Had the urge all day long to throw the wife over my shoulder, carry her upstairs, throw her on the bed, rip her clothes off, and fuck her so hard she walks funny tomorrow. But I fell asleep putting my son to bed, and when I woke up I went to my bed to go to sleep. I woke up thinking about doing what I'd imagined all day... And the beta monster came and sprinkled his fairy dust all over me. I laid there imagining all the reasons I couldn't do it... She doesn't like to be dominated, she'll complain that my shoulder is hurting her when I carry her up the stairs, it could really damage the relationship if I just push past the defenses and dominantly fuck her silly, I don't want to go Rambo here am I, maybe I need to work out more and get bigger before she'll be into that.... Blah blah fucking blah. I got over myself in time to go downstairs and find her asleep on the couch despite the fact that today's a scheduled sex day. She woke up and wandered upstairs to go to bed. I thought multiple times about picking her up right then but was too big a pansy to do it. So upstairs we went. I was upset at myself (not her... I'm not butt hurt here... This isn't really her fault at all. I'm pissed off at myself) so I got my gym clothes and got dressed to go for a run. Wife asked where I was going. I told her I was going out for a run to get out some energy. Ran and now I'm sitting here, pissed at myself, and wondering how the hell I let myself become this big of a bitch.