So I am a newbie, and I am Beta AF, so I am going to tell you guys about what happened today. Yes, I know I am not being respected. Yes, I know I am not attractive enough. Yes, I know Red Pill theory is not to solve specific issues, but it's a philosophy that must be internalized until it becomes spontaneous. I know it. Still, I am going to follow the instructions at the bar to the right and, yes, rant (see section C of the "Introduction to AskMRP").
So this happens today. My wife prepares some sandwiches of X flavor (doesn't matter, really).
I start eating them. They're good.
Nonetheless, I'm a ketchup junkie, so I tell her I'll put some ketchup to my sandwich. Ketchup is in the fridge.
Her stupid ST starts:
Her: "No, you're not putting ketchup to your sandwich. It has a great flavor. Are you telling me you don't like it?"
Me: (stupid DEER, I know): "I am not saying that. It's really good. I just like ketchup."
Her: "You want to put ketchup because you don't like the flavor, right? To mask it."
Me: I like it, I told you. I just want to put some ketchup on it.
Her: The food I gave you has enough proteins (or whatever). You should not put ketchup on it.
Me: I am going to. Are you going to stop me from it?
Her: You don't like it. I'm not cooking for you anymore.
Me: I really like the sandwich!
Her: Then don't put ketchup on it!
Me (standing up): I am going to put ketchup on it.
Her (she puts herself IN FRONT OF THE FRIDGE, BLOCKING ME ACCESS TO IT).: I won't let you.
Me: Let me (in front of her).
Her: No! You do like it? Go and eat it! You have eaten too much ketchup (or some lame ass excuse).
Then I go back to my seat and continue eating, STFU.
She continues her stupid tirade against ketchup, but as I don't reply, she comes close to me and says "I love you honey". I don't reply. Then she tells me "But you could put ketchup on the beans."
5 minutes later I am acting as if nothing has happened because my toddler is calling me, other kid is around, she gotta do some things, I have to wash the dishes (yeah), etc.
Just to top things (and I won't bore you anymore), half an hour ago, she put our toddler to sleep. She's by her side, I know. I messaged her that I was waiting for her in our room (to have sex, obviously). Of course she's not going out, but still, my stupid BP inside me keeps on waiting for "a miracle". She's going to read her Facebook feed until she passes out, and then stay in the room with our kid, so I won't be able to touch her.
I am very aware that I am not attractive enough to her, and that's why she behaves like that (since a long time, by the way). I am also aware of her lack of respect, of my humongous betaness, etc. I am aware of it. Thanks RP for opening my eyes. I finished WISNIFG and I am halfway through NMMNG. It's scary how much that book describes me. I think the very first step is that: awareness. Awareness of how wrong I am, of nature of women, etc. And, yes, after working on my plan, start passing stupid STs, like the one I described.
So, what would have you done in my case, folks?
So this is my life, folks. Anyways, Gotta go, but there's my story for you. I have too many anecdotes. My marriage is sexless AF... But I'll tell you guys later. Will keep on reading the books. God bless you all . Bye!
P. S.: No, I didn't put ketchup on my beans either.