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Wife had emotional affair. Should I let her say goodbye to him?

Reddit View
October 22, 2016

Wife and I have been married 10 years. I was pretty alpha before we met and went full on beta bitch after marriage. We have two kids under 9.

I took the pill several months ago and thought I was aces. Lifting, passing shit test, lots of the best sex since before we were married. Complete 180. Thought that I had my balls back.

3 months ago, her x reached out to her and they started an emotional affair. He lives in Germany, and all evidence points toward they haven't seen each other since before I met her. 90% sure they haven't fucked.

I thought I was being pretty alpha. I fuck her in all 3 holes on the regular, don't put up with her shit, and have a SMV that is beginning to surpass hers due to working the hell out of my MAP.

She says that she's attracted to me physically and him emotionally. I told her if she communicates with him without my involvement it will result in immediate divorce.

She wants one last private conversation with him so that she can "close this chapter of her life and have closure, which will enable her to truly focus on our relationship."

I don't trust my own judgement at this point. I've left out less important details to avoid rambling.

  1. Should I allow this private conversation for the purpose of saving my family, will it be a sign of low value?

  2. I know AWALT. Is she doing this as a reaction to my recent changes and she needs a beta bitch to control, or am I still a beta bitch and I just sprinkled alpha on my shit, and he's the true alpha? (He sounds like a pussy in their text. He sends her movies of his cats and always goes on about his feelings for her.) Or is this the ultimate shit test to see if I'll fight to keep and protect my family and not get butt hurt even when my family is on the line?

Please help me with this important decision.

Edit:grammar and added the shit-test option in 2nd question.

Post Information
Title Wife had emotional affair. Should I let her say goodbye to him?
Author RecoveringBlue
Upvotes 15
Comments 86
Date 22 October 2016 01:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
MAPalphabetaAWALTsexual market valueshit testliftclose

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy

Listen up you bluepill fucks, the bluepill party line is not that we emotionally neglect our wives, the party line is we emotionally abuse our wives. If you can't even lampoon us right I think you are falling down on your duties. Sheesh. It's like your not even trying.

Crossposted, voting is probably skewed. They're triggered.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go draw up papers. Put divorce on the table, not as a threat but as reality. You've let the horses out of the barn and now you wonder about a better door? Google the Divorce 180.

You can undo a divorce, so maybe the reality of it will force her out of the NRE of this. Personally, you're shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic.

[–]Swaggy9k14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

LMAO, so you acted like a complete asshole to her instead of making it equal and now she's seeked out emotional connection because you've been too busy being an alpha twat to her. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT WOULD HAPPEN? Ahahaha. Fucking aye, good luck mate.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Project much bro? What is it you think is "being a complete asshole to her"? Fucking her like a man and making her cum more in the last year than she did in the last 9 put together, or getting rid of all the covert contracts and being honest?

I was an asshole before MRP.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Athol Kay says after an affair the only possible move is open social media and no contact except to say bye, I am not leaving my husband and don't try to contact me again. Done. I agree.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you mean close all social media?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

No, it means her social media is completely open to you. Whether yours is open to her is a decision you can make but after an affair there is no trust, only verify.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

No, it means her social media is completely open to you.

Great idea. So instead of using Messenger, she will just buy a burner phone with a prepaid card. But you know what? That's what men do when they cheat, because they have something to loose. That's what I did. She will probably just add lover's no as an additional phone number to her best friend's contact in contacts app.

Man, I respect your work very much, I would not be where I am without you and your priceless support, but sometimes all this stuff gets so naive.

As for now, I believe u/RolloTomassi has got it right, he nailed it with the "Please Break Up With Me" post. And I got it right. You can not control her. "Open social media" is an attempt to control hypergamy. This can not work. Women weren't designed for things like that.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most of human history, about 1/2 of all our laws and jursiprudence history, and the vast majority of our social customs are attempts to control hypergamy. You can do it fairly effectively if you have crucifixions, impalement, and stonings up your sleeve. Today, the only thing you can do is to make it as hard as possible for her to cheat- at least without you finding out.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

make it as hard as possible for her to cheat- at least without you finding out.

