I come to admit a failure. In hopes I don't lose my positive attitude, and find some resolve to move forward.
Wife gave me a hard-no for the third straight night and who knows how many times in the last month and a half straight. I had been owning my shit and she'd been into me last several days (I thinkits right time of month). She strung me on all night with the tease of sex and shut it down at the end of the night. I know, I know, Im not attractive enough. Period. But all the constant denial wears on a man.
I got openly frustrated. She knew it. I told her she manipulated me, which was weak. I had her phone because I was looking up something and tossed it on the bed. It slid off the end. After my shower she couldn't find it and I told her its behind the bed. She then acted like a teenager (of course) and called me names, etc. and she made a point of showing me she locks me out of our bedroom. She's done this before and I just knock on the door incessantly or sleep on the couch like a pussy. This time I kicked the door open with three kicks, in a semi-rage, and said "do not ever lock me out of my room. If you dont want to see me, go sleep somewhere else". She cowered in fear and called me a psychopath, of course. Now I'm sitting on the couch realizing about 15 minutes may have unravelled weeks of positive work with her.
I'm reminded I'm doing this for me, and I've never felt better. I believe in that. But failing to maintain frame is disheartening.
I know the sidebar, but can the crew point me back in the right direction.