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Field Report | Wife Noticed Me Reading NMMNG – Hypergamy Confirmed

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March 15, 2017
14 upvotes

I was in the bed last night reading NMMNG while the wife was watching TV before bed. I am doing the “Men of March” challenge - thanks to The Family Alpha - so trying to read a bit every night.

So my wife (who always reads over my shoulder) sees that I happen to be on the chapter about sex. So she says “What are you reading?”. I have nothing to hide so I hand her the book. She says “Why are YOU reading this?”. I think I said something about trying to better myself. Then she asked who recommended the book to me – friend, a therapist? I replied “the manosphere”.

She skims some of the chapter and questions why I think I am a nice guy. She informs me that I am more of a bad boy with nice guy qualities. She asks me what qualities or issues I have in common with “nice guys” – I don't really want to have the conversation, so I tell her an abandonment story that involved my father when I was 5 or 6. She is a little surprised since we have been married for almost 17yrs and has never heard the story. I am pretty stoic – so never shared it with her. She asked me what I learned from the book, I pause and say that women don’t really like nice guys.

I re-tell her the story of the summer we met. She was my first and while I’d consider myself good looking, I was a “nice guy” growing up. I had a single mom, raised by women and was catholic (basically I was screwed). The summer I met my wife (in college), I decided that my “nice guy” shit was not working and I decided to be super direct with girls that summer and asked for what I wanted (more of a bad boy/jerk). That summer I had no filter and literally did not give a shit -I had the most success with women than I had ever had (and began dating her). So after that convo she confirmed that girls don’t really like nice guys.

The next morning she initiates another conversation about the book – she wants to revise her “women don’t like nice guys statement”. Basically she tries to hamster hypergamy. Her take is that women are “stupid” when they are young. That is why they go after the “hawt” guy (Chad) when they are young BUT when they get older, they realize that they need someone who is more stable, can be a good father and provider - so they begin to consider the nice guys. I am thinking ummm…..yeah..exactly..hypergamy.

I ask her, “don’t you see how that can make guys angry? Women run around sleeping with the “bad guys” and then once they are done fucking, they are now ready to give the nice guys a chance”. The rest of the convo does not matter. She hamsters on about how guys do the same thing. I basically remove myself from the convo at that point since I am not interested and I am getting ready for work.

As I get ready to leave she actually paused the tv (she is doing my daughter’s hair) and looks up at me and initiates a long, soft 10sec kiss. She will not be fucking the nice version of me tonight.

TLDR: Wife notices me reading NMMNG. She confirms hypergamy. Then she tries to hamster away her confirmation.


Post Information
Title Field Report | Wife Noticed Me Reading NMMNG – Hypergamy Confirmed
Author crimson_chris
Upvotes 14
Comments 49
Date 15 March 2017 07:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206411
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5zlpmg/field_report_wife_noticed_me_reading_nmmng/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
single motheralphaChadhamsterproviderhypergamymanospherefield reportNMMNG
Comments

[–]SeamusAwl15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

While i too have nothing to hide, i would caution you to limit telling your wife about your red pill advised methods of self improvement. When you get one of those "i want a heartfelt apology and you better not fog me" type quotes, your married life just got interesting. I have recently got a "and theres the fog with a little AA".

[–]LBEB803 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Extreme mode engaged!

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

"I want a heartfelt apology and you better not fog me!"

"Yes, I can see you want a heartfelt apology. Apologizing sincerely isn't one of my strong points."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"What is it about my apology that's wrong?"

[–]crimson_chris[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. NMMNG is probably the more tame material. I don't read SGM in front of her.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I did. it is a pdf on my phone. But she knows i have read it.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is more a confirmation of dual mating strategy.

Hypergamy would be her leaving you for me...you know, because I'm 75% more sarcastic.

[–]crimson_chris[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Cool. She comes with two kids and a mortgage.

[–]jacksarmy11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but you will be paying the mortgage

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I smell a running gag! OK, how about...

As long as she pulls her weight in tricks, it's all good...because I'm a pimp and all.

I might have over explained.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you throw in the truck,,.,

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I think hypergamy needs to be replaced in this whole FR with AFBB.

[–]jacksarmy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

1st Rule of fight club

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not so much hypergamy as af/bb or dualistic mating strategy.