I disagree, but as I know your position, your background as this does not actually change 80% of valuable things this sub is advocating, I see no point in discussing this.

I want to be able to paternity-test my child. In my country, I can, without asking kid's mother for permission. So I'm good with that.

If I ever live with woman again, I'm not "committing" in a traditional sense again. If I get her pregnant (and I plan to have 1-2 kids more in the future), I will have a relationship with her for 3-8 years max, not because this is my idea, but because this is how things work, naturally.

TBH, when I date now, I'm more interested in where do the girl gets the money from (I don't want to date an escorts unknowingly). That's the only thing TRP is not covering, and as that 21-something dude wrote, his "wife" was able to hide it for 5 yrs, so it is a big deal for me.

As for cheating, I'd rather assume all women cheat and the chance of cheating is getting bigger and bigger with every day.

They just get bored. Don't you get it.

That's the way nature planned for us. And for some reason we keep fighting that.

I'm not for "open hypergamy", there must be something else, but on the other hand... this whole "control if she doesn't cheat" thing looks like a witch hunt to me.

Some time ago we burnt babies for Moloch. Some time ago we hunt witches. Some time ago we tried to make women not cheat.

They can, they will, they do. There is no way of making them not. There is no point in trying. That's my opinion for now. And believe me, I saw more really good, decent 50-55 yr old women who were strangely attracted to me. Maybe the workplace had something to do with that. I don't condemn them. I bet some of them lived a faithful life, but as the moment of being invisible to men gets closer and closer... they will still want to try that side dick though. Some of them will.

Can I judge them? Of course I can't and I won't.

Self-improvement in all areas, that's what counts. Trying to control a woman you once impregnated in the past... not so much if you ask me. And to be honest, I'm not very good at that :-)

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see. Thank you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

IIRC the boundary is no private social media. No secret accounts, no private messages, etc.

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

1.) The fact that a wife asks for the private conversation in the first place shows that she doesn't respect you enough and if you say yes, she'll value you even less. I think men view an emotional affair as not being as serious as a physical one, but for a woman (me anyway) they are pretty much equal. If my husband pulled this on me, it would be the same for me as if I found out my husband had been fucking another woman for the past three months and his plan to end it would be to fuck her one last time for closure. As your wife, her loyalty and allegiance belongs to you. A simple "this is over, don't contact me again" is all the other guy should get. She should work on closure on her own. By that I mean she needs to figure out why she willingly jeopardized her marriage for this (ridiculous in my mind) dalliance.

2.) I can't claim to know why she did this. From this brief description he doesn't sound like a true alpha, more like a beta orbiter. I mean, I LOVE cats and regularly check them out at /r/aww but yet would be totally turned off by a guy who sent me his cat videos. Texts professing undying love wouldn't do much for me either. If this is the kind of thing your wife likes, comfort tests would have been the way to go, I think.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill[M] -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Rephrase this please. Offer your point of view as a woman, not advice. If not, I'll remove.


No, you shouldn't allow this private conversation and yes, it's a sign of low value.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Its great sex has improved, that's an important sign.

But as far as your progress and her perception of your progress:

... A woman would be scared shitless to start an emotional affair if she thought a high value man would dump her ass.

My guess is you improved physically and became more dominant but you haven't really showed or internalized that a man is always willing to walk away

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will be seeing that very soon. Thanks for the comment.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

"I fuck her in all three holes! You'd think that would be enough for her! What's all this emotional stuff? I'm the alpha!" puffs up chest

He has every right to leave her over the emotional affair, but his attitude and description of his marriage indicates a failure of leadership. He failed to provide an emotional connection. Anal sex is great, but she clearly doesn't feel connected to OP.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

He failed to provide an emotional connection.

