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Resolutions317: Parallel universe, or closer to reality?

Reddit View
March 14, 2017

Some of you, like me, have no doubt been following with great interest /u/resolution316's MRP journey. That he tells his stories very well is part of the appeal. It is said that a good fiction writer achieves "suspension of disbelief". A few days after his latest vignette, however, I find my disbelief ever harder to suspend. As a thought exercise, let me tell a different tale, or tell the tale a different way, and ask you to decide which one seems a better interpretation of reality.

Resolutions317: alternate reality, or a true(r) tale?

Once there was a very pretty girl, who grew into the beautiful woman we know of here as Mrs. Resolutions316. She had little else going for her other than her beauty, but like a great many pretty girls, she was spoiled by her parents and indulged by everyone else, and became narcissistic and something of a drama queen. She learned that by acting helpless and sad, men would leap to take care of her; teachers forgave misbehaviors at school; cops let her off without a ticket; smart boys did her homework for her. Being naturally rather passive and lazy, this became her primary means of dealing with any challenges or adversity in life.

As a young woman, she was naturally attracted to the alpha bad boys, and her beauty attracted them. She drifted rather aimlessly through her teens and twenties in a long series of failed relationships, fully expecting one of her Chads to wife her up and take care of her, as men always had. But though her beauty initially attracted attractive men, her passivity, shallowness, and sense of entitlement quickly became tedious, and again and again she ended up back on the cock carousel looking for her knight in shining armor. After yet another tumultuous breakup in her early thirties, she finds herself once again, post-Wall, marooned on the island of Alone.

Emotionally shattered by her latest breakup, despairing of getting a Bad Boy to commit, and really rather alarmed at the prospect of not having a man to take care of her, the future Mrs. Resolutions316 makes a resolution (perhaps even her 316th): she's going to stop dating the alpha Bad Boys she likes who always pump and dump her and leave her emotionally shattered. Instead she'll look for a Nice Guy, the type she has always despised but who now seems like a cool, safe haven in the desert of her life. She'll also date by The Rules this time. Maybe that Nice Guy, Mr. Calmly Calmly Plan (known here as /u/resolutions316) who keeps asking her out, a timid but determinedly pleasant little manlet who damps down all of her emotions like a box of wet cotton and radiates calmness, stability, and a seemingly infinite willingness to take care of her ... in a word, the antithesis of the guys she's normally attracted to who generate the tingles and drama she craves. But in her frazzled emotional state, this feels exactly like what she needs, and he's even kind of cute in a nerdy sort of way. She sends IOIs in his direction.

Mr. Calmly Calmly Plan notices her IOIs and thinks he has won the lottery of life. Fully bought in to the BP/Lean In mantra that after sowing her wild oats on the CC, the hot woman will settle down and actually prefer and desire the steady BB provider, basking in the ego validation, and anyway convinced he's superior to those Bad Boys who stole his lunch money and got all the hot girls in high school, he doesn't question this Beauty and the Nerd fairy tale come true. He courts her, happy to play by The Rules as yet another sign that she has 'matured' into a respectable woman. However, unattracted and bored, she breaks it off and returns to the CC. But after a few more turns on and again crashing off the carousel, and now deeply in post-Wall panic, she grits her teeth and goes back to Mr. Calmly Calmly Plan with the intent to marry him. Like a moth attracted to a flame, he takes her back and marries her, and sets busily about building his perfect life with a house in the suburbs with his always calm and contented SAHM Stepford Wife and 2.7 kids.

His Stepford Wife-to-be represses her vague feelings of dissatisfaction and lack of attraction to her attentive little manlet, which is eased by The Rules not requiring her to put out too much or too enthusiastically, and by her general passivity and dependence on a man to fix her problems (which he'll do by marrying her, right?) The marriage preparations and drama surrounding the wedding bring some welcome emotional excitement into this otherwise bland relationship.

Now she's married to a stable beta provider; safe at last. But wait; this is really tedious and boring; Mr. Calmly Calmly Plan seems terrified of spontaneity or any emotions other than a bland, pastel pleasantness. Maybe being a mother will fill the emotional void. Cue the kids. But she finds that being a housewife and mother involves a lot of tedious work and lacks the kind of emotional drama she craves to add spice and spark to her boring life. Lacking any real self-awareness, she attributes her dissatisfaction to the tedious daily chores and the minor frustrations of parenting; cue the 'helpless and hopeless' complaints to her husband who, also lacking in any real introspection but always willing to take on more, slowly assumes most of the duties for the entire household.