The bad boy is what gives them tingles and makes them want to fuck, but the beta provider gives them comfort and security.

Sure, they will exchange sex for resources and security for the bb, but they won't get a craving in their loins for the bb to ravage them.

Hypergamy is more the idea of staying with a man until a better man comes along, then they'll branch swing. Depending on the mood of the day, "better man" could mean any one of a million things. .

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Not bad but be careful, she is probably probing around a little for your intentions and motivations. You want her to believe this is the real you, the version of you that is in the DNA you shoot inside her every time you fuck. If she probes enough, and you talk enough, she may get the idea that this isn't the real you and you're getting told this information by a brain collective of random men online. She doesn't want that DNA.

The natural guys don't ramble on about "nice guys", and "beta bux" and all that shit you were explaining to her, because the natural guys don't give a shit because they never had to experience anything like that. You just "get it", all the other guys? They don't get it. Leave it as short and simple as you can.

[–]drty_prRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

she is probably probing around a little for your intentions and motivations

This right here OP. I hope you were well aware of the conversation that wasn't being spoken during this conversation.

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I guess I DGAF as it is the real me. I am doing this for me and not her. I don't really give a fuck what she thinks about my journey. But, I get your point. No one wants to see the sausage being made. And like most children I expect her to quickly lose interest in what I am reading.....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I guess

This is why you fucked up. I guarantee when she gets emotions flowing, this will come back to haunt you

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Will give you the play-by-play when it does. Her emotions flow constantly so it shant be long.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wouldn't have said "the manosphere". Would have said "heard about it on the internet".

The next morning she initiates another conversation about the book – she wants to revise her “women don’t like nice guys statement”. Basically she tries to hamster hypergamy. Her take is that women are “stupid” when they are young. That is why they go after the “hawt” guy (Chad) when they are young BUT when they get older, they realize that they need someone who is more stable, can be a good father and provider - so they begin to consider the nice guys.

That's when you handed her The Rational Male and said "it's all explained in here - see the parts about SMV and the female aging process." =)

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha.....we've had convo's about the "manosphere" before I joined MR - usually initiated by her. The only reason I do engage with her is that I know that she does agree with and respond to some of the principles (but I usually don't make it overt like last night). My goal is not to share much, but I did not want to hide what I was doing last night.

I really must say that MRP and the side bar is better than any money I could have spent on a therapist to understand "me" and my motivations.

[–]atlhartRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed on that front. To many women, terms like "manosphere" or "red pill" (to those that know), are basically triggers to shut off any small amount of rationality or objectivity they previously had.

Along the lines of MRA stuff. Even mention that you think MRA has some points, and you might as well be a domestic abuser.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thinks it's a Beta-Bucks thing...

It's best not to have these sort of discussions with women in my opinion.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

so they begin to consider the nice guys.

"Good thing that's not my problem anymore."

Conversation ender.

The thing you didn't realize you did is you showed vulnerability and history. This, when you're not a bitch, is an attractive trait. You know what's not though? Trying to logic a woman's feels with "don’t you see how that can make guys angry? Women run around sleeping with the “bad guys” and then once they are done fucking".

Women hamster nice guys because society slut shames women for being truthful about the matter.

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Haha...see your point. I was not trying to slut shame. I wanted to point out the irony of the "nice guy" waiting for his turn and how fucked up that was. But I get it.....logic. What was I thinking?

Showing vulnerability was a bit calculated. I don't open up much......so trying to share myself in a non-bitchy way that does not come across as weak.

Thanks for pointing out about letting her have her feelz.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't open up much......so trying to share myself in a non-bitchy way that does not come across as weak.

I've done that too. Being a nerdy, unconfident kid through high school and all the stuff I learned through PUA. The response I got was "I can't imagine you like that". Works great if the imagine goes completely counter to where you're at now.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

so I tell her an abandonment story that involved my father

Don't do that. Talking about feelz with your woman is BP.

Also, never talk about what you are learning in RP. It's showing your hand. First rule of fight club includes books.

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah but it feels weird to hide it. My approach is that I am not going to initiate conversations, but I am also not going to hide things either. Well...maybe SGM. NMMNG seems pretty benign. She has also commented on my working out and dressing better - so she knows that change is afoot. That being said, I am not planning on introducing her to the wizard.