OP, Sushi likely nails it here given that you have been hitting all three holes. The majority of affairs started by women start as emotional affairs, and then she "accidentally" falls on his dick. My wife had an emotional affair of several years over a decade ago (see my oldest submission if you want a long read); and I too was hitting that ass on a regular basis. What I was not doing is providing the what the Professor terms " the all important presence". I was not listening to her feelz, I was not their when she needed me, I was utterly failing comfort test. Basically, I was being a selfish asshole. For a woman, this is akin to no pussy for us. She is literally suffocating because you were suppose to replace her daddy and you are failing. If that is the case, you might want to consider all your options. Then again she might just be a low value validation whore, in which case NEXT.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been an emotional beta bitch for 10 years. We had sex once every six weeks and were miserable.

Since I've started following my MAP, we laugh, don't argue and have lots of fun. I actually thought we were having a great relationship for the first time in a decade.

Maybe I didn't give her the beta side of things she also needed.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

shouldn't you be wearing tight pants in front of some guys at the gym and squatting.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I will be later :). Definitely deadlifting more than OP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

without a doubt!

[–]bowhunter61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is some good shit right there!

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I took the sex description as shorthand for letting the guys know that yes, his wife is attracted to him, this isn't a question of not lifting, etc. I did not take it as him saying "I'm so alpha I don't need to provide this emotional stuff." His other posts reflect that he realizes this was lacking.

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy


Do you like being second? Stop factoring children into your decision. You can still be the same awesome Dad without being married. Probably even moreso.

The emotional affair was knife in your back, but to ask for one last conversation that is a stab to your heart. She doesn't respect you!

As a man you are more than able to live a life of pain, toiling in your own blood, sweat and tears to make a life that you respect, admire and enjoy. The scars you bare are yours alone, nobody has the same ones and it makes us who we are. Kill that BP Motherfucker once and for all and live your goddamn life man!

Tell me, is this life you are currently living, does it sound anything like I've just described? AWALT has nothing to do with how Alpha or Beta, Nice Or Nasty, Sweet or Salty, it strictly lays out that no matter what their Hypergamous, Biological predisposition is, she will fuck up your status quo.

Think of this. Up until this, you thought this relationship was great, RIGHT? Well every relationship is great until this point, even mine. You can search my posts. I have never been BP, started as an Alpha, slid a little to Dad Bod mode and found myself. Then I found RP and realized there are others like me out there and those less fortunate that have endured a fuck ton of drama. In short Pal, make this woman a part of your past and an educational experience. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It will happen again. I stead if an wx it will be a new found friend that gets the feels going......

I am blunt and I hope my posts can hep you. WAKE THE FUCK UP!

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm seeing the beauty of what you say. Papers on Monday. Thanks.

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Msg me if you need support. You will be happy regardles of her!

Hang in there.......

[–]anotherswingingdick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Papers on Monday

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You might as well cut out the cancer now.

[–]Fadren2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now you have kids so I guess it's more difficult but for me it would matter how "emotional" the affair was. There's some difference between "I want your dick in my ass" and "I miss you honey". In the former case I would be looking for an attorney.... and in the latter ask her to block (and verify later). The final goodbye for closure is bullshit if you ask me.

I was actually in a somewhat similar situation of wife in emotional affair with guy far away while implementing improvement plan. I didn't confront her, was waiting to see if my progress would make a difference. Well it didnt, they made plans to meet instead, so I filed for divorce before I got cucked for real - no regrets, much better off now.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't tell her anything, it's a drug to her.

[–]opening_eyes1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What happens if you say NO and she does anyways (assuming this is bizarro world and you have an absolute way of knowing if she does)

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she hides it, I start working on divorce papers for an anniversary present.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If she does it anyway and then tells me after the fact, I have no idea if it went, "How much longer till we can be together? 1 year, ok. I'll start to laying the groundwork."


"I love my husband and family and can't do this. Best of luck and let's move on with our lives. Don't contact me any more."

