Hey fellas. Been lurking for awhile. I was textbook nice guy for 9 years of marriage and it just sucked. Couple of young kids. I've done a 180 in past 2 months, set off by NMMNG and this thread. Biggest change is just the mindset I now have. It's changed everything. I can't believe I lived the way I did. I now hit the gym early (5:45am) 6 days a week, I've got my house in order (manically cleaned and organized everything over a few days and now expect everyone in the fam to keep it that way - I lead by example), I own a small business and have been more disciplined with my hours and spend a lot more time away from home, I STFU most of the time (which has greatly perplexed my wife since I used to talk at her constantly), I have quit whining, complaining, and including my wife in discussions about my own life (another perplexing thing for her). My wife, who was totally wearing the pants the last 10 years, is totally shocked by this. I can tell she has a lot more respect for me, but I also sense that she sees my transformation as a threat. After all, she's been forced to lead the past 10 years and now I'm taking the wheel back. She's been saying things like, "I guess since you're a 'man' now, you can be an asshole?" and "you treat me like crap every day" and "we are co-captains, you don't know everything!" She's also been extra protective of the thing she knows I want: sex. We have scheduled sex once per week, which I've toyed with ending, but for now it's a guarantee to try out being more masculine in the bedroom and taking the lead. It's mostly starfish, and I'm close to saying "this isn't working for me anymore" since I know she is hanging onto the one thing she can control and using it to try and make me break frame. She's succeeded a couple times, but lately I've just STFU or grabbed a book and started reading (another thing I gave up was the insane amount of time I spent staring at my phone).
Here's one recent example of an interaction that I'd love advice on.
Her: can we go do this thing I want to do this morning?
Me: Weren't you going to yoga at that time?
Her: No. I don't want to go.
Me: Well I can think of another way we can get a workout in.
Her: Keep doing that. It's working really well for you (sarcastically - since she's resisted really any sexual advances I've made other than scheduled once per week days)
Hope the background helps and would appreciate any and all advice as I continue on this journey.