Since this was never the real problem, things just get worse. By now Mrs. Resolutions316 has lost all respect and desire for this bland and now infuriating little man who crushes all spontaneity, emotional excitement, drama, and passion out of her life with steamroller-like efficiency; he's an emotional gaoler locking her spirit in a padded cell. The very thought of sex with this chump is now too sickening to bear, so after becoming pregnant with their second child, she refuses to resume sexual relations. In her frustration and boredom with the mundane challenges and tedium of mothering she continues to turn to the only solution she's ever really known; act helpless and hopeless and let a man come and take care of it.

Meanwhile, Mr. Resolutions316 is viewing his situation with slowly growing alarm. His Stepford Life with his Stepford Wife isn't turning out as he had hoped; she seems permanently discontented, doesn't always follow his many Plans, and most of all she refuses to fuck him! Since she complains about being overwhelmed by the mundane responsibilities of life, he doubles, then triples, then quadruples down on the choreplay until he's essentially doing everything, but she doesn't improve. Always looking for an outside authority to give him answers and to reassure him he's doing the right thing, Mr. Resolutions316 discovers MRP. At last, some confident men seem to have an answer to his problems; if he diligently follows the 12 Steps of Dread program, he'll get his Stepford Life with his Stepford Wife back again!

At first, it seems to work. He develops a tiny bit of frame and manages to stand firm against some minor emotional outbursts from his wife. Finally sensing some steel to strike against in the padded cotton of her husband, the long-lost tingles spark in his wife and she has sex with him three times. But alas, it does not last. As her emotions expand, they once again overwhelm and terrify her timid little manlet, so much so that he retreats in panic again behind the padded walls and questions her very sanity. Egged on by other traumatized men who only hear his side of the story and validate his fears, he seeks professional help to fix her.

Whatever will happen next? Stay tuned at /u/resolutions316.


Gentlemen of AskMRP, is this

  • alternate reality fan fiction?

  • a modern-day The Turn of the Screw?

  • a more accurate interpretation of reality than /u/resolutions316's OPs?

Edit: Changed dating details for consistency with this post.

Added links. Fixed typos.

Post Information
Title Resolutions317: Parallel universe, or closer to reality?
Author man_in_the_world
Upvotes 13
Comments 17
Date 14 March 2017 03:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
entitlementtinglesalphabetaframeproviderdramapump and dump

[–]BobbyPeru5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since she complains about being overwhelmed by the mundane responsibilities of life, he doubles, then triples, then quadruples down on the choreplay until he's essentially doing everything, but she doesn't improve.

This is a great example of a very common BP pitfall

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. And the exact same thing before and after MRP, actually isn't the same at all. There is a world of difference between choreplay and ownership. Frame.

Do something because she likes it - beta faggot fail.

Do something because it's awesome or needs doing - failure is impossible. Only improvement matters.

The thing itself doesn't matter.

This pitfall can persist when, after a change, she is still accustomed to reaction from her complaints, and it takes time for her to see that it ain't about her anymore, but the beta keeps trying. There is no try. Fall down? Get up.

In my case, it started as exclusion of her and a total reclamation of my life, but I'm now seeing that she wants to participate, and when I'm the guide, she follows... much better than I thought she was capable of, but it's an acta non verba thing. Talking about it, explaining it, is just a new way to fail.

[–]resolutions3164 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well, at least people think I'm a good writer.

I'll do my best not to jump in here and try to defend myself. I'm fully aware I don't have a great overview of my situation specifically because I'm IN it.

I'm just going to keep coming on here and trying to digest differing viewpoints.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Believe it or not, I get little pleasure from beating you up anonymously on the internet. I wrote this mostly for you, hoping that by letting you see your story from the outside, you could gain the perspective you need to understand what we're trying to tell you, and why.

Now that the first sting and butthurt is past, read this again, impersonally, as a story about people you've never met, maybe even fictional characters. Read it as an English major would:

  • What are the characters' motivations?

  • What are the characters' flaws, that the author is trying to convey?

  • What are the recurring themes? Why does the author highlight these?

  • What is the source of conflict between the characters?

  • What is preventing a happy resolution to this story?

  • What would have to change, in any or each character or the situation, for a different or happier resolution, or for change to occur?

  • What different action by one of the characters, at points X, Y, Z in the story, would have led to a different outcome? A more desirable outcome?

  • What are the possible endings to this unfinished story? What would have to change, in any or each character or the situation, to lead to each of these endings? What actions would each character need to take?

I'm just going to keep coming on here and trying to digest differing viewpoints.

Dude, you're like an escaped lab mouse who smells cheese, running frantically around and around looking for a lever to push to get it. "There's always been a lever. My entire life, there's always been a lever. Must. Find. Lever." Any time you read the truly useful comments here, you think "no, not a lever" and scurry on. There is no fucking lever in the wild! Stop scurrying, and reflect. Focus on understanding, not searching. First you need to see the matrix for what it is, and you for what you are and what you aspire to be. Then you need to become your frame, not wield it like a magic sword in a video game.

