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Tough conversation with my wife coming up. How should I handle it?

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January 6, 2017
11 upvotes

UPDATE: Well, that didn't turn out as planned.

After reading the many, any comments and pieces of advice in this thread, I went into this conversation in a COMPLETELY different frame. This conversation went from a fraught and tense "confrontation" about how I live my life into a conversation with someone who was simply being irrational. Every bit of my stress drained away.

Got home, ate, did our usual routines with the kids, etc. She moped around the house and gave me one-word answers, but I simply ignored it and had fun with the kids. The effect on the whole house was palpable; the kids and I had a blast.

I put the kids down each night (some of the best quality time I get with them), and instead of running downstairs to have this "conversation" I just took a shower, shaved, and got some of my own shit done. When I did get downstairs, I made myself "available" if she wanted to bring it up - read, watched TV, etc - but didn't initiate any conversation at all. I had a great "night alone" while she dicked around on Facebook.

Finally I said I was going to bed and she followed me up. As we turned off the light, I reached out and firmly held her hand. She started crying, and I held her until she calmed down.

And then, we had sex....for the first time in a year and a half.

So. This is obviously not the end - when I started here, all I wanted was to have sex with my wife again. Now, I see it as much more than that...a long road towards reclaiming a side of my personality that's been long repressed.

But this is a major milestone for me, and I couldn't have done it without all the comments, tough love, and support from everyone who bothered to put in their two cents.

So, thanks, everyone. It's much appreciated.

Context: 36, married for 4 years. Two kids, 2.5 years and 10 months. I own my own business, my wife is a SAHM. I work four days a week and handle the kids on Monday. Every morning I get up with the kids, make breakfast, clean them up, change diapers, do as many dishes as possible, etc, before getting out the door for gym/work at 8AM.

I'm a few months into MRP - started lifting (Mondays after the kids are in bed, W/F in the mornings, before work) and going to BJJ classes (Tu/Th evenings. I leave work early, which means I am home at 5:30pm instead of my usual 5pm). Lost about 10 lbs, adding muscle. Generally working on being more assertive (I'm a life-long people pleaser), typical MRP stuff, but trying to take things slow.

My wife and I have not had sex in over a year in half. There is very little affectionate touch, etc. She says this is because she is/was depressed (she went through a tough post-partum period), because of some post-pregnancy physical complications (bothers her in terms of her self-image, but is not painful in any way), because she is exhausted from the kids, etc).

This summer, before I discovered MRP and desperate for any sort of change, I broached the subject with her. She said my initiations made her stressed, and suggested a temporary "Moratorium" on sex. I eagerly agreed, because I was an idiot. The subject has not come up since then, and I have not initiated.

The Issue At Hand: Today I did the morning routine and got the kids up as normal. Did all the dishes, but didn't have time to get to cleaning off the breakfast table, so there's a small amount of oatmeal/etc on there.

At the gym, start getting texts from my wife:

Her: (some complaints about the oatmeal, etc) I feel like since you started gym and jujitsu at home stuff has suffered. We need to reevaluate because now I feel like I'm sacrificing and nut getting my time even more so and you get your stuff.

Not to say you don't deserve your time. It's just not even and I've been trying to get personal time for months to no avail.

Me: Thats fine. I have organized my work and exercise around being home to help with the kids. As I have always said, I will be flexible in the same way to help you get your time in. So let me know what you have planned.

Her: Not to mention we are drifting apart even more so. You've been very focused on yourself.

Me: I have been focusing on myself, more, yes. Does it bother you?

Her: Only if it feels like I'm being left behind. Which it does. You have to rush out the door so the kitchen is left a mess when before you would get it back to normal before leaving.

You are too tired when you come home so you don't help with night clean up as much.

You don't really ask me how I'm doing. Just focus on yourself. I want to be happy for you. I really do, but it's hard given the circumstances and I don't want to be resentful. I'm trying not to. You deserve to have what you want.

Me: Hmm. I would disagree on some of that. But let's have this conversation in person. We'll talk tonight.

Her: So it doesn't bother you that we are drifting apart?

Me: It does. I'd just rather talk about it face to face so we can actually connect.

I will point out her complaints about not cleaning up are patently untrue; I literally clean up the entire downstairs every night after the kids are in bed. But that's neither here nor there.

Any thoughts on how I should handle this/what I'm walking into? Is this a fitness test (trying to bring my SMV, which has always been lower than hers, down again)? Or is it a comfort test ("I see you doing all this stuff and I'm getting nervous")?

Any advice is appreciated.


