Do you guys even miss your LTR/Wife when you're apart? How do you deal with LTR neediness?

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2017-02-09T04:47:39+00:00

Sex is once a month or less. She knows damn well you don't miss her.

ford_contour · 2017-02-09T02:09:40+00:00

Don't lie to her.

Do say something kind, because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow.

Find one of the following that is true, or something similar:

"I'm looking forward to having dinner with you tomorrow night." "It's nice to have some space, but I'm looking forward to (thing you enjoy doing together), when I get back."

Worst case, you can use a simple

"I'll see you tomorrow night."

Remember, the anger phase does go away. Respect yourself during it. Respect her during it.

Above all, realize it's your choices that got you here and it will be your choices that get you somewhere better.

If you feel like you might be coming across as an asshole, you probably are.

Find some awareness exercises and work through your own feelings - until you feel confident that you're treating your wife at least as well as any other woman in your life - not because she deserves it, bit because that's part of being a high value man.

Edit: Also, congrats on the weight loss. You can succeed at that, you can succeed at anything. You've got this.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2017-02-09T01:23:03+00:00

That's a tough one. If you want her around you may have to fake it till you make it. Zero comfort is the number 1 reason women file for divorce.

I don't suggest telling her you love her if you don't. But take an interest in her day. Joke around. Be playful. You still have to game her if you want to end your deadbedroom. You dont have to dote on her. Just have fun.

If nothing changes you're on the fast track to one of you leaving.

stonewall1979 · 2017-02-09T01:58:35+00:00

God knows I'm still a rookie but I feel that you have to maintain a balance between the alpha & beta. If you're still working through your anger phase, its hard to feel like she deserves to hear the "I miss you" and "I love you". Sometimes you have to give that white lie and say you miss her. I see it as a comfort test from her. She wants to see that she's still important to you, or she's a ball buster trying to assert dominance. The tone of it should tell you what way it's going and if it's a comfort or a shit test.

Now don't be a sappy bitch about it, throw in some AA & AM. Turn it around on her with a smile, use the time away to work on your abundance mentaility, OI, and dread. Go out, meet people, chat them up at the bar or restsurant or gym. Keep worthing toward your goals, find your balance.

As for feeling like you're in or near a dead bedroom, work on your dread, if you haven't yet watch BPP's youtube videos on Dread and read his book. Keep working out, read SGM if you haven't yet. As I've been told in a past post, a scared woman is an excited woman, get the emotions flowing, go for a late night hike in the woods, haunted house, or see a scary movie. There are a lot of ways to stimulate her emotions and get her excited and a lot of smarter men then me have better examples available.

Just my two cents. I expect and hope that the MRP veterans will comment to correct us both.

[deleted] · 2017-02-09T02:01:08+00:00

Connect once for every two days you are gone. When she asks if you miss her, make it playful. It will take a while to learn, since you are used to putting your dick between your legs and saying "of course, dear", but you'll figure it out if you grasp everything else we say here.

Saying "I love you" is meaningless. Just say it and save the times you dont say it for a special nuke-type situation which you are far from a healthy approach to.

You cant really build any comfort or attraction through text, phone, facetime... but you can lose it. Just do the regular shit, but cut down the frequency a little. Your wife needs to have some reason to think you may be getting into some bullshit out there on the road. And blowing kisses over FaceTime at 9pm aint gonna do it

JDRoedell · 2017-02-09T13:05:47+00:00

You don't miss her because you essentially have a roommate that helps you raise kids. When you were single and had a roommate did you ever miss him when you were gone? Fuck no. If however, you are ok with 1 time a month sex then you are getting what you need from the marriage. (I'm not being sarcastic here)

Overall don't worry about not missing her. It at least shows you aren't being needy and don't have oneitis. That's a few steps ahead of many here. Sidebar and continue upping leadership.

[deleted] · 2017-02-09T17:36:45+00:00

Ah, hate to say it, you sound like a friend of mine (navy)

Came home after a 3 month sail, went on course for 3 months a weekend after he got back. Wife hounded him 'are you done yet?' during sex, and clearly phoning it in.

They are divorced now, sad story. A few things:

this shit is what makes hypergamy a bloodsport. Once you start talking with your new co workers, they will fill you in on a lot of the horror stories, and if they start to warn you, listen...
Lip service. She is giving comfort tests, easy to knock these out of the park by short comfort bursts.
Mentally, you have to hope for the best, prepare for the worst. You know her better than us. Encourage and lead her into a social life outside of pining for you (that will not end well), but be preapred for what lonely women can do... Establish this boundary, and make sure it has teeth.
No one jumps of a moving train, be high quality. Best defense is a good offense

good luck

SeamusAwl · 2017-02-09T02:40:02+00:00

Dead bedroom is happening - sex at once a month or less... last head I got must have been 6 months + ago

That is the crux of your problem. It would annoy me to no end to get calls, texts, something, anything from my wife when one of us was travelling during my dead bedroom. I hated that woman because I couldn't stick my dick in her. I felt entitled to her and used to joke "she said I do, but really she meant i don't no more." On more than one occasion i contemplated coming home with papers. Especially after each round of exceptional naggy bitchiness.

Then I realized, it was all me. Swallowed that red pill and started leading her and our girls. She was going to let me lead, or she was going to get the fuck out of my way. Fortunately for her she said "oh thank god" and started initiating within weeks. She said it took so long because she was scared it wasn't going to last.

470_2_700_nm · 2017-02-09T15:26:36+00:00

sex at once a month or less

This is your problem. Get your BF down another 3-5%. Are you lifting? Gaming her? Keno? You still have far to go on your journey.

last head I got must have been 6 months

I found grabbing her head and fucking her mouth helps. She doesn't always have to do the work. Also my favourite line lately is "I'm going to get you to start sucking my dick on the regular again". She smiles. Best delivered when she is on her knees.

This is a little extreme, but my approach is to save "I love you" for never. Show her with your actions in life, in bed, and especially hugging / affection after anything sexual. Your words are meaningless. For example she face-times "I love you" and you say "good then show me your tits". When she declines say "oh that's too bad. Look forward to showing you how I feel with my dick." If she withdraws disengage conversation in an upbeat manner and fuck off somewhere for the evening - YOU ARE ALIVE!!!

All other interaction with her should be masculine in nature. Be forward. Use innuendos. Carry her. Try to pull her pants down in the bathroom when she is not expecting it so she can say no and keep going even though she says no. Then finally just leave after telling her it's going to be great when you get inside her.

[deleted] · 2017-02-09T03:15:32+00:00

Nah I never miss my wife when out of town and nobody I know does either.

My kids I do miss

Good one on joining the police -by the end of it you'll be way out earning her

alpha_as_chiwawa · 2017-02-09T06:21:15+00:00

If I'm traveling, frankly I don't miss neither the LTR nor the kids. There's usually so much going on there is no time to miss them.

If I'm home alone and they visit their grandparents, then I do start to miss them, the kids more so.

Title	Do you guys even miss your LTR/Wife when you're apart? How do you deal with LTR neediness?
Author	LennyRedPill
Upvotes	9
Comments	23
Date	09 February 2017 01:04 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/206536
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5swwkq/do_you_guys_even_miss_your_ltrwife_when_youre/