So I don't know what I'd do in that scenario.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

I have a keylogger on her laptop. No good phone spyware for her iOS yet, waiting for updates.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Careful. Will building a better cage attract the type of woman you want? Do you want to spend your life building prisons? Wardens and prisoners both don't trust each other. It's more important to communicate boundaries and expectations than to obsessively enforce them.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I have, and she's broken that trust. But I hear you. Are you saying to let her have the call to appear like IDGAF?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

But you DGAF and you have all the right in the world to GAF. Your decision to participate in a relationship is your own. If you care why would you send mixed messages by pretending you don't? What does that accomplish? If your wife knows her actions are causing you harm and she willingly chooses to harm you... doesn't that tell you way more about your relationship than a keylogger would? If she's sneaking around and she fucks up it's on her.

What are the topics of their conversations? There's a big difference between talking about deeply emotional things and sexting to me.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

The text I've seen have been "I miss you. I'm thinking of you always. I care about you." From him

Can't see her replies, she deleted them.

She sent him some selfies. One had a little cleavage, but no full titty or anything.

Most communication was facebook messenger calls, so all I know is the frequency, which was almost daily for the last month.

Either way, papers will be put in front of her asap.

[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't draw up papers and put them in front of her unless you're ready for her to sign them. It can't be an empty threat. It has to be one of two options that you are choosing in your head. Just be aware of that.

That being said, I think it's the right move. Get the process started. Make it clear that's 100% on the table.

[–]more_load_comments1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife had an EM with a neighbor, I put an end to it. 5 years later an old HS friend got in contact and into her pants, 5 years after that Chad at the ball field was successful. That's when I found red pill. Probably to late for us long tern, but im doing much better now. Better job, lost weight, getting my game back. I'll probably next her someday, no rush, working on ME atm.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh. I'm sorry man. That sucks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Or is this the ultimate shit test to see if I'll fight to keep and protect my family and not get butt hurt even when my family is on the line?

what family? do you mean your children and the life you are building for them?

Or do you mean your wife who does not respect you enough to have told you that she needed a bit of beta as well?

Papers on table after seeing a lawyer. She isn't emotionally attracted to you? ok. you will find a few women who are.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I'm thinking. Going to see attorney Monday morning.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Is she a good wife otherwise? If so, you may want to patch it up and sprinkle a little beta comfort once in a while. Did you go red pill Rambo? This whole thing just seems like she's reaching out to an orbiter. If she really loved the guy she would have branch swung by now. You may want to laugh it off if he's really a pussy like you say. You're the one fucking her in the ass. He's sending her cat movies. Are you really threatened by that?

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I honestly don't feel threatened by him as much as, now I view her as a dishonest person willing to risk her family for some feelings.

Also, it indicates there is something she needs that I've not been providing. It has something to do with me being more comforting and paying more attention to her I think. None of it makes sense to me at this point.

I think I'll tell her she can have her conversation right after she signs the dotted line. I'll go see an attorney Monday morning.

Or she can work on closure on her own, the choice is hers.

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are probably right, there is something she needs and isn't getting from you, but that doesn't excuse the behavior. To me it sounds as if she just doesn't get how big a deal this is. I think your plan is a good one because it will drive the point home. If you were to say - sure call your emotional lover one last time hon - it lets her go on believing that it was just an emotional affair, she didn't really fuck up.

Good luck - I hope this wakes her up and she turns things around. Only then can you work on that comfort thing...

[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing you're missing is you. Whatever with her feelings and something you're not providing. Be a lean, fun, smile machine. You provide safety, strong leadership, and fun. You're in command of your life. You can lead her but you can't force her to do shit.

Then even if she fucks a whole football team you're still an attractive dude with an active life and options.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why would you reward this with comfort?


[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

I told her if she communicates with him without my involvement it will result in immediate divorce.

Mate guarding = beta. No wonder your wife is not attracted to you emotionally.