Post Information
Title Tough conversation with my wife coming up. How should I handle it?
Author resolutions316
Upvotes 11
Comments 96
Date 06 January 2017 03:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206682
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5me8fc/tough_conversation_with_my_wife_coming_up_how/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (31 children) | Copy

Two kids, 2.5 years and 10 months.

my wife is a SAHM.

Every morning I get up with the kids, make breakfast, clean them up, change diapers, do as many dishes as possible, etc

Baloney. If she's a SAHM, this is her job. Two kids is a piece of cake.

[–]dandar46004 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Two kids is a piece of cake.

A year ago I would have agreed with you. My daughter was a piece of cake. My son though is a whole another matter. He alone is a handful, never mind a terrible twos kid with him.

Also for /u/resolutions316 I would look more closely at those text messages. Yes, some of it is You which is a shit test, but there is a lot of "I" in there which signifies a mix of shit and comfort tests. I wouldn't approach it as just a pure shit test.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've raised five through that age. My sample size is large enough to speak in generalities, and I've had a couple of kids that were "handfuls" as you put it. Still, unless you have a special needs kid, or have failed to discipline them, two is a piece of cake.

There are whole categories of products designed to make it easier to manage a baby. Bouncy seats, baby gates, jumpers, walkers, and exer-saucers. And they take naps!

Toddlers are easily enough managed with a mix of TV, toys, books, crayons, etc.

I will say that sometimes my wife needed me to watch the kids (at toddler age) while she cleaned the bathroom, because she was worried about them getting into the cleaner or the toilet or whatever. So that was like once a week for maybe an hour, and usually I'd sit in the hallway and watch the kids and chat with my wife as she cleaned.

Two adults and two little kids - it takes maybe ten minutes to vacuum a room, maybe 30-60 minutes to deal with a day's worth of laundry, ten minutes to load/unload the dishwasher, ten minutes to dust a room, twenty minutes to clean up the kids' toys, an hour for all meal prep and cleanup.

With only 2 kids to worry about, there's plenty of time for a competent and diligent woman to keep on top of the housework, cook for her family, read books to her kids, sing songs, take them out, and generally be an amazing mom.

So unless she has some outside commitments (school, work, volunteering, etc.) or unusual circumstances (health issues, special needs kids, family members that need lots of help, or perhaps OP lives on a farm and his wife has to milk goats and such) - there's absolutely no excuse here.

I understand sleeping in. She may still be nursing through the night, or perhaps she's a night owl and likes to get up a bit later (like I do). But it seems to me that something's seriously awry.

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I take your point. I think she feels vulnerable, and that's expressing as shit testing to regain power.

Our second son is very needy and clingy with her, and I feel empathy for her difficulty with him. That said, I realized a few months ago that, were our positions switched, I wouldn't have as many issues as she does.

[–]trp_dude8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife is a SAHM. Why are YOU doing the breakfast? My wife, even when things were at their worst, did all the cooking and most of the cleaning.

You are doing too much.

Let me give you some straight talk:

You are doing way too much of her work. Therefore, she sees you as a low value man because a high value man would not be bending over backwards for a low value woman like her.

You will never get high quality sex if you keep on being the wife in the relationship.

That's right. Some men don't get sex because they assume the child role in the relationship and women don't want to fuck children.

In a few cases, men don't get sex because they assume the wife role in the relationship. Women don't want to fuck other women.

The text scroll would make a lot more sense if you were the woman and your wife was the man berating his bitch for slacking on the housework.

STOP.

Stop DEERing. Stop answering her texts. Stop doing your wife's job. Stop being the wife.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly right - she's vulnerable and is shit testing to regain power. That means what you're doing is working. So keep your foot on the gas. The shit tests will get more intense for a while, but eventually she'll realize it's not working and will try a different strategy - like showing you some affection.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It happens. One of my kids took more effort, resources and time than 2 kids would take.

[–]resolutions316[S] 2 points3 points  (22 children) | Copy

I agree. Somehow, I still feel tremendous guilt about it, though. I am working on overcoming that, and appreciate you pointing it out.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Read: when I say no I feel guilty (sidebar).

My wife did the same stuff to me and I fell for the guilt thing for a decade of her being a SAHM.

Do you have a friend who is red pill that you can spend time with? A mentor? That's what snapped me out of it.

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Got it. Read once already, but definitely need work internalizing it. Will read again.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have read it 3 times. As long as you are responsible for her feelings, you lose, and she loses too. I'ma still working on this, too.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

Try thinking of it this way: she WANTS a leader. You are doing, not leading.

Tell her that the at-home stuff is HER job while your job is YOUR job.