That sounds so fucking mystical, but it really isn't; it's just finding, accepting, and acting in congruence with your authentic self and goals.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok. I really appreciate the time and thought that went into these comments.

I've read these through but I'm going to spend some time thinking them over.

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You tell a story pretty well too bro. I'm looking forward to your next installment more.

[–]Thirtysomethink1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is fantastically well-written. I want to read your novel.

[–]SgtSilverBack0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Add a forth option. Rhetorical question. If this is the pilot, I cant wait for episode 2.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pilot? This is a rerun. You, and we, have all seen this play out so many times, exactly the same way, that it isn't even funny.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Holy shit, just read his last post. This guy is fucked...

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret[S] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

This guy is fucked...

Only because he chooses to be.

His wife actually seems like an easy case; /u/stonepimpletilists or /u/weakandsensitive would straighten her out in less than a day, and she'd be much happier for it.

[–]resolutions3161 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm honestly curious what this means. Are we talking the "pack her bags, kick her out of the house for several days until she is sufficiently sorry and then let her back in on a trial basis" plan?

Is it wrong that this seems literally insane to me? She is an adult.

[–]AmericanViking642 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I am genuinely curious, what do you do for work? Are you good at it? Are you exceedingly good at it? What other things do you excel at, naturally? Lots of smart/experienced people here have given you valuable guidance and your still confused so I wonder what it is that you understand and find natural that has nothing to do with your wife/relationship. Usually the best indicator is a mans profession.

[–]resolutions3161 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah - especially lately, when reading the advice on here it's like I'm missing some fundamental earlier bit of information - like skipping ahead to calculus without multiplication. Or it could be that there's some fundamental internal discovery/change I haven't made that's making it hard for me to process.

I run a small online advertising agency. I also run a small record label/perform as a musician. My day to day is very focused on the business, entrepreneurship, etc... lots of data crunching, trying to think of innovative approaches, selling on the phone, etc. We're a team of 4.

Edit: as for being good at it, I'm very good at coming up with new ideas/approaches. I tend to be extremely empathetic and am good at connecting with customers.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are we talking the "pack her bags, kick her out of the house for several days until she is sufficiently sorry and then let her back in on a trial basis" plan?

Is it wrong that this seems literally insane to me?

This is because you misread this as a random reaction to her frame. In fact it has nothing to do with "making her sufficiently sorry", which again would be a reactive, butthurt response entirely in her frame.

In fact, this is a tightly scripted play, very carefully designed to convey (largely through actions but also a few critical words) in a dramatic can't-be-ignored way, a narrative regarding his vision of an acceptable family life, his expectations of her if she wants to participate in a family life with him, and of the high-level choices available to her. This play is carefully designed to allow and encourage certain outcomes and choices, and to block others (inaction or stasis; it forces a choice).

As a homework exercise, deconstruct this "throw her out of the house" play:

  • What vision of family life does /u/stonepimpletilists intend to convey through his script?

  • What expectations of her if she wants to participate in family life with him does he convey?

  • How are these expectations encapsulated in a narrative, and how is that narrative conveyed by his script?

  • What are the possible choices and corresponding outcomes?

  • What choices are deliberately blocked by playing it this way?

I would do it slightly differently, but my script would convey the same vision and narrative and similarly prescribe the possible outcomes. There are a thousand scripts that could convey the same narrative, and each man should craft the one for himself that best fits his situation, goals, and authentic self, but first you have to know the narrative you're trying to convey.

Little of what we're saying about frame or frame-based behaviors will make any sense until you focus on the narratives, the stories being lived that the actions always reflect and convey. Frame is living assertively in character ... in your authentic, self-actualized character ... but you must have an authentic self, a personal narrative that you're living, a vision you're working toward, to have a frame.

You are curiously autistic to story and narrative for an English major; you seem more committed to an algorithmic, learn-the-process-and-blindly-push-the-buttons approach to things than even most of our many engineers here. The whole point of a liberal education is to learn to live an intentful, considered life; apply your education to your life! Deconstruct your own and others' narratives, and construct your own authentic narratives and live them!

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players" ― William Shakespeare

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That strategy was bullshit. Throwing her out would just backfire because you don't have the frame to do it.

You're trying to fix a broken woman before fixing yourself. It's not going to happen overnight. Work on your frame and in the meantime revel in the batshit that's going on around you. It's temporary, one way or the other

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And she would be much happier with them too.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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