Why don't you take this as a learning experience and see what you can learn from it, rather than being butthurt about it?

Maybe your wife needs new female friends, or new hobbies or something? Anyway, I don't see any reason for you to flip out about all this, unless you want to drive your wife further away from you.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm not telling her that she cannot talk to him. I'm telling her if she does than she's made her choice.

I think I've maintained a fair amount of stoicism through this.

I will admit though, this made me realize the amount of blue pill beta still pumping through my veins. I think I'm doing OK through my actions, but my inside is beta bitch.

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I don't know what's best in your situation, but think of it this way.

If you were a woman, and your husband was flipping out a little bit, and issuing ultimatums, and acting insecure and threatened by your behavior... would this lead you to trust him and respect him, and feel confident in him as a man, and in his leadership qualities?

Or would those behaviors make you freak out a little bit, and sort of wish you had those leadership qualities in another man?

Issuing ultimatums might make you feel better emotionally, but they sort of force your wife to be the decision maker, right? To be the one in the driver's seat. To be the "captain" of the ship, so to speak. What if your wife is tired of being the captain, tired of having to make decisions?

Another problem with ultimatums is it could simply force your wife to become secretive. Or she could allow herself to get "caught" and then she can observe to see if you follow through on your threat or not, having already painted yourself into a corner that way.

Another option is to take charge somehow, like taking your wife away on a trip, or something. Change her experience. Maybe she wants you to lead her better, rather than you just demanding that she feel the way you want her to feel?

Anyway just my 2 cents.

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I couldn't disagree more with this. Telling your spouse you won't stay in a marriage where s/he has private communication with a person they admit to being emotionally attracted to is not issuing an ultimatum. It's making clear your standards for marriage.

I find your notion of the wife being forced to make a captain-like decision laughable. She screwed up, big time. Her husband now views her as a dishonest person. If my husband thought of me this way I would be upset to my core. Her only decision at this point is whether to beg forgiveness or blow up her marriage.

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, whatever turns you on. There is a saying that "you can't negotiate attraction".

One problem with ultimatums - even if you call them something else - is they can lead to secrecy.

Anyhow, I literally don't feel I know what's best in his situation. Maybe the ultimatum really is best.

[–]anotherswingingdick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a saying that "you can't negotiate attraction"

but you can negotiate the best possible prison break. By getting the best lawyer, firstest.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Talk is whining. Signed papers are action.

Too many men try expressing their desire for a divorce, then pussy out.

Talk is the last fucking thing you want to do

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]more_load_comments1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good advice. It's hard when you have been hurt but this is what needs to be done. At least for me.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mate guarding = beta. No wonder your wife is not attracted to you emotionally.


[–]DarkAges10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Is it mate guarding to tell your LTR that she can't have an affair or you are done? Is there a difference between emotional and sexual affairs in this regard? Does outcome independence include not caring if your LTR is fucking or true-loving another guy? Sure doesn't seem like it to me. It seems like a reasonable and honest thing to do. If AWALT, anyone could fall victim to a hypergamous LTR, and why wouldn't you say if you follow through with that, then you are no longer acceptable to me?

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Outcome independence has less to do with caring about if she were to screw someone else than with what you're actions are if said infidelity would happen. I was once asked, "What would you do, if I left? I said "I would find 3 of you half your age". It shows I enjoy who she is, but she isn't special and there are at least 3 that could take her place.

You cannot worry about it happening, just maintain your standards. If it does, you move on. Put your big boy pants on and move on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a negotiation from a position of weakness.

[–]dandar46001 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

She says that she's attracted to me physically and him emotionally...She wants one last private conversation with him so that she can "close this chapter of her life and have closure.

She closed that chapter of her life when she started dating you and then MARRIED you. There is no chapter to close. She opened a new chapter when she started cheating on you with him. Bitch should be happy you haven't served her papers yet.

Frankly you staying was an extreme display of low value on your part. Her respect for you was lowered simply by the fact that you did not walk away. That she was cheating was a sign of low respect in the first place. So in other words, SHE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU.

