706,399 posts

I'm furious... At myself

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January 25, 2017
7 upvotes

Had the urge all day long to throw the wife over my shoulder, carry her upstairs, throw her on the bed, rip her clothes off, and fuck her so hard she walks funny tomorrow. But I fell asleep putting my son to bed, and when I woke up I went to my bed to go to sleep. I woke up thinking about doing what I'd imagined all day... And the beta monster came and sprinkled his fairy dust all over me. I laid there imagining all the reasons I couldn't do it... She doesn't like to be dominated, she'll complain that my shoulder is hurting her when I carry her up the stairs, it could really damage the relationship if I just push past the defenses and dominantly fuck her silly, I don't want to go Rambo here am I, maybe I need to work out more and get bigger before she'll be into that.... Blah blah fucking blah. I got over myself in time to go downstairs and find her asleep on the couch despite the fact that today's a scheduled sex day. She woke up and wandered upstairs to go to bed. I thought multiple times about picking her up right then but was too big a pansy to do it. So upstairs we went. I was upset at myself (not her... I'm not butt hurt here... This isn't really her fault at all. I'm pissed off at myself) so I got my gym clothes and got dressed to go for a run. Wife asked where I was going. I told her I was going out for a run to get out some energy. Ran and now I'm sitting here, pissed at myself, and wondering how the hell I let myself become this big of a bitch.


Post Information
Title I'm furious... At myself
Author RedPillQuest
Upvotes 7
Comments 31
Date 25 January 2017 04:38 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206599
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5q18vo/im_furious_at_myself/
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Comments

[–]InChargeManRed Beret16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

today's a scheduled sex day

The fuck?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

7 pumps per minute, no faster than 2 inch/second. you can have a post sex 50 second hang time, then detach, wash up, and bed before 2100.

Sign here, here, and initial here

[–]InChargeManRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol at the feed rate.

You've got to get it notarized if you want to make it enforceable.

2.5.2 - Semen Ingestion: At the discretion of the "recipient" semen may be received in the oral cavity of the "recipient", as agreed upon on a case by case basis. The only allowable method of delivery is direct ejaculation onto the soft-palate, i.e. no "snowballing" or "deep throat" delivery. It is the responsibility of the "ejaculator" to limit the total volume to less than 3 ml and viscosity less than 50,000 cps. Violation of this agreement will result in shit testing including belittling behavior and derogitory comments for a period not to exceed 72 hours.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can see why he's angry with himself, there's so much detail, so easy to make a stupid mistake

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now where are the liquidated damages here? Here I'll add this to the contract:

5.4.3 - Balls in mouth: If timed "balls in mouth" variable does not reach 60 seconds, violation will result in mandatory daily bukaki for the duration of 7 days.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I got over myself in time to go downstairs and find her asleep on the couch despite the fact that today's a scheduled sex day.

What is this scheduled sex you speak of? I hope you see now how bad an idea scheduled sex is.....you are now blaming her for falling asleep on sexday......how could she.

And now you deny your sexual nature out of fear of upsetting her on sexday.

Initiate whenever wherever.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Scheduled sex came two years ago from MC. I have another post in here where I wanted to cancel scheduled sex. Cooler heads made great suggestions. I've told her that I'll initiate whenever and wherever I want to... But that scheduled sex also remains in addition.

No blaming here. It's not her fault at all. I screwed up. I was a pansy. The blame belongs with me. There's no victim puke going on here. It's just a recount of last night's experience for two reasons: 1) so that I can look back at my experiences and improve, and 2) so that others can draw on my experience, hopefully making that decision to go down and initiate the way they want to rather than thinking and fretting over it until the opportunity is gone like I did.

[–]BobbyPeru8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

So do it tomorrow. Quit the self pity party.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My thoughts exactly. Not going to think about it. Just going to do it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's hard with frustration driving you to act. The difficult part is understanding in this moment no action may be the best action.

