TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

Leading my wife to diet

Reddit View
January 19, 2017

Just wondering how some of you would address an issue I'm having with leading my wife to lose some weight. A little about me; former powerlifter, always been in good shape but after an injury that ended my involvement in the sport I gained a decent amount of weight, started moping, turned into a bitch a bit. Got my shit back together about 6 months ago, have been cutting fat and started lifting again (more geared towards general fitness than pure strength so doc says OK) and there has been a noticeable difference in my relationship with the wife, as she's starting to have her man back again. During the downtime when I let myself blob out, she kinda did the same thing and gained some weight herself. Now that I'm owning my shit and leading again she's also back to exercising, zumba classes etc.

The problem is with her eating habits. As someone who's been a gym rat most of my life I know that CICO (calories in - calories out) is the most important thing when it comes to dropping the weight. My wife on the other hand is one of these women who gets sucked into bullshit fads, magic weight loss pills, doctor Oz horseshit and whatnot. So she'll go for an hour long run, come home and immediately smash a bunch of chips or something, and then take some thermogenics pill/powder and think she's on the right track. Leading through action has worked in terms of getting her active, but doesn't seem to be sinking in when it comes to this. I've tried broaching the subject with her a couple times, and it gets met with a defensive attitude...I feel like trying to educate her directly is having the opposite effect that it should. I'm concerned that after some time has passed and she's made no progress on the scale she might get frustrated and give up.

How do you guys think this would be best handled? Should I just stay the course and hope she learns through experience (and failure) that there is no magic bullet for weight loss? Is there something more I can be doing to lead her in the right direction?

Post Information
Title Leading my wife to diet
Author mrpthrowaway2268
Upvotes 8
Comments 15
Date 19 January 2017 05:15 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Quit trying to fix her shit. She's fat. She takes magic weight loss pills. She, she, she.

How about you go out and be awesome. Be this great guy who leads his shit and gets his shit done. Then, when you are sitting on top of the mountain, she will either come to you, and ask "Lead me..." or she won't. Then you have a choice, do I find a woman of higher value, or do I accept her for what she is? It sounds like she's the only one who's being truthful about all this.

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup in a nutshell just lead and she will either follow or not. Then you decide where to go.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now this might show nothing except how much I and the PT both suck, I'll tell you a story.

So I have told my wife to stay out of my power rack until she will learn good form. She had been resistant. So they are doing a demonstration at our gym of a new crossfit like service. The trainer pulls her aside and tells her she's not doing anything but squats with a really light bar until she learns better form on the other lifts. She talks with trainer, says it's really annoying that the trainer is telling her everything that her husband (me) has been telling her. Trainer laughs and says his girlfriend doesn't listen to him either.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd like to see your photo without a shirt, then I'll give you my advice. Can you post it?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is u/mrpthrowaway2268 your sockpuppet?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ha !

"How do you guys think this would be best handled? Should I just stay the course and hope she learns through experience (and failure) that there is no magic bullet for weight loss? Is there something more I can be doing to lead her in the right direction?"

Just absolutely blows me away, that the OP ask this question and perhaps the answer is ------------------------------>>>>>>

[–]atlhartRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see two strategies:

  1. Lift. STFU. Read. Keep doing what you are doing. I do think that as your SMV continues to increase, she will get serious about this. After my wife had our second child, she didn't lose weight. She complained about it. With the first child, she was younger, didn't gain as much weight, and also got out of the house more. With the second child, her normal habits just weren't cutting it to lose the weight. I mean, I knew what was up. She was eating too much. Anyway, I'd had success losing weight using the LoseIt! App to track CICO. I suggested it. She said she didn't need that. I said, fine, and went on with my business. About a month later she downloaded the app, tracked her CICO, and start dropping pounds instantly.

  2. Personally, I buy nearly all the groceries and do a most of the cooking in the house. I control what the family eats. If there's junk around the house, my wife/kids eat it. Sometimes that's ok, most of the time it's not. But I keep stuff around to satisfy. Wife likes snacking on salty snacks, so I keep popcorn around instead of potato chips. Kids like sweets, so their snack drawer has freeze dried fruit instead of fruit roll ups. Some people might consider me doing the grocery shopping and cooking to be Beta, but fuck them. I eat what I want. My family eats what I want them to. If they're eating junk, it's my fault. Therefore, I own it.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Almost 365 days here. Read, read, read and lift.

Concentrate on you......A good step is to throw all the shit out and prep quick snacks like hard boiled eggs, fresh veggies and other low caloric shit

If you must comment, especially with a donuts in her hand, ask if she would like a glass of riesling to go with it. Use timing and laughter to get your point across

.. My story doesn't truly matter, but follow the advice, work on you

My wife is @ weight watchers and on hormone replacement therapy, growing her hair out and working her ass off to get rid of the 35#'s from menopause.

Trust us, work on you and shit changes fast It boils down to you being valuable and she will do what it takes to keep you Have you visited this ?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen-5 points-4 points  (6 children) | Copy

CICO is wrong. People get fat because of insulin.

Youtube Gary Taubes, Peter Attia, Dr Stephen Phinney, Butter Bob Briggs, FitterU and Jason Wittrock.

My wife squirms watching Jason Wittrock videos. Might motivate your wife ? is your friend !

[–]atlhartRed Beret7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Maybe there's a percentage of the population where CICO doesn't work....I seriously doubt that, but I'm willing to at least allow it for the point of discussion.

And there may be better ways to hack/fine tune the body.

But for most of the population, CICO is THE way to lose weight. There may be more you can do, but no one got fat from eating less calories than they burned everyday.

[–]bangorlol2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My mother is severely overweight to the point it's causing heart issues. Told my sister to switch her to a lower calorie diet and she's lost 13lbs in a week and a half. It takes work to be fat and maintain it. CICO is a real thing for pretty much anyone that doesn't have a real hormonal issue (polycystic ovary syndrome etc).

[–]ImSteveMcQueen-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not going to argue with you. I suggest you watch videos with the presenters I provided above. It is an opportunity to learn.

[–]freshona0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So how was christmas?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OK. My MAP continues.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter