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how to keep fiancee's feet on the ground?

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March 7, 2017
10 upvotes

I know there are no unicorns, but I've got it pretty damn good with my fiancee- HB 7-8, young, thin, fit, submissive, enthusiastic in bed, speaks 3 languages, works and supports herself financially, and is traditional in the sense that she believes it's her duty to do the cooking/cleaning/laundry.

she's an opera singer and recently her career has started to skyrocket- she's being cast in productions with top companies and famous-in-the-industry directors/producers, getting interviews and positive reviews in European media, followers on social media telling her how amazing she is, etc.

I'm legitimately glad she works hard and is having success- I can't stand lazy women who bring nothing to the table- but I also want to make sure she doesn't get a big ego as a result of all this attention. She needs to keep up being sweet and submissive and fun and productive around the house, not start to believe all the hype and let negative bitchy lazy traits start to creep in. She hasn't given me any red flags yet, but AWALT, so I want to kill any diva behaviour before it starts. Any ideas on how exactly to do that? in addition to the obvious, i.e. keeping up my own SMV.


Post Information
Title how to keep fiancee's feet on the ground?
Author acteon37
Upvotes 10
Comments 24
Date 07 March 2017 05:21 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206447
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5y1v1l/how_to_keep_fiancees_feet_on_the_ground/
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AWALTHBsexual market value
Comments

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have no control over her whatsoever. The fact that you're even attempting to control or influence her is very concerning. My guess is that you're starting to get insecure. You're probably a normal guy and she is bordering on celebrity status and will probably be hanging around other high status celebrity males.

There's nothing you can do but focus on yourself. Be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be, develop and enforce your boundaries and be ready to cut her loose in an instant if she violates any of them.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's too early to say, but you may have stumbled upon the quintesenntal "Oprah Conundrum". You can be a Stedman and quite successful in your own right, but he ain't gonna ever touch Oprah success. It happens to all of us at one point or another.

Best thing to do, don't worry about it. Be masculine, funny, and give her shit when any diva pops out. And when you're legitimately proud of her, sprinkle in some Daddy-love and sincerely tell her that you're proud of her. If you're the Alpha in her life, she'll melt in your arms from hearing you recognize and care about her success. But do it all from a position of masculine strength, not submissive cowering.

And if she does have excess money follow her success, start outsourcing all the bullshit in your lives. Have someone clean, do laundry and all the other random shit that takes up time. Then YOU plan fun activities that you both can enjoy.

Oh and buy yourself something pretty...

I'm kidding. Remember, Beta Bux doesn't get you jack shit. The tale of the Doctor's wife fucking the pool boy is lore for a reason...money doesn't tickle the vagina unless you're at a strip club. Be a legitimate masculine presence of whatever woman you choose to be with...

[–]acteon37[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

for some reason I can't upvote (I assume because I'm new), but this is solid advice. Thanks.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You probably have to subscribe to vote.

[–]anythingincRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

She can be a diva on stage, that is her job. But to be in a relationship with you she also needs to needs to be LTR/wife material. There is no reason a woman can't be both, but it can be difficult, depends on how susceptible she is to it. The only thing you can do is absolutely DO NOT be insecure. She's your good little girl until she crosses a line, and then she's gone. Same as any other woman. Have that frame and hold it. Don't pedestalize her because she is pretty or talented...a woman HAS to be pretty and talented to be able to be with you, it doesn't get her bonus points.

You are going to have to go to events. You are going to have to be charming and cultured and attractive. You are going to have to be her match in social settings. A homebody rube dating an opera singer is just star-crossed. If that isn't the life you want then you need to do some thinking.

Baby, you ARE amazing, and talented, and my heart soars when you sing, and you did great in that interview, and I'm proud of you for your success. But that is not why we are together. I am not with Carmen, or Suzuki...I am with you. I do not love Brunnhilde, I love who you are when you and I are together. I am not your backup, I am your fiance.

That is a pretty good frame to have, she doesn't have want to live inside it with you, but then she doesn't get to be your ltr/wife material either. No loss. If a woman is a frigid bitch in our house I don't care what the fuck she does outside of it. You are both adults, and you are both have to choose to be with each other at various stages in the future. Good luck, don't be an insecure bitch.

[–]acteon37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am in the industry myself and already regularly attend events. I also lift regularly, dress well, and am generally conscious of keeping my SMV high. You're right- the key is to hold frame and be the one who doesn't put her on a pedestal; anything beyond that is me overthinking.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

you sound worried that she isn't going to be around to make you your sammich.