We preach lift weights in order that you have an outlet. You have an action you can take to release the pent up emotions and make yourself better. There are times when this will not soothe the beast. In those moments, realize at the worst you will become the best version of yourself. She has no such alternative.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Mistakes are neither positive nor negative. Don't get angry at the lost opportunity or the incorrect action. Instead take it as a point of information; data with which to proceed.

Your mental gymnastics come from the point of fear. You're afraid of the results that may come. Instead take it from a position of cause and reaction. "OK, so this time I did XYZ and this was the result."

You need to embrace the unknown to move past the fear that is paralyzing you from action. What is your fear? Is it that she won't fuck you more than she already isn't? Is it fear of rejection? Take your woman off the pedestal that you have her on. Remember, you've already fucked her. She's not some HB10 sitting on a bar stool that you're trying to bang.

Identify the fear and deal with that.

[–]crimson_chris1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ditto on the fear. To get things on track my wife and I had picked Wed as our sheduled weekday sex.

One wed night I was super horny but I was busy with work or something and she fell asleep before I got to bed. Like OP I was really annoyed and simmering. I was mad at her for god knows what and scared to initiate and piss her off since she had fallen asleep. Fucking beta monster.

But my cock monster (fed by MRP) was hungrier than my beta monster (fed by Disney and women). Something just came over me. I furiously pulled her pants off, flipped her over and started fucking her. At one point I pulled her to the side of the bed, put her in doggie and then turned on the lights so I could see myself fucking her. It was one of the most memorable fucks (for me) in our 20+ years together. 100% caveman.

Be attractive. Kill the fear. Feed the beast. (FYI - waking your wife with caveman fucking WILL NOT work if you are a fat bastard who does not OYS - your wife will prob scream rape.)

[–]stew70001 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's dope. Did you eventually get rid of scheduled sex? I've had it weekly, and have put a stop to it (at least for now) because of how routine and vanilla it's always been. On a sex moratorium for a couple more weeks and then thinking I won't re-institute scheduled because it kills the mystery and spontaneity.

[–]crimson_chris-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Somewhat. Basically she knows I expect sex at least twice a week - so one day during the week and one day on the weekend but.....it's not always Wed. Again....a min, not a max. We kinda don't need it anymore. We did need it last year.

Dude...why the moratorium? Even if the wife and I had sex on Wed...it was at different times...different rooms....different positions. I mean anything is boring if you do it the same way every time.

[–]stew70000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just some time for both of us to reset. I felt confident about it and only instituted it for a few weeks. Lifting is filling in the gap in the meantime, and I can tell the attraction is growing during the moratorium. I'll report results later.

[–]deemad323 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get over it, tomorrow's another day . The scheduled sex thing - you might want to rethink. Routine and regulatory are not sexy

[–]GongShanks3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been right where you are. I've not initiated. Initiated strong and got denied. I've initiated and succeeded. I've done tepid initiations. And I've sat there talking myself out of it.

Rarely, if ever, was the response what I'd anticipated.

You fear rejection still. You fear embarrassment still. You fear the pain. But you are already rejecting yourself and causing yourself pain. So what do you really fear here?

You fear upsetting your wife. You want to be nice. You want her to be happy and closer to you, not pissed, bewildered and forced into rejecting you, right?

Here's the thing. You don't know how she will react until you act. You have to act.

Paraphrasing Braveheart. Do you know what happens if you don't act?

Nothing.

[–]Aswad441 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

...don't be shill of your own missery. Stop complaining and start your plan.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Scheduled sex day sucks.

I agree with the others to end it and initiate. Of course that usually leads to the same result: starfish sex.

My attitude now is just bend her over and think of it as exercise/release.

We're all here because they are not attracted to us anymore and we still have needs while we improve...

[–]stew70000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Lifting changes everything.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

It does and it doesn't in my opinion.