She also WANTS to be fucked and you aren't doing it. A year and a half and you are still feeling guilty about not doing dishes? I stopped feeling guilty about shit when I didn't have sex with my wife for a month... and that feeling stuck.

You need to escalate escalate escalate. When you get LMR, push through. If you get a hard no, you turn and walk. After a year and a half you BETTER have something you can do at any given moment.

I believe that once you fuck your wife she will soften up and everything will be easier for everyone.

Don't make love to her, fuck her like a fucking caveman; it's been 1.5 years, there must be something stored up in there.

[–]resolutions316[S] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

I very much want to go this route, but I've only been consciously working on MRP stuff for a few months. My assumption was that any initiations would be coming from a place of long-established low-value, and I needed to bring that up before going caveman.

Do you agree, or no?

[–]BrazilRedPill3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

No. Kino her, and when sex start, go nice, smooth and slow. After 2 minutes, go caveman, hard and fast. Just try. You can't know if she will like it until you try. And a lot (if not all) girls like to take it hard. Go hard once, for scientific purposes. You will be amazed to see that she might actually like it a lot.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

I'd love to, but I think we're very, very far away from me initiating. We haven't even passionately kissed in months.

[–]BrazilRedPill3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's your job to initiate. Learn kino and try it. You should always initiate when you feel like fucking. You must also work on seduction. You kiss her on the cheek every time, and slap her ass every time is possible.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is definitely #1 on my study list.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Learn kino and try it.

Got any video suggestions for him to watch?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Then that is where you start. She thinks you are drifting apart. Tell her you read about a way to restore a relationship and all it takes is 10 seconds a day. Then tell her you have to kiss for 10 seconds every day. Do it. Then walk away smiling and do something awesome. Do it every day.

[–]BrazilRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome approach, yes, do this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then start with kissing...... Start somewhere. The sooner you start.....

[–]All_Ads_Deceive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop being a pussy. No wonder she doesn't want to fuck you. Initiate tonight. You're scared to make a move on your wife like you're a middle school boy with his crush. Also in the morning be a leader and have her cook breakfast. Stop hamstering, keep learning but you need to stop being a beta bitch NOW

[–]Chinchilla_the_Hun1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Passionate kissing would be an easy place to start. MMSLP is where you find advice on 10-second kissing. Try once or twice a day for at least a week - with no expectation of sex - and see her defenses start to come down.

[–]iloveairplane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've fucked my wife without kissing.

[–]Griever1145 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

She is a STAHM... she needs to get off her fucking lazy ass and do something around the house since you earn the money. She is self conscious since she is a lazy ass and isnt getting herself in check while you lose weight.

Now what are YOU going to do about it? What have you read? To answer your question, she sees you are changing and is freaking the fuck out.

This is all bullshit shit tests and compliance tests to keep her beta bitch in check.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I think the insight that my pulling away has caused a sudden self-consciousness is right on.

[–]Griever1144 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

And what about everything else i said? Have you done the readings? What would someone who is owning his shit, in his frame, etc be doing?

One of the biggest things I learned here is stop and think. You could have avoided ALL of this drama by not responding to her needy texts. You are supposed to be a busy man, no time to be nagged. Every time i think about posting here, i know i would get my fucked ass reemed out, and for good reason, BE the man you want to be. BE the man your wife needs.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, I totally agreed with the rest, as well. I've read through most of the sidebar, just think I need more work on internalizing it. You are very right - I was reactive to her, rather than proactive on my own thing.

I posted because I knew I would receive valuable feedback and get pulled out of my own head. These comments definitely help.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

As far as tonight, I would NOT bring it up. And if she does, I would try to ignore her.

But if it's unavoidable, I would take this approach:

Her: "You left the oatmeal out!"

You: <silence>

Her: "You're supposed to clean up!"

You: "Had to get to the gym. I'm kind of tired after working all day; I'm going to go take a shower. Turn on a show for the kids and come join me." And then walk away.

No apologies. You're not doing anything wrong.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

THANK YOU!

The fuck is wrong with this guy doing all her work for her and mofo is responding to her anger of fucking OAT-FUCKING-MEAL on the table???!

Shiiiiiiiiiiite

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just read through all of your kind, thoughtful, cheerful responses to comments on this thread. And you are right, you really are a people pleaser. That can be a great skill if you control it, but it's out of control. You should set a goal of deliberately pissing people off for a while, just to stretch your muscles a bit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like a comfort test. Maybe she feels like she lacks purpose when all she does all day is deal with little shit monsters. Encourage her to find time for her hobbies. The answer is not to back off on your personal growth. You spend maybe 5 hours/week working out? IMO that's the bare minimum a man needs to be physically at baseline.

