I've been dating the same girl for around 6 years now. I popped the question a while back, but I'm debating breaking up now. Randomly, while were discussing our plans, she said she wanted a hyphenated last name. It went like this
So, I've been thinking and I want a hyphenated last name
m: a lot of people do that, I've never really thought about it. have you thought about why?
her: I don't know, I feel like it helps me keep some independence
m: you're right marriage is a one-way hostage(tongue in cheek, btw), what about kids, when they come?
(for reference, I only asked this because I know girls get all dreamy and weird when you start talking about the future)
her: I don't know
m: cool, you talk to your dad about it?
(she's raised by a single dad - he's pretty cool, pretty redpilled, won custody of his daughter back in 92 or something)
her: I didnt ask him, I asked [her best female friend who is single and pregnant].
m: So, why'd ya bring it up ya goof?
her: I don't know, I guess
m: lets go to to bed, babe
here I am today please advise? seems like a red flag.
I'm not really here nor there about breaking up. I am fond of her, but I'd rather break up before we're married. I can watch for red flags, but we're getting married in November. Don't wanna wait too long.
thanks /r/askMRP in advance. independence + marriage sounds pretty fucking stupid.
I made an edit but I'm not sure what happened to it. Anyway case seems to be closed on her end, but I'm pretty put off of marriage already now. As I said to a poster as a reply:
Thanks for the well thought out and written reply. I really appreciate it. I had posted an edit to the OP with what happened when I told her when I got home from work - before she left for work but I'm not sure what happened. It was brief. I said something like, you know, if you want more independence you could always move out (tongue in cheek), she called me a dick (tongue in cheek) I said something along the lines of "in all seriousness if we're going to get married, you get the dress, ring, last name and get to call yourself mine" she kinda just giggled and left for work. She shot me a text just about five minutes ago saying "you know what, [her first name] + [my last name] has a better ring to it anyway, love you <3" I guess she got concerned and is now trying to do damage control, but personally this whole thing woke me up to how little I actually want to go through the trouble of this shit when what we have is fine.