Why is that?

[–]mattizie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a similar situation regarding my wife's success.

My perspective is as follows: the things I value in my wife are: her fidelity, her strong family values, her beauty, and decent sex. Money, power and fame don't enter the SMV equation for her as far as I'm concerned.

If you don't let it phase you (and it shouldn't), she will pick up on that and that's the best you can do.

Just keep working on yourself, have ground rules, and be prepared to walk away if she crosses the line.

[–]TotesMessenger2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I also want to make sure she doesn't get a big ego as a result of all this attention.

This is not known or well characterized territory. A woman who becomes a star with a would be Alpha hubby. It could work. Not sure how you can best make it work.

I can tell you of my experience. My wife is something of a Star. She is a high powered, high earning attorney. I have to be loud, obnoxious, even brutal just to get her attention.

She complained about me tonight. She said something like "why are you are such a dick." I smiled and ignored her and instead turned to my 10 y/o son.

"Imagine bulldozer, one of those asphalt flattening machines. Now imagine two guys. You know the kind that squishes the roadrunner.

"OK," he said.

Guy #1 is not a dick. He is calm and quietly, timidly, weakly, raises his arm to stop.

Guy #2 is a dick. He yells and screams. He curses at the top of his lungs "Stop the god damn machine and back off RIGHT NOW."

Which guy gets flattened?

My 10 year old laughed (he got it completely) and my wife whined "Hey, I am not a bulldozer!" The guys slapped high fives while she continued to complain.

TLDR: Neg Hits, and an Iron DNGAF Frame is needed for a star but you also have to be nice and make her life better; needy/worried/insecure/butthurt ego isn't going to cut it.

[–]anotherswingingdick0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

She is a high powered, high earning attorney.

that's not a star. That's not even uncommon.

God-damn, you have the oneitis pretty bad.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My oneitis was never in question but my advice stands. An attorney is analogous to a star. Arrogant, always right, expects the royal treatment, needs a man unfazed and able to stand up to her but also provides a respite as the emotional rock in the relationship etc.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

An attorney is analogous to a star.

regardless of your advice being right, that is your issue not hers.

Attorneys are not stars. "High powered" attorneys more so. Its like sales. They closed some deals.

Tell her to give you her panties and go to a function with her. Or to court. With her panties in your pocket. Smirk as she does her thing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol.

This is how every guy ends up mate guarding and losing her to chad. Stop GAF, and be OK when she leaves. Like anything, she's not yours, it's just your turn

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ohh man dude, you know this forum is facetious, right? tongue-in-cheek? nobody comes here sincerely looking for advice, but that's what you appear to be doing. i would seriously re-evaluate your relationship if this is where you are coming for advice.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Live in today, and stop projecting into the future. When the future comes, live in today.

Rinse, repeat.

[–]Spicy_Clam_Sandwich0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

a hammer and nails works

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Worst case she is pre-selection fodder for the future.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

huh.

so this is what the early stage of oneitis looks like

[–]acteon37[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

To my thinking there is a difference between recognizing that your current partner ticks many of your boxes and thus is worth putting some effort into, and being so insistent on that one person that you give up your dignity in a misguided attempt to lock them down.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I also want to make sure... . She needs...

This. You are worried about her. She walks she walks. She was never yours. why are you worried about it? Is it the desired result? No. But what can you do? It's her decision to stay or go. What can you do?

...which leaves me with....

She hasn't given me any red flags yet

Men are not troubled by things themselves, but by their thoughts about them -Epictetus

[–]Griever114-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know there are no unicorns, but I've got it pretty damn good with my fiancee- HB 7-8, young, thin, fit, submissive, enthusiastic in bed, speaks 3 languages, works and supports herself financially, and is traditional in the sense that she believes it's her duty to do the cooking/cleaning/laundry.

No unicorns but all i hear about is the shiny horn on her head. You are setting yourself up for failure already.

I can't stand lazy women who bring nothing to the table- but I also want to make sure she doesn't get a big ego as a result of all this attention

Keep being a quality male WITH ENFORCED BOUNDARIES and dont let it happen

She hasn't given me any red flags

The ring isnt on her finger yet.

AS it has been said here time and time again. No one gives a fuck about her here. This space is here for YOU. Be the best YOU. WE dont care about anything else.



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