Now, about the sex moratorium. I'm generally a fan for short periods of time so a man can take stock of his life and rewire his neural pathways. Keyword is short. A month at most. Yours has been 6 months? You're basically a eunuch at this point. The 10 month old should be coming off the teat. Prolactin should be decreasing. It's time to start gaming your wife. Kino, escalate, DEVI, etc. I don't care if she's depressed or self image or what. Fuck her into your masculine embrace. Make her feel like a woman.

Do not stop working out. Do not let your business slack. Do not compromise your life for a woman who is for all intents and purposes a babysitter at this point. No sex=no marriage

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I completely agree. I have been focusing entirely on myself before getting into any "game"-type stuff, just because I felt I had let my SMV drift too low. I'm going to start studying more on that topic.

As for hobbies/babies/breast feeding, I also agree. It's a total drag, but my tendency in the past has been to try and solve all her problems for her, including her depression, lack of interests, etc. I feel like that backfires almost all of the time.

[–]plein_old3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hmm. I would disagree on some of that.

Boring! Don't argue with your wife. Don't be a people pleaser. Just do what's appropriate, and have a good attitude about it. Talk less.

There is very little affectionate touch, etc.

You're not entitled to anything. Entitled people are passive & resentful, and they make other people uncomfortable.

If you were attractive to her, she would be more into you. It's as simple as that. You can't change her, you can only change you.

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Point taken. I completely agree, and am working on killing the resentment. That's definitely an issue I've carried with me.

[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

In your replies you say you read several books on the sidebar but haven't internalized: you need to begin and actively implementing. Read, practice, experiment, implement. Your brain is not some fancy black box that reads something clever and begins doing it, you have to actively and consciously behave and think differently.

If you had implemented what you read about frame, you would be doing what your vision tells you yoi should be doing and you'd be comfortable with that even in the face of criticism.

You would also know that you don't have to talk. You're not required to explain anything, and you shouldn't.

You'd know that her words don't matter, she's not saying them to convey information. Her words are only relevant as hooks for clever replies because she's shit testing you. She's trying to get you into her frame and/or riled up. And she's getting to you.

Own your shit. Respond to shit tests with STFU, AM and A&A. Hug her when she trows a comfort test at you. That's it. Stop worrying about how to handle discussions, it you're getting dragged into those you're doing it wrong.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Got it. And I totally agree with what you've said about implementation.

I think a weak spot with me is the whole idea of "STFU" - in some contexts, like arguments, I get it. In others, like here, I'm not clear on how to implement it. If she sends me a message directly expecting a reply, isn't not replying being passive aggressive? Maybe it's a simply a matter of the frame underlying the action.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's asking something reasonable like logistics, then sure, answer. But vague complaints and shit tests, that's a different matter.

With this, lead your family. Tell her you'll take the kids on tuesday nights so she can go work out or whatever. She'll keep complaining and you don't have to make her accept your offer. You've already made your decision, you've solved the problem, and you've moved on. AM and A&A her attempts to make it about something else (like how you're distand and cold).

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This was incredibly useful to read, and really helped me put all this in context. Thank you!

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

isn't not replying being passive aggressive

It's one thing to say "hey baby let's talk about it tonight" or just not replying immediately...

it's another thing to say "Are you upset with me? Are you okay? Do you still love me?" lol. or whatever, which communicates a problematic attitude. It tells her that you're unstable.

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it. Makes a lot more sense to me now...

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife and I have not had sex in over a year in half. There is very little affectionate touch

Somebody should write a book about restoring a low or even no sex marriage using a 12 step plan or something. Whoever writes it should take great pains to outline an end plan where you are fucking like rabbits- either your wife or somebody better- within about a year and outline how you can move from step to step to maximize the chance that the rabbit you end up fucking is your current wife.

Not to mention we are drifting apart even more so. You've been very focused on yourself.

Fucking A Gratz!!!!!!! This marriage can be saved after all. You finally got her attention. Now what are you going to do with it?

it feels like I'm being left behind.

So who exactly is denying "affection." I would take my wife in my arms, smile at her, kiss her, escalate, and then fuck the ever living shit out of her. She will throw off LMR. Just ignore and tell her YOU want to do this. Suggest you feeeel that the two of you are drifting apart. Read up on LRM first but I think you have this in the bag. Don't get butthurt if it doesn't work. Lead her to a better place. As awful as your story might be, I think you have got this.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

haha - I am actually about 3/4 through your book. :-)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

What have you read. Because it seems like you'd understand this interaction much better after NMMNG, MMSLP, WISNIFG, and The Rational Male.

