle the situation, see the bigger picture, and base that mindset on where you are and where you want to be as red pill.

I still fight with internalizing this when feelings get heated with the wife, but the goal is to keep pushing more and more for self control.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia4 points5 points  (18 children) | Copy

There should be a name for that phase. You know, where you are mostly where you should be, but yet she still has a way of getting under your skin.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Given the ever moving goalposts of expectation and the diminishing probability that anyone is going to be exactly who you want them to be even with perfect leadership, I'd call that phase: Life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

The pre acceptance phase

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

I dunno, sometimes people do dumb shit and it just gets to you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

yea. but if its not amusing, thats your problem , not theirs.

Is everyone just off today?

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

A little.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

just checking. me too.

Almost told my boss to fuck off after a very valid criticism.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Oh, I was watching. Almost wrote something. But decided to enjoy my seat on the sidelines this time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Pretty sure it's wiggly and two of her alt accounts

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like it. I was gonna say 9 & 1/2 months. That's when it set in with me. Now I'm the one thinking about doing dumb shit like bogey referred to.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

bullshitting yourself works for me.

Or if you want to be kind, a minor slip up

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

SPT, kind?

Guys, I think someone hacked into Stoneys account.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Always keep em guessing.

Old lady is under work stress, you caught me off a serious comfort-test... Now let's hug it out.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

homosocially-close relationship is more accurate.

[–]SandmanRP[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah this sign of BP seems to be the issue. I'll definitely keep pushing on, keep reading and keep improving and I'll see how it goes. Thanks

[–]Redpillbrigade171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You may be also just beating your head against the wall. Side bar materials and self improvement to the grave fine, but they're not a guarantee that all of a sudden (or eventually or ever) your current relationship will be all honey and roses and pink rainbow unicorns on a sunny day. A lot of men are just not cut out for monogamous long term marriage/ relationships in the current societal norm sense, or at least not until they're 50 or 60. So I'd just be careful trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Many relationships suffer from inevitable inertia once the initial NRE (new relationship energy) dies down. Good ones are worth keeping assuming you have them on your terms &mutually enjoyable and need-satisfying terms, and that you're cool headed about it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do some thought experiments:

What's the worst that could happen if you wait it out a few more months while continuing to improve?

-You become that much better, she's still a harpy and you move on. Picking up another one will be that much easier.

What the best that could happen?

-She sees the changes and decides to change as well and becomes what you want in a woman and it saves you the time and effort of vetting others.

It will probably end up somewhere in the middle. You just need to decided what you're willing to put up with and make a decision.

[–]SandmanRP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very true man, important to do this analysis with all decisions really. Thanks for the reminder

[–]anythingincRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

transitioning completely

You haven't "transitioned completely," you've just confronted your oneitis and realized that a one-sided relationship where you are putting in all the effort with no reciprocity is a waste of your life.

complete annoyance and no desire to see/spend time with them?

That is how anyone (except a codependent) would feel about someone who makes no effort to please them or make them happy. That isn't even RP, that is just being normal.

if this is just temporary and might revert back soon?

If your LTR or wife was attracted to you and tried to make you happy and please you and have a healthy relationship with you...then you wouldn't feel that way. It goes without saying that you might also be worthless and not deserve her attraction, desire, or effort.

What is the next logical course of action to take?

Improve yourself and follow MRP until you either have the balls to leave her and do better, or she regains her genuine desire and attraction and starts working to please you, at which point you won't have these feelings anymore.

[–]SandmanRP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Speaking a lot of truth here. Buckle down, got it. Thanks

[–]2235521 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have had similar feeling, recently, as OP. This is a perfect answer. Thank you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes, it's a standard, yet unwritten about pehnominon. Resentment phase is best I can describe it.

Best explanation so far, is that she either mirrors your previous failures, and it comes out as disgust... or, she was just a shit woman and without wife goggles, you can actually see it now.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I was going to say that the old MMSL forums had a phrase for that called "wife googles." I can certainly say my view of my wife and our relationship changed since I found this place. But then again, my view of her and our relationship was unhealthy co-dependency, so any change from that is a change in the right direction.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting. It hought rpw invented the term.

Was the last thing of value they had before the cuntstorm of 2016... Oh well

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was around for the two weeks I was there before stumbling into this place, so at least three years ago.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's normal in the process.

What you are describing is the result of realizing that she isn't a snowflake, that there are conditions placed on her love for you.

I'm now wondering if my eyes are open and I will now never be able to see them like I did before, or if this is just temporary and might revert back soon?

You're seeing the matrix for what it is.


The only way that happens if you go blue pill, but what needs to happen is that you need to realize that happiness comes from within you. Continue your path.

Come to realize that you are moving on, improving. Keep going. It's her decision to come along or not. Do not waste any time or effort on a person who doesn't make your life better.

[–]SandmanRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I think you're right man. Fuck going BP though, I'm going to double down on the reading and improving and see where this goes. Thanks

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I encounter a similar feeling of resentment. Mine comes from a realization that my wife is rather boring at times. As parents, we are on the same page. As lovers, not at all.

Something as simple as me saying "now that the kids are in bed, let's grab a beer and play cards at the kitchen table". This will guaranteed be "no" everytime. Either she wants to watch tv or read. I go about doing my own thing and display zero butt hurt, yet I totally resent her for it.

It's not that it's her fault in anyway. She truly would rather watch tv than sit in the back yard and have a drink after the kids are asleep. It's that the more I realize I'm in charge of getting what I want, the more I realize this is something I don't want. This is another one of the bitter pills that we must swallow I guess?

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You will never be able to always see her as you did before. However, there may be moments of gratitude/love in the future.

If you don't have kids, this is a sign that you need to plate this one and start gaming other women.

[–]fiddel_fabulous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If had the opposite happen, if I stick to my map and keep up on mrp thought we mesh better.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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