Being emotional or bitching in front of your woman is BP. Discussing your childhood is connectiing on a emotional level. She physically melted in my arms when I told her that story. I think it came across as strong vs. weak since it forged a new connection. If I was crying and being a weapy bitch as I shared with her.....that would be BP.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not planning on introducing her to the wizard.

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Stop talking.

[–]atlhartRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For the sake of conversation, how do you reconcile that in NMMNG Dr. Glover recommends performing certain exercises in the book with your SO? He recommends kind of sharing the journey, within context of the book, with your SO.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't.

I reconcile this by not caring. Of course, every singe field report of guys who do and end up regretting it help.

Every single time, she just uses it as a cudgel.

I was never here to fix my relationship. I was here to sort my shit out. It's womans work to fix relationships

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

*“don’t you see how that can make guys angry? Women run around sleeping with the “bad guys” and then once they are done fucking, they are now ready to give the nice guys a chance”. *

I was going to say, you were doing so well up until this point, but on balance, it looks like it didn't matter. Good man. Just don't take your foot off the accelerator!

But yeah, agreed with /u/SeamusAwl - don't show her your reading list and let her that far in the circle. NMMNG is probably okay material to let her see/discover. MMSLP? Not so much.

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah...should not have went there. That being said, I know that I was her "Chad" in college - so it was not really a personal attack on her. I had shed most of my "nice guy" persona when we met in college.

Will definitely STFU for a while but I do enjoy the vebal sparring at times. It usually ends with a laugh and a fuck.

[–]milkywayer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

are you fucking stupid?

[–]officerkondo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I have nothing to hide so I hand her the book

This is a mistake. When a woman sees a man reading a self-help book, do you think her pussy gets more or less moist?

Beyond that, to the extent that TRP is about strategy, why would you invite the other team to read your playbook? "I have nothing to hide" does not mean you broadcast every thought you have. What did Vito say to Sonny after their meeting with The Turk?

[–]crimson_chris[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think it depends on the man, the woman and the relationship. If you are a total fuck up, fat and your wife is on the verge of branch swinging - it probably does not help. About a week ago my wife called me Benjamin Button because she feels like I am getting younger (yes, I lift) while she is getting older. For the most part, I have my shit together as well (but always room for improvement, hence MRP).

If you are in a good place (fucking her right, dressing well, decent captain) I don't think it's a big deal. Also, NMMNG is pretty tame. I probably would not have given her MMSLP, TRM or SGM.

Did her pussy go dry? Well, the following night we had ethusiastic sex (she even initiated a new position). But, point taken.

[–]officerkondo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you are in a good place (fucking her right, dressing well, decent captain) I don't think it's a big deal.

For want of a nail...

[–]mattizie-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife just ordered TRM, NMMNG, MMSLP. The only reason I know is because it got sent to the australian address instead of her chinese address.

When I asked her why (she could have just asked me for my copies) she said it's for a friend's husband, "to which I told her good luck: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

I don't think it really matters if they learn your "tricks". If the mindset is there. It doesn't matter because at that point it isn't tricks and fornulated strategies. It's just you.

[–]AmericanViking640 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Even if they read it all, it may not even be possible to internalize it. Men have a hard enough time internalizing it and finding it useful. Im not sure a woman would even be able to not just internalize but then come up with a counter-strategy that was at all effective. Best strategy would be to do what they do best, and just do it harder and longer.

[–]mattizie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get what you're saying. Don't get me wrong. I'm not attempting to diminish the work that has gone into it or make it seem like not a big deal.

All I want to point out is that, while the material is great if not instrumental in the beginning, eventually it becomes second nature. And a strong frame takes over.

I guess it's similar to pickup (of which I'm a noob with little need or ability to actively practice as I'm married)? The lines and routines help alot at first. But eventually you make up your own material, or just wing it. And at that point it doesn't matter if your chick says, hey that's a pickup line, I know what you're doing, because you just roll with it, laugh and later fuck her anyway.

EDIT:

Also. A shit test is there to test you. Her identifying what you are doing and calling you out on it is just another shit test to test you. It's impossible to come up with a strategy to make you fail if you already have the right attitude.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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