I get wanting to stay with her, but you have to look inward and be very critical. What is the shit that you are not taking care of? Job? House? Hobbies? Life apart from her? There are areas where you need to improve yourself. You have to adjust your MAP to cover your weak areas.

My guess also is that you are not paying attention to 12 levels of dread. I haven't read the professor's book, but it might be a good idea to give it a shot. All in all, you should get into a frame of mind where walking away will not be as emotionally painful as it is now because as it stands, whatever you say, it sounds like you are more emotionally invested into this relationship then she is.

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is all spot on. I'm soaking it in. Trying to hold the marriage together for the kids. If my son was a little older, I think he could handle it. But he will internalize this and it will change him. Thank you for the input.

[–]anotherswingingdick0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But he will internalize this and it will change him

yeah, it will strengthen him. He will NOT grow up to be a beta-pussy like his father. By the way, are we CERTAIN that he is your biological son.... Can you prove it to us?

[–]bainbridge_island1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha...your wife plated you. She likes your cock, but apparently very little else about you. You should let her carry on her "emotional" affair.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tell her that she can say good bye to him in your attorney's office after she signs on the dotted line. Hug, kiss and slap her on the ass

Go see one anyway and learn about your rights

[–]RecoveringBlue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great insight. Thank you.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So much fail here I don't know where to start. I agree with the suggestion to draw up the papers. Maybe it would be a wake up call.

Maybe not.

Either way focus on bettering yourself

[–]mabden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She wants one last private conversation with him so that she can "close this chapter of her life and have closure, which will enable her to truly focus on our relationship."

Bullshit. The only communication with this piece of shit is a 'No Contact Letter.' She writes it, you approve it, and you both send it out. Any further contact by him is ignored and you are informed. If you find out by other means, divorce. Any further contact by her is immediate filing for divorce. This must be made very clear to her as a consequence for her infidelity.

There are plenty of examples of what a 'No Contact Letter' should contain on the net.

I told her if she communicates with him without my involvement it will result in immediate divorce.

You got this half right. To bust up any affair, NO Contact is a must with no qualifiers, exceptions attached. Otherwise, it is divorce.

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[–]dragonsarealpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She has an orbiter, don't stress it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

3 months ago, her x reached out to her and they started an emotional affair. He lives in Germany, and all evidence points toward they haven't seen each other since before I met her. 90% sure they haven't fucked.

Yeah, that's how irrationally jealous men think

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret-2 points-1 points  (14 children) | Copy

Please read my "primer" on emotional affairs here:

My plan is to have many "emotional affairs" - intuition tells me that married women or women in LTR make better plates.

u/TheUltmateCad was right.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

that's not a primer, those are just the ramblings of an immoral prick.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

You sound a bit like a partner of a woman who had an emotional affair.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

haha nah. I keep my house in order. Just not the kind of person to go around sleeping with taken women when there are plenty of single ones out there. I don't need that shit on my conscience

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Define "taken".

It's not like I had to seduce her too much.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

If she's still married or has a boyfriend. I mean if it wasn't you she wouldn't fucked someone else so obviously it's not really on you but bragging about fucking with people's livelihoods is poor taste.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Hey, cheer up, maybe your wife had an only emotional affair but guess who's coming? SANTA CLAUS!!

And, she fucked, various other men, so your argument is invalid. How old are you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I'm not making an argument, I'm stating a fact that bragging about fucking with lives is terrible etiquette- "The loudest guy in the room is the weakest guy in the room."

I'm 28, never married, never dealt with infidelity. BUT, I have a soul and do not take joy in the pain of others, you should try it. That bitch karma is real and unforgiving.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Give it 10 more years then.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

uhh that makes no sense, you strike me as one of those dudes that has absolutely no clue. Again, it is wrong to take joy in the pain of others, that's like common human empathy, which you seem to lack.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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