Yeah it makes you "more attractive" and gets testosterone going etc etc

But at the end of the day if she's just a sexless cunt then she's a sexless cunt

[–]stew70000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How long have you been a nice guy? Just like shedding pounds, you've got nice guy pounds to shed and she may remain sexless until she knows it's for real. Lifting does more than testosterone/attraction. I'd recommend doing it early in the morning. Start off doing something hard, that takes time to see results. You'll apply the same principles to the other areas of your life. Are you lifting now?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A decade of nice guy and nothing but pain to show for it

[–]drty_prRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What exactly are you looking for out of this post?

Yesterday will never be back and tomorrow isn't promised either. Today is where it's at. People who get stuck in the past never think about how to fix the present. People who look forward to the future forget to live in the present. Stop fuckin thinking so much and just start doing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What if I told you there's a middle ground between rambo and being afraid of how your wife would react where you see your wife laying there and you have the urge to throw your wife over you shoulder, carry her upstairs, throw her on the bed, rip her clothes off, and fuck her so hard she walks funny tomorrow and you say:

"God! I want to throw you over my shoulder, carry you upstairs, throw you on the bed, rip your clothes off, and fuck you so hard you walk funny tomorrow!"

Then you get in your gym clothes, fuck off to the gym and lift heavy.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Covert contracts. Scheduled sex. Butthurt. This is a top ten post of all time on how not to do it. You need to restart your map completely. From the top.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks u/BluepillProfessor. Help me understand... Where's the covert contract, and how did I get butt hurt?

Scheduled sex, certainly. A top ten in how not to do it, absolutely. No argument at all.

It's funny... Several of those thoughts telling me not to go down and throw her over my shoulder came from reading your book and some of your comments to previous posts. I didn't want to scale up too fast (the thought was "dimmer switch, not light switch") etc. Total side comment...

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you seriously not see the covert contract? Scheduled sex day and you didn't have sex. That was a secret (i.e. "covert") contract you made with yourself. The post was clearly butthurt and I just bet the wife saw right through it.

I have been on a tear for literally years trying to get guys to slow down because the most common way guys fuck it up is to go to fast. This may be the first example I have seen where perhaps you are going to slow. If you wanted to throw her on your shoulder and bang her then you should have- except she was already asleep and I think that is the wrong move (certainly with my wife) to wake her up abruptly for sex.

I would bring the covert into the overt. A conversation the next day telling her how you almost woke her up and threw her over your shoulder but she looked so cute sleeping might work just fine- especially if you do it later that night.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll have to go back and read up on covert contracts. No, I literally don't see the covert contract. But I'm gonna go carry the wife upstairs and fuck her silly now, so it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm one of those guys you called Rambo and told to slow down. Glad I listened and did that, but apparently I took it too far.

Just back from literally throwing the wife over my shoulder, carrying her upstairs, throwing her on the bed, and fucking her silly. Damndest thing... She whined and complained the whole way up the stairs and when I started taking her clothes off. I went down on her and she waited about 30 seconds to tell me she wanted to have sex and have an orgasm, like now! I stood up and gave her a look, and she reached between her legs, ass hanging off the side of the bed like normal, grabbed my dick, put it in her pussy, and spent probably a minute holding onto my dick and pulling it in and out (never before!). I said "you really want it, don't you.." She gave me a mean dirty look, and I didn't care. When she let go of my dick I fucked her for all I was worth. Her eyes flew open and stayed open the whole time. She's normally pretty vocal but she made noises tonight I've never heard her make before. She came really hard with legs shaking and back arching. Afterwards she had a look of astonishment on her face as she said: "Wow, that was intense! I don't remember the last time it was like that. I couldn't even close my eyes. How was it for you?" I smiled and said "it was great. You're welcome baby."

I don't know if it was that I just didn't respond to her shit complaining and dominated her, or if it was the intensity I brought to fucking her tonight. Maybe both. It was good to see her look at me like she did. It felt good to fuck her the way I did. We'll see what tomorrow brings. ;)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Been thinking a lot about it huh?

Good post Guy



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