TL;DR - Thought I finally accomplished frame, wife had emotional affair and now I'm re-starting at square one.
This isn't really a question. I'm just a newb poster and thought it would be better here than MRP.
Married for 10 years, two kids under 9 yrs old.
We both had deep issues when we met. First 9 years of marriage were hell. I faced my childhood demons a little over a year ago. Made some guy friends and found MRP. Started MAP and life quickly turned around.
I've had suicidal thoughts everyday since I was seven. (The "childhood demons" were the kind that really fuck up a kid.) I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I fantasized about blowing my brains out. I had guy friends, I was looking good and lifting, my wife and I were having fun, having sex, enjoying our kids and our life. I saw shit test as fore play and she never seemed happier. I thought I was an oak. I thought I was fucking aces. I thought I had found happiness.
Then I found some clues that she was in communication with an old boyfriend. Turns out she was having an all out emotional affair for the last 3 months. Talking to the guy on the phone every day, still sweaty from sex with me. (He lives in Germany and I've read many of the text. 99% sure they didn't fuck)
She asked to have one last private conversation with him to say goodbye to "close this chapter of her life." I saw an attorney, got papers and told her she had to make a choice, she closed that chapter when she married me. She wrote a text telling him not to contact her again and showed it to me before she sent.
Now I'm back to square one. I'm doing pretty good at focusing on me, but this betrayal hurts and makes it hard to maintain frame. My butthurt is off the charts, and it seeps out occasionally.
I'm thankful for this though. I would have just kept bouncing along thinking I was strong. It's kind of like I've been doing squats with shitty form and now I'm going ass to grass for the first time. I'm deloading all the weight and sore as shit.
I know, I know... "I would have nexted her and you didn't because you don't have any balls... and I can deadlift more than you." Whatever.
I guess the point is, don't count your chickens... They can wink at you, hold your arm, kiss your cheek, suck your cock, tell you how proud of you they are, thank you for being an awesome Dad, and then sneak off to answer that text from their old college sweetheart, the one she thinks about when she cranks up the vibrator.
When you finally do start to see some gains, just know, AWALT, hypergamy is a bitch, and you are not a special snowflake. Don't let gains give you one-itis. Don't get drunk on the reaction of others to your changes. Stay vigilant. Lift, read, hang and don't live for her emotions. You are in this alone, and your self respect is the only reward worth pursuing.