I've been struggling in my LTR, failing even after reading the sidebar, struggling, and losing everyday fights. What actually helped me, was reading comments. They proved to be hugely beneficial to my understanding of practical application of sidebar theory in everyday life. This post is my appreciation of the all commenters work and the time they spent reading about other guys' troubles and tapping their keyboards to help unknown bros improve their lifes.
Shit tests Before: I engaged immediately, DEER-ing to insanity and no effect. What actually helped me was this particular sentence: "Arguing with a woman is like wrestling in mud with a pig. You get dirty, the pig is happy". This, coupled with MRP theories, got me to Now: making fun of them and having fun with them. In particular, when she demands that you make her a tea (a classic shit test opening), I don't make a quarell out of it; instead I make make a tea and place the cup in some place that makes her move - another room or faraway kitchen table. Don't bring it to her, and if she dares demanding it - ridicule her, you have a double advantage here denying to be her cook and waiter at the same time. This is a recipe from some MRP comment, doing miracles.
Lifting I fucking hate lifting. It is mind-numbingly boring, repetetive exercise in a stupifying social environment. But I get that it's needed for many reasons (body sculpting, hormone balancing, making time for yourself etc.). I substituted it with boxing, and man, does it work wonders. Before: boring tv series watching before going to sleep. Now: not only she gets it that I have to go out, she touches my muscles after it, and "let me show you some moves" often leads to fun time (or more, if I feel like it). Having an aura of a boxer (even if you are really a beginner) instantly adds +50 to your masculinity. On bonus, you can slip some hints of it at your workplace for similar benefit.
Leading This is insanely important in every aspect of one's life. Before: I used to be passive unless something really important to me was on table. That led to "I don't care" attitude, which is oftenly mistaken with not giving a fuck. Now: I make decisions and communicate them. This requires some mental work, because not everything about you needs your attention... or so I thought. Now it does. I make decisions about everything, but not get upset when it meets resistance. It's OK to change your mind, but you have to be sure it's what you want, instead of waiting for someone else to tell you that. Works charms in workspace too.
Outcome indepence (OI) That was a hardest thing for me to grasp, I always relied on external appreciation. One phrase which helped me: kill the ego. (Eckhart Tolle's works provide some good techniques for that, as well as broader understanding of how one's own mind makes himself unhappy). Before: I looked for approval for anything I did, from anyone: a shop clerk's smile, a car mechanic agreeing with my asessment, my LTR for everything. Now: I just do. I may talk about it or not, but I never talk about what I am going to do pending approval. FFS, I've lived for nearly a half of a century, it's time to set free from "mom, can I"? mindset.
Diet I used to be fat as fuck, got lean, got fat again. My main problem: addiction to sweets. And to pizza. But it all got down to attacks of hunger, coupled with my LTR's "let's eat some icecream" attitude, that led our refrigerator to be full of ice cream. And pizza. How to resist, when you feel you have to eat something or you will vomit, and the fridge is full of presiousses? Well, some commenter posted about bulletproof coffee. My wife calls it bullshit coffe, but... Before: I was insanely hungry and had eating binges at least twice a week. She did too. Now: I have a bulletproof coffee twice a day, and it works wonders when it comes to suppressing hunger. I cut my diet to below 1500 kcal, and my wife followed suit. We are both losing 6 pounds a mounth effortlessly, thanks to it. Note: you don't have to use the actual bulletproof recipe, a teaspoonful of clarified butter and a teaspoonful of coconut oil does the trick.
These are the main points in which the MRP advices improved my life (while reading the sidebar, NMMNG and WISNIFG made a solid base for it). My general enjoyment of life increased, as well as sex occurences. So, I just wanted to tell you all new and struggling guys: this shit works.
And as a general advice: always be cheerful. Especially when a fight is imminent. If it happens, disengage; be cheerful nevertheless. In normal LTRs that's the best pacifier.
[edited for typoes]