I have been RP aware for several years. I read MMSL in 2012. I lazy assed red pill for 4 years ...ebbing and flowing. Reading way too much and acting way too little. I redoubled my efforts about 4 months ago. I quit Athols board because I sensed I was getting terrible advice from the ever increasing female brigade over there. I found AskMRP in July.
I made three commitments to myself; Fitness, reading sidebar, and financial progress have been (and still are) my main focus.
I am nowhere near where I need to be on fitness. I started out fat. I am short (same height as wife). I am now less fat but weight loss stalled between thanksgiving and New Years. Mind you I am as thin as I've ever been since being married. But still sitting at 27-28 bodyfat%. Diet is on point now, I've dropped 5 pounds since New Years. I do stronglifts. (Grade C+ and rising)
Financially I am still digging out of the hole of a failed business. Probably still 20k behind the 8 ball there but making steady gains. Found a new job and it's a good fit. (Grade C and rising). Tough to get ahead when you are paying out so much interest. That will be done by the end of the year.
sidebar I've read: NMMNG, Book of Pook, SGM, MMSL, mindful attraction plan, currently reading WISNIFG.
I've really only been mapping my initiations and sex for 3 months. I can say unequivocally that my success rate has fallen to all time lows. I consider myself to be in monk mode at this point. I initiate almost as an experiment, assuming failure most times. I look at it like lifting, I want to attempt just to be better able to deal with the failure. I know that's fucked up but I'm being honest here. I know when I'm going to fail but I make her say no.
Anyway, the point of this post is dealing with the petulant, shit testy "no I don't want to have sex with you." It isn't any kind of soft let down. It's more of a "fuck you pig, I can't believe you just asked me to have sex."
I am a pig, I get it. But how do I deal with it in the moment. It's disrespectful but I'm confused on whether to address the disrespect, literally STFU, move on with my day gleefully, or other.
When faced with this yesterday (and the day before) I simply moved on. Wife works swing shift and kids were at friends, house was wide open. She was throwing up the defenses but I wanted to initiate sex so I did. She sarcastically responds "yeah I want it fuck baby..." So I said "cool" let's do it "she then deadpans "no I don't want to have sex with you." In those words...the "with you" part hung in the air like a toxic black cloud. After a few seconds I just said "yeah that's what I figured." I didn't say this in a mean way...more of a disappointed puppy way. But it was honest. I was disappointed.
How could I have better responded? Should I just not initiate when I know it's a no go. (pick a reason ...kids are home, I'm tired, I worked last night, I worked today, you didn't do dishes, you aren't nice to me anymore, I don't feel well)
Sex happens on her timeline or not at all. It's her way or not at all. We doing it the same way 90% of the time. Or we don't do it at all. She will start fights during sex instead of changing positions. I am 20 years married. I am this close to calmly pulling the eject ripcord. She has no clue I've got it in me to do so. She is fully confident in her mastery over me. I'm not even mad at her. I'm just tired of fighting her for every inch.
Swing away gents.