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've read all of these - I have my theories on how to approach it, but getting outside feedback is super useful to me in cases like this. My intellectual understanding outstrips my internalization for sure.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Internalization is the hardest thing imho

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. In everything - BJJ, sales - getting things into the muscle memory. Just takes time and practice, at least for me.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is so sad and so pathetic.

baby steps though i guess.

stop working so hard to please her and work a helluva lot harder to please yourself independent of her (this will be hard for you)

[–]BobbyPeru4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

1 texting is for logistics only - you should have ghosted her text completely and then talk to her in person.

2. You're DEERing all over the place on your texts

edit. Didn't know that was going to turn out bold

Based on how you handle this, I'm thinking that you have a lot of sidebar reading to do.

But, there is something positive. The oatmeal incident was basically dread. Time to put your foot on the gas pedal, and work out even harder. It may be a little bit of a comfort test to, so you might need to address that. But, I'm thinking you are probably not up on your readings, so that might be too overwhelming for you.

read

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it. I'm actually almost entirely through the sidebar - I'm a very fast read - but it's internalizing everything that I most need to work on. I take your point. Time to read everything 2-3x over.

[–]Mecha751 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Texting is for logistics only? Fuck that PUA shit when you are married. The reason in PUA its for logistics only is so you can game plates (potential or established) in person. Whereas when you are married, texting can and should be used to game your wife. To keep her thinking about you sexually.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

you should expand on this, I'd like some examples you use

[–]Mecha750 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Its based on what she says typically. I have an extremely quick wit and it flows naturally. Last night went to get a coffee and they had some new trainees there. She told me to taste (the coffee) before i pull out (of the parking lot).

Her: taste before pulling out

Me: ill decide if i am going to pull out or not

Her: you dont have to pull out with me (wink emoji)

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

For OP's benefit, logistics only until he can become more attractive.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That example was pure logistics. He was just setting up the lay. LOL.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well there you go Haha

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It is amazing to me, that you bent over backwards soooo far, and yet you did not break. Your little princess will continue to push, and it appears that you will continue to bend backwards, until you finally break, or she gets so disgusted with you, that she leaves.

All of the advice the others have given you here, has value. You need to take some of it.

OP, you are a Total Pushover Prince. The sooner you get past your nice guy bullshit, the better chance you have of saving yourself, and maybe even your marriage. Best

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I laughed out loud at Pushover Prince. 100% true.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good on you that still have a sense of humor about it. Makes the changes easier for you, if you can keep your anger at bay.

[–]blarggggggggggg1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I will point out her complaints about not cleaning up are patently untrue; I literally clean up the entire downstairs every night after the kids are in bed.

Just don't - women don't give a fuck about logical argument of facts when they are trying to manipulate you into being their manservant.

[–]resolutions316[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is so hard to get over, since I'm extremely rational in the rest of my life. But you're absolutely right.

[–]BrazilRedPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Add this to your rational list: women are not rational, they are emotional; because of that, you don't talk, you do things. You don't argue with her, because if she wins you lose, if you win your relationship loses. Lead through actions, and not through words.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

MUCH more effective to roll your eyes slightly and say "K" with a laughing smirk. Her case is laughable and does not deserve a logical argument. SHOW her the truth of that statement by not giving it any credibility.

If your 2 y/o told you about seeing the tooth fairy it would be adorable but still childish. You wouldn't logically explain to her why she could not have seen the tooth fairy. Your wife telling you to clean up when YOU work and YOU take care of the kids in the morning is like that. It is a childish little girl making childish arguments. Your best move is to make fun of her like the little girl she is. Sure she will get pissed and lose her shit. That should make it even more amusing- and eventually even adorable.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You do a lot of cleaning and child care for someone with a SAHM wife.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

responds to her text

You're fucking stupid

Wtf did you even respond to any of that shit?!

DREAD GAME IS WORKING, mofo! Understand?

Also - she a SAHM - that means it's HER FUCKING JOB TO CLEAN TH HOUSE. You must be shitting me if you think you're gonna keep up what you're doing and get better aannd she's not gonna pick up more slack??

FFS she's got you as a personal server and the dread is starting to worry her.

Maintain course. Keep turning the screw. And please don't respond to the obvious shit tests like that.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congrats on ending your year and a half dry spell! Now don't get complacent, keep reading, lift weights and continue to improve yourself. Read the link below, it will help you to avoid going Rambo in your situation. It will be especially helpful for determining how to best transition away from doing the household chores (which are HER job as a SAHM).

Changing the rules over time

[–]resolutions316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the link. Saved. Definitely that's the next big transition for me.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great update. You should post it as a separate update so other people see it. Otherwise it's going to be buried.



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